The Luna that never was

I can feel the wetness of the wall-stones in my bones. I had not been out of the corner of the cell in hours. I was in pain because my limbs ached, my back screeched in pain and my head was hurting due to the cold. My body was returned to a tight circle, I was enshrouded in arms and knees with open eyes just staring at the wall of the cell . I was not even able to cry. I had lost all the things- tears, dignity, hope.

I overheard them at the open bars. The guards. Whispering. Laughing.

One of them, with a sneering voice, said “so it had always been true, she was trouble. The beauty and style--all a pose. Guess she flattered him with her sugary eyes to get the man to sleep with her.”

“And the way she was found…” another “snickered–Indecently and naked!. A real whore in the robes of Luna.”

The laughter between them followed and rebounded off the stone walls and pierced my stomach. My fingers clenched tighter around my arms. I chewed on my lower lip very hard and tasted blood and tried not to raise my voice. Not to break again.

They didn't know me. They didn't know a damn thing.

But it was their words which cleft through my remaining strength. They took up the cry that was incessant in my mind; Would Xavier believe me?

The answer was in his eyes. And it wasn't what I had hoped.

All at once the laughter between them subdued, and the silence in the corridor settled. I didn’t look up. I didn't care who it was—Beta, Gamma, executioner. Let them come. Let them take the rest of me.

But then I heard it—her voice. Smooth, delicate, laced with mockery.

“Oh, Larissa,” Selene purred. “What a sight you’ve become.”

My breath caught in my throat. I did not at once raise my eyes, but I heard the turning of heels on the floor as she came slowly, clearly, toward the bars.

“Once adored. Once celebrated. Now reduced to filth on the floor. Does the stone comfort you, Luna?”

I looked up then. Slowly. My eyes met hers.

Selene looked radiant. Her hair was dark curls pinned with the utmost advantage, her lips made up in a sardonic rose colour, her dress flowing and statelike. An iconic shot of the she-wolf she would want to be forever.

I stood up in a trembling condition. With the chain of my ankle ringing against the iron ring as I stood reminding me I'm nothing but a prisoner now.

“What are you doing here Selene?” I asked roughly.

She looked at me with malicious delight with a very fine shrug of the shoulder.

“I came to check that you are still alive.” She said with a scorn voice. The guards said you refuse to eat and you've been quiet. “I guess you must have been killed with shame.”

I did not answer.

She cocked an ear. “No words? You are not that way and you always have so much to say when Xavier looks at you like a hungry wolf.”

My jaw tightened.

“Oh, come come,” she said, and spoke sweetly,–her voice filled with venom. You may confess it. You liked it. Playing Luna. Dancing around the pack like you belonged. Yet you never do. We both are aware of that.

I drew myself breathlessly. “Why are you here?–why are you here?”

She smiled more.Her lips curled into a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. It was a slow, deliberate stretch, steeped in venom—like she enjoyed watching my squirm. Mockery oozed from every inch of it, as if my pain was the punchline to her favorite joke.

“I came to give you some good news. I thought of doing you the honour by telling you in person rather for you you hear it from someone else”

She put her slender hand upon her level belly and rubbed it gently and by intent. My heart was in a skip. No. No…

“i am pregnant Larissa.”

The phrases were a clap of thunder.

She said, see my reaction, “I know. Shocking. Or, perhaps not. We have history, Xavier and I, it is true. Chemistry. And, now, a future.”

I was blinking and the world was going round.

“What a liar you're?” I said abruptly

The corners of her eyes turned up. Oh, you wish

… But no, it's true Larissa. The child is going to belong to royal heritage. Xavier’s blood. I believed it would be quite reasonable that you should hear it, through me personally.”

I moved back little, my back knocking right into the stone–cold wall.

And you want to guess the best part? she said so low to me snugging close to the bar, crouching to my height. Xavier will never give up his child, even if he does not love me. Which means... I win.”

Tears filled the corners of my eyes . I won't let them fall. Not in her presence.

*You are mean,” I said, very low.

She smiled, and stood up graciously. “No, darling. I’m realistic. You have always been an interim. A distraction.” “This?” She put her hand against her belly once more. “This cannot be changed.”

And then turning away with a parting satisfied smirk she went. Her last words cut deep Into my flesh.

“Good night dear, enjoy your stone bed, Luna.”

–––––

The moment she disappeared the silence came.

I did not move.

I made no comment.

I simply sat there, and the weight of her words was on my breast until I could hardly breathe.

I thought of Xavier. The appearance of him when he first laid eyes on me earlier across the cell room. The fury. The betrayal. The distance.

I recalled how my parents had sold me down the here claiming they were paying off their debts and had given me to this pack or given me up as the thing to shake off like dust. And I had made a trial.. Tried to belong.

And now? See me here.

Alone. Shamed. Powerless.

And now Selene pregnant for Xavier.

I shut my eyes and was at last able to allow myself to cry--angry, hot, silent tears.

What pathetic story, I told myself, bitterly.

The Luna that never exited. Deceived by blood. Smitten in love. and now quite replaced by the woman who never wanted her.

So again I drew up into myself and murmured this one word which still tasted like hope.

“Xavier…”

But even that name did not seem to give any sign of hope.