Outcast

Alari’s pov

I pulled myself off the floor, wincing and moaning at the pain coursing through my body, no one ever told me a rejection hurt this much; but it’s not every day a wolf rejects their mate.

Dragging myself into the bathroom, I looked at my reflection and broke my own heart. My eyes were swollen and red, my face pink and tear stained, I looked like shit and felt even shittier.

Loud, joyous laughter filtered in through the open window and my heart twisted in envy and anger; they were enjoying themselves and here I was breaking. My own mate is out there having the time of his life!

I washed my face, trying to look as presentable as possible and steeled my aching heart. I knew the risk of going out there, I knew the rejection that was waiting for me; I’d seen and felt it all my life but I needed to be strong. I couldn’t let them keep treating me this way; I had to show him that I could stand up for myself.

I wiped my face with a towel and walked out, squaring my shoulders, mentally preparing myself for the looks and whispers. No one expects to see me at that party, he doesn’t expect me to make an appearance and I was looking forward to disappointing him.

I made my way down the stairs, through the corridor that led to the back yard where the party was held. I felt my heart beating in my ears the closer I got to the door and the louder the joyful chatter became.

Wiping my sweaty hands on my pants, I expelled a deep sigh, trying to push that small voice of doubt echoing in my mind, I couldn’t chicken out now, I wouldn’t!

I got to the door and lifted my hand to turn the doorknob but froze, uncertainty clouding my thoughts. What if this is a mistake? I wouldn’t only be confronting my mate but the entire pack!

How would he react to that? He certainly won’t embrace me and profess his love, might even embarrass me in front of everyone, make a joke out of me.

NO! I can’t let fear stand in the way of getting my mate back. I have to try and win him back, I have to prove myself to him and this is the first step. If I don’t try then I’ll never be happy, I’ll be miserable forever and I don’t think I can survive that.

I opened the door and stepped out, my eyes going over the pack until they settled on my mate, who turned to look at me and we locked eyes. I knew what I was expecting and I should have readied my heart better but the sneer on his face made my knees weak.

I took a deep breath and hardened my gaze, masking the pain I was feeling inside; I had to show him I wouldn’t break that easy, not anymore.

I was about to step forward when I noticed a girl beside him, holding on to his arm while chatting and laughing with the Alpha and Luna. My wolf, who’d been silent since Xavier rejected us sprang forward, growling loudly in my head.

Who the fuck was that girl? I’d never seen her before. Was she new to the pack? And why the hell was she holding on to my mate like that?

“Rip her head off!” my wolf growled, pushing forward, stronger than I’d ever felt her; and this time, I agreed, if I was ever going to shift for the first time, might as well be when I’m winning my mate back.

I shifted my gaze back to Xavier, who now had a devilish grin ruining his perfect face. I shivered, anxiety pooling at the bottom of my stomach, making me question my decision to come here.

He moved his gaze from me to the girl beside him, smiling lovingly at her and she returned the smile. He kissed her forehead, making the Luna swoon at the two of them.

Jealousy and pain licked at my heart, burning me form the inside out; bile rising to choke me where I stood. Is that the girl he rejected me for? He chose some dumb blond over me? What the hell does she have that I don’t?!

“Oh just look at them, our Alpha is smitten!” an elderly woman within earshot said, making my ears twitch. I wanted to scream, to shut them up, Xavier isn’t smitten with her, he’s my mate, he loves me!

“And I hear she’s an Alpha’s daughter and only heir to her pack” the one next to her said, nodding her head in approval.

“Beauty, brawn and power; our pack will be one of the biggest in the Kingdom after their ceremony tomorrow” the first one said and I felt like shrinking where I stood.

So that’s what it is, she’s an Alpha too. “I deserve an Alpha’s daughter!” Xavier’s voice rang in my head, making my body tremble; she’s what he meant. He chose power over fate!

I returned my attention back to Xavier and the girl next to him, the sight of them making me wish I’d just gone home instead of coming here.

I could taste bile in my mouth as the image of them together burnt itself into my brain. The realisation making my wolf sink back to the darkness of my mind.

And even in that darkness, I could feel her sorrow, her defeat and I could hear her whimpers; knowing we couldn’t even fight for our mate, we couldn’t challenge this girl for the Luna title.

Being a chosen Luna meant you could be challenged for your title but where would I even begin, she’s an Alpha’s daughter and me? I was a nobody with zero training, undeserving of an Alpha.

Why did the Goddess pair me with an Alpha to begin with? An omega wouldn’t have rejected me!

I could see why he wants her and not me, she’s the better of us, more suited to stand beside him, she was born to lead and I couldn’t even hate her for it.

“What are you doing here?” I almost cringed as the nasal voice of Bianca, one of my greatest tormentors, asked. I didn’t have it in me to even respond, my body was trembling, pain radiating through me like I’d been beaten black and blue. I didn’t even have the energy to look at her.

