Love Ain't For Me

~Rhea

It’s been a week since I last spoke to Kai.

He tried, multiple times. Texts, knocking on my door, even leaving food outside my room like some pathetic peace offering. I ignored every single one. I made it all futile. I had to.

I sat on the edge of my bed in the house wing, staring at the wall, arms wrapped around my knees. The silence in the big estate felt heavier than usual.

I was the fool.

Believing I could have something real with that naughty, spoiled brat. How did I even let myself fall in love with him? He’s a walking red flag. Younger than me, promiscuous, always chasing the next thrill. He’s just… shit.

I should’ve known better.

After everything I’ve been through, the trauma, the training, the walls I built so high no one could climb them, I let him tear them down with his stupid smile and his filthy mouth.

I let him make me scream his name, let him make me feel safe for a moment, let myself believe that maybe, just maybe, he saw me as more than a convenient fuck.

And then he proved me right by chasing after that arrogant blonde the second I was gone.

I pressed my forehead to my knees, breathing slowly.

I’m done.

No more slipping. No more losing control. From now on, I’m his bodyguard, nothing more.

Even if it hurts like hell.

Even if every time I close my eyes I still see him looking at me like I’m the only thing in his world.

I stood up, wiped my face, and straightened my tactical top. Time to go back to work.

No feelings, no weakness.

I stepped out of my room, determined to keep my walls up and my mouth shut.

The second I turned the corner, I bumped straight into Kai.

He was standing right there, like he’d been waiting. His hand shot out and caught my wrist before I could retreat back into my room.

“Rhea, wait…”

I froze. His grip wasn’t tight, but it was warm and steady. For a second, I wanted to yank away, to remind him and myself how strong I used to be.

But I didn’t.

Geez… I used to be stronger than this. What happened to me?

Is this how this love thing works? Turning a trained, unbreakable woman into someone who hesitates when the wrong boy touches her wrist?

I looked up at him, trying to keep my face cold. “Let go,” I said quietly.

He didn’t. Instead, he stepped closer, eyes searching mine.

“I know I fucked up,” he said, voice low. “I was stupid. Jealous. Reckless. But I sent her away the second you walked in. I haven’t touched anyone else since. I don’t want anyone else.”

I scoffed, trying to pull my wrist free, but my body betrayed me again, it didn’t fight as hard as it should have.

“You think pretty words fix this?” I whispered. “You think I can just forget you were ready to fuck another girl the moment I left the house?”

Kai’s thumb brushed lightly over the inside of my wrist, almost unconsciously.

“I don’t expect you to forget,” he said. “I just… I want you to know it was a mistake. A stupid one. Because the only person I keep thinking about is you. The only person I want screaming my name is you.”

My heart clenched painfully.

I wanted to believe him.

I wanted to slap him.

I wanted to drag him into my room and let him remind me why I kept falling.

Instead, I just stood there, letting him hold my wrist, feeling weaker than I had in years.

Love really was turning me into someone I barely recognized.

I stood there for a second, letting his thumb brush my wrist, feeling that stupid warmth spread through me.

Then I snapped back to reality.

I yanked my hand free, stepping back sharply.

“No,” I said, voice cold and firm. “I’m not doing this again.”

Kai’s eyes widened slightly, but I didn’t give him time to speak.

I pushed him hard, both hands on his chest, forcing him back a step.

“You don’t get to do this,” I hissed, anger and hurt mixing in my chest. “You don’t get to fuck around, call me your fuck mate to your friends, then come back with sweet words like nothing happened. I’m done being your convenient little toy, Kai.”

He opened his mouth, but I cut him off, stepping further away.

“Stay away from me. I’m your bodyguard. That’s it. Nothing more. If you can’t handle that, then fire me. I’ll leave right now.”

My voice didn’t waver, but inside I felt like I was cracking.

I turned on my heel and walked back into my room, shutting the door firmly behind me.

Leaning against it, I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath.

Love wasn’t for me.

I leaned against the closed door, breathing hard, trying to steady the storm inside my chest.

Then I heard it, the soft click of the lock on my door.

I spun around just in time to see Kai standing inside my room, having used the master key he obviously still had.

He looked wrecked, eyes tired, hair messy, the usual cocky smirk completely gone.

“Rhea… I can’t do this anymore,” he said quietly. “I know I fucked up. I know I chased Seraphima like an idiot. But none of it means anything compared to you.”

I opened my mouth to push him away again, but he stepped closer, voice cracking slightly.

“I’m in love with you. Not the sex. Not the thrill. You. The woman who makes me want to be better than the spoiled brat everyone thinks I am.”

He stopped right in front of me, close enough that I could see the genuine fear in his eyes.

“I don’t want anyone else. I only want you. Even if you hate me right now. Even if you never forgive me. I’m yours… if you’ll still have me.”

The silence stretched between us.

I wanted to slap him again.

I wanted to kiss him.

I wanted to run.

Instead, I just stood there, heart pounding, staring at the boy who had completely destroyed every wall I had built.

And for the first time in years, I had no idea what to do next.