3: Lila

Last night was nothing out of the ordinary. I had dropped my dad off at the bar, and the bartender, Dawn, called me when it was time for me to pick him up. That's normal for us. We've been following this routine since I was fourteen, and my dad taught me how to drive because he was threatened with a DUI. They let him off, though being a firefighter and all, he seems to get away with more than you would think normal. So I dropped him off and picked him up. At least I have my driver's license now. I used to be afraid of what would happen if we were pulled over while I was driving, but I guess we were lucky.

There was one thing, though, that was different last night. I saw the blonde man from the diner. His eyes were locked on me. I'm used to men staring at me, especially when they've been drinking, but he wasn't watching me in the way I'm used to. I really can't explain it. I tried not to pay attention to him, but I can't help but hope to see him again. My dreams had him at the center, and I woke up wishing to be close to a man for the first time in my life. I've thought men were attractive, of course, but this is different. I want to know what his hair would feel like as I ran my finger through it and if his lips would taste as good as they look.

I can't help but wonder why him and his friends are here in my town. There is nothing here that would make anyone want to visit. It's not like we are a tourist town. There's nothing great to see or do. Maybe one of them has family here. If that was the case though I would have seen them before. Men that attractive they stand out.

My dad wasn't up shouting for aspirin this morning. I went to his room, but he was gone already. I tried calling him, and he sent me straight to voicemail. That's really odd my dad always answers. I start to panic. I didn't hear him leave. I hope he didn't go back out last night after I got him home.

I need to get to school and, although my dad doesn't do this often, it has happened. I send him a text asking to just wish him a good day. I know if I ask if he is safe or pry it will just make him angry and that's a storm I'd rather avoid today.

The day passes slowly. I'm eager to get to work. I just keep hoping I will see him again today. Maybe I'll learn his name.

It's getting close to the end of my shift, and I'm feeling annoyed and anxious I haven't seen that man again. It doesn't even make sense why I'm feeling this way and Nova has been very quiet which isn't like her at all. I tried to talk to her, but it's almost like she's gone, but then she'll chime in when I ask if she is still there. That's also causing me to feel more stressed. I am used to that voice inside my head. You think I'd be happy my brain is acting normal for once, yet here I am concerned. I'm not talking to myself. Honestly, I just don't know how to feel. My dad still hasn't responded, and he's not on shift today, so I'm just more stressed than normal.

As I gather my bag and start heading out the door I see him. His two friends are with him. My heart rate increases and Nova starts pacing. She's pulling at me, pulling me towards him. He sees me leaving and holds open the door, but as he does, he pushes his body against mine. I feel his hard abdomen. I put my hand to his chest to push him away, but it lingers on him as I smell him for the first time. He smells like paperback books, rain on the desert ground, with hints of honeysuckle. I didn't know any person could smell this good. I don't know how to explain it, but his smell makes me think I've found home. Nova utters one word, Mate.

He is staring into my eyes, my hand still lingering on his broad chest. He says the same word Nova did, "mate". At that moment, he was jerked away from me suddenly. My hand still held in the air where his chest had previously been.

I look around and blinking rapidly, try to comprehend what just happened. It's my dad. He ripped the man back and is glaring daggers at me. "What the F*ck is going on here Lila." He says with his teeth clenched.

"Nothing dad. I was just leaving to catch the bus home." I say in my most soothing tone, trying to help my dad calm down. I can see he's sober, and he is mean. When he's sober, it's like a different person. That's why I've never tried or even approached the topic of asking him to cut back on drinking, because he is actually a kinder man when he drinks.

I walk towards him but steps back. I stop suddenly. "Lila, get in the car were going home." He sneers.

I just nod and walk towards the car. I look back at the man. I don't even know his name, but I miss him already. It's such an odd sensation to miss a person you don't even know.

I sit in the car and I can see my dad is furious at all three men. I'm not sure why he's so mad, but maybe he misinterpreted me leaving the diner as something else, or maybe they met at the bar last night, and it didn't go well.

My dad storms to the car after shoving one of the dark haired men.

"What were you doing with them?" He asks spit flying out of his mouth.

"Nothing, I told you I was just leaving to catch the bus home. They were coming in as I was leaving." My heart is racing again but for a different reason now. I'm afraid of how mad my dad is when he gets like this. My anxiety gets really high, and it can become hard to breathe, but I can't let it show, or he will get angrier and think I'm lying. I know this from experience.

"Is that all? Do you know them?" He hisses.

"No, I don't know. They were at the diner yesterday. I served their table. That's all." I say calmly. I know I can't leave anything out my dad knows everyone in the little town and if I leave out a single detail and he finds out there will be hell to pay.

"Good, keep your distance. I don't want you anywhere near them." He is still furious but his breathing is calming and I know he trusts me.

"I understand." I say simply. Its the only thing I can say without lying. I know my dad doesn't want me around them for whatever reason. I don't think I can stay away though.

My dad smiles and pats my leg "That's my girl." He says gingerly as though he didn't just freak out.

We drive home in silence and Nova is still pacing in my mind, desperate to get back to that man. I can't help but think today, when my hand touched that ruggedly handsome man, the course of my life changed in that very instant.