PAIN. FEAR. DESIRE

I stand before the mirror after dressing up, the blue gown making a good mockery of my situation. I feel so dirty even in this elegant attire. It's been hours since that monster vented all his sexual anger on me. I feel so disgusting. I feel so dirty. If only the long hour I have spent in the shower was enough to scour his scent off me, if only I can stop feeling nauseous remembering his kisses, just, if only. But even after the long shower, I feel as disgusting as I was when he left me dripping with cums hours ago. His touches are still irritating skin.

The make-up artist that he sent to me to hide the imprints of his animosity on my face did a commendable, but the emotional pain is so dominant. It can't be masked. Nothing can heal or conceal this emotional torture.

The sound of the door opening startles me. I dry my tears not minding the mascara and other make-up. I turn around, and gladly this time, it's not my nightmare, but the only friend I have had so far for that one week that I have been in this hell.

"Joy!" I greet her as she walks towards me after closing the door.

She doesn't answer, but keeps coming to me. I know. She is confused at my outfit and these itching makeups.

"It's been years since I saw a lady dressed up so elegantly. You look like a queen." She says, her eyes scanning me from the toes up, and stopping at my face. Then she adds. "But a dump sell queen in a cage hoping for a savior."

She read that pretty well. I hope I can find a savior because I don't know how long I can bear this.

"Hey, Ella! Bestie, so you finally agreed?" She asks, concern smeared all over her face.

My tears do the talking. I can't control them no matter my efforts. Joy holds my hand, and pulls me to bed.

"Shit! Ooh, no!" I turn my face to see what she is exclaiming.

The condition of the bed speaks of the unforgivable sin that just took place here. I don't know why she hadn't sniffed the horrible scent of his cum since the moment she walked in, but her eyes caught the sight of the stains on the sheets. Her shock is beyond ingenuity, but nothing correlated to the pain I am feeling. I would have borne the physical torture, but my dignity? My purity? I will forever curse and despise this monster.

"Don't tell me...he, already did it?" Joy asks, perching herself beside me as she caresses my back in a soothing motion.

"That dog finally got what he yearned for! It's...so...disgusting, Joy!" I retort with laboured words.

"I'm so sorry, Ella! Take it easy, okay?" Joy consoles.

Easy? I should take it easy? I just lost my pride to that beast! I feel so empty, and dirty, and worthless! And I should take it easy? Then again, this is nothing compared to what Joy and the rest have gone through in years serving as Ajay's money-making machines. I can't even begin to comprehend what they have abode to this far. I don't even know what keeps them going all these years. I am lucky that Ajay made this offer to me. But why? Why me?

"You know, Ella! There is a brighter side to this." Joy says, snapping me from the wonderland of the lost.

"What?" I ask, fixing my eyes on her.

"I have been in this place for almost ten years now, and I have never seen the Don so invested in a girl like this. He offered you immunity, something he never offered even to the random girls he picks for himself every now and then. But you? He got you a decent attire and even had you all dolled up!"

And that's why I am getting so confused with this - his offer, and his barbarity to me. He asserted that he didn't know me before that day he rescued me from only him knows who, then why all this?

"Why do you think he is doing it?" I ask.

"I don't know, Ella, but whatever it is, use it to your advantage for as long as it lasts. It's flaming hell in those dorm rooms. Sometimes you only know you outlived the torture when you open your eyes after a couple of hours, and you wish you instead died. Because it's something you will be bound to until you breathe your last. I would personally grab such an offer before the snap of a finger if I get one." She explains, tears cropping up in her eyes, depicting just how much pain she is concealing.

I grab her hand, and give it a gentle squeeze. She urges a weak smile, sucking back the tears. If she can afford to smile and stay strong after years of this immeasurable pain, I should probably stop being a crying baby. I dry my tears.

"Someday, the sun will shine bright on us, and we will leave this..."

She cuts me off!

"Don't even think about it, Ella!" Nobody has ever succeeded in escaping from Ajay! Everyone who attempted to is six feet underground, and the only one he spared, is crippled somewhere here in a dungeon!"

God of mercy! His level of animosity keeps climbing up the ladder the more I get to know him. A dungeon?

"Who is that that he let live after attempting to escape?" I curiously ask.