“Crashing the party, that’s what” Monica laughed loudly, causing a few eyes to turn to us.

Nervous energy rose as more eyes turned and the whispers began, the pack shocked that I was even there.

“Because we all know there’s no way she was invited” said Bianca, making the tears I’d been fighting back roll down my face.

“Why are you just standing there, you’re ruining the party for everyone, leave already!” I could even feel the eye roll that came with that statement and my eyes found the floor, my legs frozen where I stood.

I felt a sudden presence beside me and before I could react, pain rocket through my arm, spreading quickly to the rest of me. Tears welled up but I refused to cry, I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.

“Didn’t you hear what I said? Fucking leave you freak! Nobody wants you here, just look around” Bianca said, digging her claws deeper into my arm and I kept my eyes downcast, refusing to see the rejection from my own pack again. I could take it tomorrow but not today.

“What is the meaning of this!” the Luna whisper yelled, making Bianca let go of my arm.

“Apologies Luna, I was just telling Alari that she needs to leave” Bianca said, making my heart twist because I knew the Luna wouldn’t defend me, if anything, I would be getting punished. Why the hell did I even come here?

“Why are you still here?!” the anger she’d put in her Luna command made me shiver,

intensifying the pain I’d already been feeling.

“S.. sorry Luna” I managed to say before turning on my heel and running home, tears blurring my vision as I tried to move as fast as my body would let me. I bumped into a few people and I could hear their displeasure at being touched by someone of my calibre; making my heart twist painfully at their words.

I stood outside the door once I got home, wiping away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling so I could go inside. I knew they would instantly know I wasn’t okay from my face alone but I at least wanted to put up a strong front and when I realised I couldn’t stop crying, I opened the door and rushed inside, ignoring their greetings and just went up to my room.

I could hear them call after me but I just wanted to be alone, I couldn’t let them see me like this. Locking my door, I lost the little strength I had left and collapsed on the floor, curling into a ball to at least comfort myself.

“Alari? Honey are you okay? Dinner’s ready” my mom’s voice came through the locked door and I couldn’t even bring myself to say anything back, it felt like an elephant had lodged it’s foot on my throat.

“Alari, sweetheart what’s wrong?” she asked again, this time twisting the door handle but it wouldn’t open.

“Alari” she called again and all I could do was cry, wanting nothing more than to rip my heart out.

“Come eat when you’re ready, okay?” she said and waited for bit before I heard her footsteps retreat from my door and I sunk into my darkness.

My eyes flew open, a wave of unbearable heat rocking through my body. Lifting my head to find my room dark, I wondered if I’d fallen asleep but before I could see what time it was, another wave of heat burnt through my heart, spreading across my body.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” the scream tore out of me just as I reached my bed and I felt as my knees buckled. What is happening? What is this?

“Mate…. Cheating” my wolf howled, the heat now a consistent burn, scotching me from within.

It took me a good minute to hear what my wolf had said and when I did; my heart broke all over again. As if rejecting me wasn’t enough, he had to inflict so much pain on me.

“Alari! Open the door!” my dad’s voice came, follow by banging on the door but I couldn’t move, I had no strength left in me, my body was burning and aching; and my wolf’s howling was echoing in my head.

I heard a crash and the door flew open, my parents rushing in.

My dad scooped me up from the floor and even though he placed me gently on the bed, my body felt like he had thrown me on concrete.

And when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, the burning got worse, my body boiling at this point and all I could do was cry, writhe and shake. Please, make it stop; I don’t want to feel this anymore! It needs to stop.

“Accept the rejection and get it over with!” his voice thundered in my head and I felt my soul tearing into two; but I knew I didn’t have a choice, this was the only way.

“I accept it” I’m not sure I even made a sound.

“What? Alari What are you saying?” mom asked, her voice cracking as she asked.

“I, Alari, of Silverlake pack accept Alpha Xavier King’s rejection!” I cried and almost immediately, the burning vanished, leaving only a dull ache in my chest and I heaved through my tears, feeling relief I thought far from me.

“What did you just say?!” my dad’s voice thundered but I couldn’t care less, my body numbing as the seconds ticked by was the only thing I could comprehend.

That’s it, it was over. The mate bond was gone, he was no longer my mate, it was all over.

The one person that was made to be mine didn’t want me, nobody wanted me, if it wasn’t for my parents, I probably would have been thrown out the pack.

How much more do I have to suffer at the hands of these heartless people? Could I even bare to watch my mate be happy knowing I would be miserable and alone forever?

No! I couldn’t, I wouldn’t!

I don’t know what the Goddess had planned for me but I knew for certain that staying here wasn’t it. I had to leave, this place could never be home, they’d actually celebrate when they learn of my disappearance.

As soon as I can, I’m leaving!