LOGINNathanielDays passed…I was granted a few days off school to recover, which honestly I couldn’t decide was helping me or making things worse, because nothing actually got better.What happened that night had turned into a continuous nightmare, something I couldn’t pull myself out of no matter how hard I tried.Especially Nikolai.I glanced at my phone.11:47 PM.And he was still there.Standing beside his bike like always.At this point, his determination was something I genuinely needed to study.For the past few days, he had kept showing up outside my apartment, trying to talk to me, while I continuously ignored him.And somehow, stupidly, I thought he would eventually give up and leave me alone.I was wrong.Completely wrong.Nikolai refused to leave.Sometimes he stayed outside the entire night, sitting against his bike in complete silence like he was punishing himself.And every single time I looked outside and saw him there, something inside my chest hurt.Because despite every
NikolaiMy chest hurts.And I just can’t explain the feeling properly.Probably it started when Nathaniel told me to leave, or when I clearly saw the pain in his eyes, begging me to leave.He couldn’t even stand my presence, and that thought had something hard choking me.Eventually, I slowly backed away before turning around and walking off.I curled my hands into fists, feeling the overwhelming anger boiling through my veins.This is all my fault.I shouldn’t have underestimated Liam. I shouldn’t have.The hallway felt suffocating.Every step away from Nathaniel’s room made the pressure inside my chest worse. His voice kept replaying in my head over and over again.I called you so many times.They hurt me.I thought you were coming.I clenched my jaw so hard it hurt.Fuck.My breathing turned uneven as guilt clawed violently through me. I could still see him lying in that hospital bed bruised, shaking, terrified of even being looked at.Because of me.Because I wasn’t there.I hurt
NathanielMy head felt heavy.Everything hurt. Even breathing.A sharp ache throbbed through my ribs the second I tried moving, forcing a weak sound out of my throat. Pain immediately followed after it, deep and burning. My body felt like it had been torn apart and badly stitched back together.I frowned slightly, lashes fluttering as I tried opening my eyes.The light above me looked too bright.White ceiling. White walls. A faint beeping sound somewhere nearby.And then the strong smell of antiseptic hit me.Hospital.Panic crawled into my chest instantly.My breathing quickened.The alley.Those men.The knife.My body jerked slightly on instinct, but agony ripped through me so violently that a broken gasp escaped my lips.“Nathaniel?”The voice sounded shaky. Familiar.I turned my head slowly.Sophie was sitting beside the bed, gripping my hand tightly between both of hers. Her eyes were swollen and red like she had been crying for hours.The second she realized I was awake, fresh
NikolaiI glared at Anya over the table, ready to really kill this bitch for real.She was clearly having fun with this because she grabbed her father’s arm and then sheepishly said, “I don’t think that’s necessary, Father. I wouldn’t want to impose anything on Nikolai. He seems like someone who would rather find his own person.”“Nonsense.” Volkov waved dismissively. “He should be honored that he’s having my daughter as his wife. Is that right, Grey?”“Of course, Pakhan.” My father chuckled as he grabbed my shoulder again. “Nikolai will definitely be honored to have your daughter as his wife—”“I don’t want her as my wife,” I snapped, glaring at my father.His face darkened, crouching with anger. “Nikolai…” His tone was warning.I pushed his hand off me, really damn tired of this shenanigan.“I’m not getting married to get Father, or anyone for that matter.” My gaze flickered from my father to the Pakhan, who didn’t seem pleased by my disobedience.Anya gave me a mocking, knowing loo
NathanielAgain, I glanced over my shoulder after walking out of the restaurant.The men’s eyes were still very much on me.My grip tightened on the plastic bags as I hastened my footsteps.The cold evening air suddenly felt heavier.I told myself I was overthinking it.Maybe they weren’t even following me.But then I heard footsteps behind me.Several.Keeping up with mine.My stomach tightened painfully.I kept walking, trying to act normal while my pulse hammered against my chest.The street wasn’t exactly empty, but there still weren’t enough people around to make me feel safe.Most of the blocks were already closing.And the few people walking past barely paid attention to anything around them.A laugh sounded behind me.“Pretty boy’s walking fast.”Heat crawled up my neck instantly.I swallowed hard, forcing myself not to look back again.“Think he’s scared,” another voice said.Their footsteps got closer.Too close.I could practically feel them behind me now.One of them whist
Nathaniel He wasn’t picking up. Nikolai wasn’t answering my texts or calls and had seemingly disappeared from his apartment yesterday morning, and up till now, I haven’t heard anything from him. [Please just say something, Nikolai.] I had resorted to spamming his DMs with the hope that he would at last reply. [Okay fine, just tell me you’re okay.] [Nikolai please say something.] Still there wasn’t any response from him. I closed my eyes, sighing heavily. And it was then I realized that I really didn’t know much about him, apart from meeting two of his friends and the fact that he’s a part of some shady hunt, that’s all I know about Nikolai. Which apparently wasn’t enough. “Nate.” Sophie’s voice tore through, snapping my attention from my phone. She had stepped out of the changing room, wearing something which appeared to be a navy blue gown, with something charade going on at the bottom. She patted the gown. “What do you think of this one.” “It’s nice.” “Nice isn’t enoug
NathanielSweat trickled down my neck.And for some reason, I felt overly annoyed and nervous too.I glanced at my phone for what felt like the hundredth time, staring at the QR code, which had a small location attached at the bottom.I twitched my glasses.Yeah, I finally got a new one after my pr
NikolaiIt was a sight, seeing him without his glasses.His preppy, pretty-boy features were perfectly outlined. I could see every line, every curve, every stupid little imperfection that made him him.I could feel it, my fingers itching to trace them. Down his face, down to his collarbone, before
NikolaiSo today I choose violence….Wait that’s not right.Let’s go again.Waking up in the heavens blessed sunny Thursday morning, violence had decided to choose me to take its course in my hands, which of course there was no way I would refuse getting my hands soiled in some motherfucker’s blood
NathanielI glanced at my phone, which was ringing, and of course it was none other than my mother.Heavily I sighed, ended the call, knowing that she’s probably cursing my whole future.“Hey Lockwood.” Someone called, and turning around, I spotted Tyler, waving at me, and subconsciously I inhaled.