"Some girl we thought was his wife. She seems to have something on Ajay. A secret, perhaps, but no one knows for sure why he spared her when he brutally butchered everyone else she was with that day." Joy explains, adding more to my bafflement.

Wait!

"If Ajay is as dangerous as you label him, or as I believe he is, then that girl ought to have something big on him." I state.

"Yeah! We believe so. It must be something..."

"That can destroy him!" I finish the statement for her, earning a confused look and a raised eyebrow from her.

"Yes, and if you want to live, if you want your people to find you alive if ever they get lucky to locate you, you better not play with fire, Ella! Ajay is a vicious devil, and a proud one who wouldn't think twice about killing anyone. And before he kills you, he makes you taste hell. Don't cross him!" She warns.

"You don't have to worry about me, Joy! I think Ajay..."

"He doesn't have a heart, Ella! I can't depict what he feels for you or why he is treating you so differently, but don't ever even think that he loves you. He is a monster. He doesn't care about anyone. The word love doesn't exist in his vocabulary, just like forgiveness." Joy affirms, springing up from the bed, and I do the same.

"I know, Joy! Do you honestly think I would easily be fooled by his stupid gestures? And love? I wouldn't even want to visualize a fucking monstrous devil like Ajay falling for me even if he had a heart of gold!" I respond.

"Then please listen to me, Ella! Do as he asks you to. Accept this. You'll be safer that way otherwise you'll be dead the second you start planning on doing anything stupid!"

Huh? I thought she would at least ask if I have the plan to escape this horrible place. I understand her though. She knows this monster and the rules of this place more than I do. It's best if I don't involve her in anything that I come up with.

What if this monster has a weak point? That girl- that woman he is hiding might be a bomb that will blow him up into pieces. Who is she? What's her connection with him?

"Building castles in the air? Stop being hopeful and just flow with this tide, Ella! That's what has kept me and the rest alive to this day. There is no hope of getting out of this place unless, of course, you are dead! I'll go now before they notice I'm missing." She pats my shoulder, and strolls out, leaving me pondering on all these sentiments.

On one hand, is the desire to escape this place, and on the other hand, is her warnings about the heartless Ajay! The fear of dying while attempting to free myself from this monster is as compelling as the desire to flee from his clutches. What will...

"I see the queen is all ready!"

I spun in the direction of the door to that sarcastic tone, and my mouth hangs agape at the beauty standing behind the closed door. Well, this one looks like a model goddess straight from the sky.

"Sorry, you are?" I ask.

"Terris! The Don's favourite! So don't get too comfortable thinking that this fling he has on you will last for long!"

Well, she is a pathetic bitch! Ajay's favourite? She can be his one and only for all that I care! IMAO!

"I see that he has already broken you?" She adds after eyeing my bed for so long.

This is a topic I will evade all my life, because he wasn't deserving of my purity. I didn't deserve to lose my pride to a monster like him, and definitely not in the way I did. That's a memory that will haunt me forever.

"If you haven't realized, this is my room! You must have missed your way to yours!" I state.

"Ooh, no! I was sent here by the Don to get you. I don't know what you did to get him to fuck you this soon, but I warn you..."

"Keep your empty warnings to your cheap pathetic self! I don't care what kind of a desperate fool you are to claim something that's not yours, but I don't care. But yes, Ajay wants me to be his special girl, and there is no freaking way I am letting such an offer down. I will relish this for as far as it will go and you, will have to step aside, Terris!"

"You are so full of yourself! How dare you even address the master by his name? Clearly, you either don't know him, or you are stupid to consider yourself special. Tell you what, bitch, everyone here, including his partners, address him as the Don or master, and you are no exception!" She fumes, and I smirk at her oblivion.

"And tell you what, b.i.t.c.h! I apparently am so special. So special to him that he himself asked me to be addressing him by his name. How is that?" I mock her, and she seems to have heard the most impossible thing in her entire life, like it's the shocking wonder of the world.

"You are making that up. That's impossible!" She states, shaking her head to affirm her statement.

"Then why don't you go and confirm from him? Come on! I dare you to take your requiems to Ajay if you think you have any rights, Terris!" I challenge, and she cowers with fear!

So she knows she has no freaking rights? Then why try to scare me? Bitch!

"If you have now come to your senses, show me the way to where Ajay is. You should know he is a very impatient man!" I say, and lead the way out.