CHAPTER 4

ASHLEY'S POV

“Ashley” Uncle Micheal called from the hallway, he followed closely behind me as I walked down the hall, my heart was beating against my chest. I walked faster, hoping he would not catch on. I wasn't prepared to talk about this. Not after all that has happened.

“Ashley!” He called me again before grabbing my arm in a gentle way.

I turned to face him, pretending as if I had no knowledge of what this is all about. “

“Uncle Micheal, what is it? Do you need my help with anything?”

His eyes were filled with something I can't explain but I saw the guilt there, the same guilt I am still feeling for allowing myself to fall for his charms, which led my first experience to be a bitter one. He was about to say something, maybe he wanted to apologize or he's trying to explain. But I wouldn't let myself fall for it again.

“I would like us to talk about what happened last night. I know I hurt you and i..”

“Uncle Micheal, I interrupted him before he could finish. I don't know what you're talking about, Nothing happened last night. ”

I saw how his lips parted as if he wanted to say more, but. I couldn't let myself go down that road with him again. Not after last night.

“We both know that's not true. We need to talk about this, I know you are hurting and I feel bad about what I have done ” he said, coming closer, his voice pleading. “I didn't mean to treat you like that, you deserve better. I just didn't know how to...”

“No” I interrupted him again, “It doesn't matter, it's best we don't talk about it. My father must never know about this, so let’s forget it ever happened” I turned my face to the side slightly, hoping he would not see the tears in my eyes.

He was quite for a while, and for a second I thought he was going to leave me alone. But he stepped closer again.

“Ashley, please…please give me a chance to fix this.

“No”, I said again, My voice above a whisper.

“I said no, Uncle michael. I'm not going to let you apologize. Not after you abandoned me like that. I don't want to hear it. Just….Just leave me be.”

I whipped my head around to the side and was brushing my eyes as I hurried fast for the door which opened onto the garden.

But he wouldn't still leave me alone, I could feel his presence behind me.

“Ashley, please, I didn't even know it was you. you have to know how sorry I am.”

“Then leave me alone and stay sorry from afar.” I pushed the door open, the cold air rushing in, my breathing a bit stable now.

He was still there, Standing behind me but I couldn't fight him anymore, I couldn't confront him. His words was hanging in the air, troubling my mind ‘I never wanted to hurt you’

But I didn't want to forgive him. Not now or anytime soon.

The tears I had held back for a while at last overflowed within me, as I stood in the garden with my shoulders against the cold stone wall. I let myself fill up the silence, trying to breathe against the pain in my chest. I couldn't choose which hurt more, his lies or the fact that I couldn't manage to be furious with him.

“ You are still the same man I know, the same Uncle Micheal I remembered from my childhood, Nothing more. So let us keep it that way.”

I can't believe it will ever come to this between us. He was someone I respect a lot. He's like a father figure to me and I cared about him but he hurt me, he hurt me so badly and forgiveness is not something he could get overnight.

I looked at him for a brief moment and his eyes held a mixture of guilt and confusion, but it made no difference. I would not let him in. Not after he had left me that way, I had believed in him at that moment and he turned from me.

“I know Ashley but I just want to make sure you don't hate me.”he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. “I never should have left. I figured it would be simpler if I just left, but I was mistaken. I should have stayed, I should have made sure you were alright.”

I shook my head, trying to balance myself. “But you didn't. You just left me there, hurt and broken.”

The words were harder to say than I expected, saying them out loud was the same as ripping a bandage quickly from a wound. A wound I wasn’t ready to encounter. But I had to, For myself.

“Ashley, ” He tried to move closer again,

I took a step back, my heart beating faster.

“Don't come closer to me.” I said, my voice trembling now but I couldn't help it.

I caught the anguish flicker on his face and it tightened my chest. But I couldn't show him that I care. Not when it looked like my world was shattering into pieces around me, Not when every logical part of my body was screaming that I needed to protect myself.

“Ashley please” he pleaded again, his voice desperate "I just want to make things right, I never meant to hurt you, I didn't realise how much I had until…”

“Until it was too late” I interrupted him, the venom entering my voice. “ Yea I get it. But all I need right now is to be left alone with my thoughts.”

He looked at me with sadness in his eyes. “I don't know how to fix this, I just need you to forgive me. Your father must not find out about this. Best friend or not he will have my head for taking his daughter innocence, Just tell me what I can do to fix it.”

I swallowed hard, my chest tightened again. “You can't fix it.”

His eyes dropped to the ground, and for an instant I thought maybe he would get up and leave. But then his eyes refocused on mine and he spoke softly again. “I will leave you alone, but don't shut me out completely. I care about you Ashley. I just need you to understand that.”

I slowly shook my head, “ You still don't get it, do you? You don't get to care about me, Not after what you did.”

I could feel his eyes on me, I could hear the anguish in his voice and for a second, I felt sorry for him but I was hurting because of him. I couldn't let him see how his words were continuing to kill me from the inside. I just had to leave here.

As I was about to turn around, A very familiar Voice boomed from the doorway.

“Ashley, What's going on here?” We froze in place, exchanging a shock glance before quickly looking away.

“Dad”