3

I gazed at the ceiling of my room while laying in my bed. Sleep was far away from my eyes. After seeing Chris today once again, old memories, good and bad, awesome and painful, everything came rushing in front of my eyes. I couldn't help but to think about those times.

I and Rose are childhood best friends. In fact mine and Rose's parents are also friends. I'm 20 years old and Rose is just an year younger than me. We both were crazy, partners in crime, doing crazy shit, always getting in trouble.

Chris was a quite child. Always saving us from getting in trouble. Hot as molten lava and cute as a pie. He is six years older than me and five years older than Rose.

When Rose and I were 9 years old, we made a promise that I'll marry Chris, so that we could always stay with each other. And mostly because I had big ole crush on him ever since I didn't even know what the meaning of crush was.

So here starts my craziness. After that promise, I always tried to throw myself on Chris. Flirting with him, trying to kiss him, trying to pull his attention towards me, every damn thing you can imagine.

But Chris was a tough boy. He never glanced at me. Whenever I tried to throw myself at him, he threw me away. He was always engaged in god knows what secret activities.

When I was sixteen, I went to him and like always, tried to cling to him and kiss him but like always, he pushed me away from him. I stumbled back a little but then he said that I should quit throwing myself at him 'cause he thinks of me as his little sister.

That was the day when the smile I always wore for him, wiped out of my face. I literally heard the sound of something breaking in me. 'Cause you know, maybe I didn't know what the meaning of love was at that time, but I definitely knew that I wanted Chris like my whole world was revolving around him.

What he said, hurt. Big time.

I walked away from there, to never go back to him again.

It's been 3 years since that incident. Still I see him occasionally but he is like a shadow to me. Black and mysterious. Although the love I felt for him wiped out of my heart or should I say, I made myself stronger to leave him behind and start a new life. As the time faded, my heart also healed and blocked him out for forever.

Still sometimes I wonder, was I really like a sister to him all those years when I tried to make him fall in love with me?