5 Unknown

"No. Please no!" I beg and hit the person, the beast on top of me. No, this can't be happening. No matter how much I beg, he doesn't budge, he continues what he's doing, like my voice doesn't even matter.

Little by little, my body becomes stiff, I can feel everything that's happening to my body but I can't do anything to stop it, I can't move my body, I just lay on the soft leather seat, motionless, it's like I'm intoxicated, mentally unconscious but conscious to the continuous pumping and humping that's going on inside me.

Slowly the person on top of me pulls out from me and for a split second I think all the suffering is over till I feel a deep and painful thrust inside me, making me scream.

"No please" my pathetic voice pleads but once again it's as if I'm not heard. I watch helplessly, painfully as he chips away bits of my soul. I don't think I would be the same after this.

He picks up a faster pace, thrusting deeper, faster, harder till I feel my insides are being pulled out. I try to move my body but it can't.

I feel the person on top of me stiffen. No! no! no! Please don't ejaculate inside me.

I feel a bit relieved when he pulls out and disposes the full nylon. He looks in my direction and I think he smiles or moves his lips. He kisses my fore head and scurries away.

I shut my eyes tight and tears spew out of my eyes. I've just been raped, and I can't do anything about it, all the taekwondo lessons I took didn't help me. Alongside the hate that is boiling in me, I feel the warm liquid trickle from my sore spot down my thigh.

My virginity. The bastard just took it without consideration. I don't even know who, the only thing my blurred vision permitted me to see was the streak of golden brown on his dark brown hair. There's just one more thing left to do and with all the energy I could muster, I scream.

"Bailey wake up please, it's just a nightmare"

I open my eyes slowly and see Bryne beside me. No! I just had the same nightmare again.

Bryne pulls me closer to himself and pats my hair gently.

"Stop it" I want to sound stern but my voice comes out as a shriek. I try to sit my sweat-drenched body up but Bryne pulls me again to himself, making my head rest on his legs, and my body is in between his legs that are sprawled on the bed.

I slowly relax my body into his and he lightly kisses my hair. "Relax baby, it's just a nightmare"

Hot tears roll down my cheeks as I remember the painful incident that happened to me three years ago.

I couldn't exactly remember what happened that night, owing to the fact that I was drunk, highly intoxicated but I remember how I felt when I woke up the next morning, how I slowly slipped into depression and no one knew, I couldn't get myself to tell anyone, not even my mom or my sister. For one, the fear of being judged or looked at differently. I know my mom wouldn't do all that but she would have questioned me, about why I was at the club that night, why I lied to her about going to have a sleepover at Bella's house. I didn't actually lie about the sleepover, Bella suggested we go to a club and that was how it ended.

So everyday for two years, I fought myself, I struggled for sanity, for my soul to stay alive, and I did all that alone. I watched myself change from the once cheerful, popular good-girl Bailey into a black-soul, depressed bag of shit. It changed me, I detested men a lot, I didn't even want to look at men with golden brown hair. It even affected my relationship with my dad, I couldn't look him in the eye again, worst of all, he had a golden brown hair.

Coupled with all that, that was when Bella saw it best to bring up a fight and turn back on me at a time I really needed a best friend. She didn't know what I passed through, I didn't tell her and I'm happy I didn't tell her, goodness knows what she would have done, maybe tell the whole school or mock me for that.

My mom saw the quick change in me, every one did, of course who didn't notice that the social, popular, friendly girl turned into a sour-heart shadow. My mom tried to help in every possible way she could- and I appreciate the help- but she didn't even know the problem. She tried taking me for therapy sessions which ended up in a mess because my problem didn't need a therapy or any of that shitty thing, it needed me. Yes my problem needed me to fight back myself, to pull myself out of the abyss I was falling into and I had no power to do that, the nightmares constantly taunted the fact that I wasn't strong enough, Bella constantly proved to me that help could never be near whenever you needed it the most.

All this happened a month to my graduation from highschool. You have probably wondered the same thing, I know. I always get the worst graduation gifts.

After I got into college, I met a group of girls who I'm grateful for till today, they kept coming no matter how I pushed them away, they helped me, even when I claimed I didn't need the help, all four of them became my very own personal therapist. I told them later, finally after fighting with myself about it and they didn't snort, laugh, snicker or show fake concern, they helped me together, almost as if they faced the same problem with me, they showed me what Bella didn't, that help was always there with the right people. They became my friends, lovers, best friends and sisters. Yes I loved them and still do with every fibre I have because they deserve it.

Shortly after they came into my life, Bryne made his way into my life also, of course it wasn't easy for him but he still found his way.