47- Forts and fallouts

The next three months continue in this fashion. Megan and Darrien continue to visit me and I continue to live on autopilot. I lose weight because I can't seem to eat or sleep properly. I'm working more than ever. It helps to stay busy. It means less time staring at the wall. I still help Megan with wedding stuff but my enthusiasm is even more false than it was before. Still, the wedding plans continue to progress. Maggie messages me on multiple occasions inviting me to stop by. I make excuses every time. I haven't cried since that day and I don't intend to cry again. I haven't seen or heard from Bellamy either, although Megan and Darrien insist that he has been checking in with my guards regularly. That actually makes things worse. If he wants to talk to me all he has to do is call, or come see me. Instead he's spying on me from a distance getting reports from others. It only confirms that he has no interest in actually seeing me. Darrien suggested I should go see him. But if he is av