(Mariana)
It was morning when I opened my eyes, trying to blink away the sleep. Memories of last night began flooding in and my face starts to heat up. The bed was soft and comfortable, and the sun was streaming through the window, casting a warm glow on the room.
I rolled over to my side and stare at Lorenzo who was still asleep. He looked so handsome in his sleep, his features were calm showing a vulnerable side of him I'd never seen before. I slowly stretch my hand out, reaching for his face.
The moment I touched him, his eyes flickered open staring back at me. I tried to retract my hand but he stopped me, he placed his hand at my back and pulled me closer. As Lorenzo pulled me close, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I wasn't sure what to expect from him, but I could not deny the chemistry between us.
He looked into my eyes, his gaze intense and unreadable. "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression last night," he murmured, his voice low and serious. "It was just a one-night thing, nothing more." My heart dropped. All my hopes and expectations of what could be between us crumbled to dust. I tried to act calm and collected, but deep down, I was a hot mess.
He slowly let go of my hand, got up and began to dress. "Wait what" I asked, sitting up. "What do you mean? So you're trying to tell me last night meant nothing to you at all?"
He ignored me and started buttoning up his shirt. I got up in annoyance putting on my shirt to cover up. "Lorenzo! I'm talking to you." I walked up to his face. I knew I shouldn't have acted like that but his words hit me deep.
I actually thought last night would have at least meant something to him. Lorenzo finished buttoning up his shirt and stared at me so coldly. All the emotions I witnessed but a moment ago are gone.
"Mariana,what happened last night was nothing serious. It was a one night stand, I'm sure you know what that means." He picked up his car keys and phones. "You're not the first to end up in my bed and I'm pretty sure you won't be the last so suck it up and stop being such a crybaby about it. Declan would take you back to the hostel once you're fully dressed" he said and with that he left the room without sparing me another glance.
"I understand," I whispered to him but he was already gone. I began to tremble slightly, fighting back the tears that were threatening to come. I slumped down on the bed trying to grasp the situation, trying to let all what he said sink in.
"You're not the first to end up in my bed and I'm pretty sure you won't be the last." Those words echoed in my head. A knock on the door jolted me out of my thoughts.
"Please get dressed quickly so we can be on our way." Declan said through the door. I slowly got up and began to get dressed. I couldn't believe I thought I meant something to Lorenzo. I should have known I was just setting myself up for heartbreak, I knew, but I just chose to ignore it all.
Tears began to slide down my cheeks,I wiped my tears and took a deep breath. I can't cry, not here, not now. I have to be strong. I walked to the bathroom and freshened up. Looking at the mirror I saw myself. A broken shell of myself. I turned on the tap and wash my face, the warm water streaming down my face. I grabbed a towel to dry my face, breathing in and out trying to compose myself.
Declan was waiting outside the room door. "Let's go" he ordered and led me out of Lorenzo's house. The drive back to the hostel was a calm one. Declan sang quietly along to the song playing on the radio while I was thinking of Lorenzo and what had happened. He used me, toyed with my feelings and when he was done, he dumped me. I was a fool for thinking otherwise.
"Mariana, where were you? You made me worried sick!" Janet exclaimed as she saw me walk through the door. I looked at her and smiled weakly. I didn't know how to tell her about Lorenzo. She sighed and looked at me in an understanding manner. She sat beside me on my bed and placed her arm over my shoulder. "You okay?" Janet asks with concern evident in her voice.
I needed this kind of comfort even though she probably thinks I spent the night with some asshole from the club. Tears were threatening to fall again but I closed my eyes pushing it back in. "I'm fine really" I said, with a forced smile. "You know how everything is, it's no big deal".
"Mariana," She says in a serious tone. "If something is bothering you, you can tell me. I hope you know that". I tried to shake off the sadness I'm feeling, but it was hard.
"It's nothing, I'm just tired," I said, trying to keep my smile in place. But Janet saw right through me. Maybe because she has been here for long, she knew what it felt like. "Mariana, you can tell me anything. I'm here for you," she said, placing a hand on my shoulder. I knew I could trust Janet, so I took a deep breath and tell her about what happened at Lorenzo's house. As I finished telling her, my eyes welled with tears.
She wrapped her arm around me and I cried into her shoulder "It's okay." She whispered stroking my hair. I felt a sense of relief as I finally let out all I have been holding in all morning. After a few minutes I pulled away from Janet and wiped away my tears.
"I'm sorry for falling apart like that, I'm usually not like that" I murmured with embarrassment.
"Don't be. It's okay to feel things. Especially in a place like this, you can't keep all your feelings bottled up, it hurts a whole lot more when you do" Janet said, smiling at me. "Buuut...." She began, smiling mischievously at me. "How did you manage to get the great Lorenzo McLaren in your arms for a night?"
" What"? I replied giggling. She just had to go there.
"I mean it, Marianna" She said, moving closer to me. " You've only been here for how many months and you've already had him. I've been here for years and all I could ever do was stare and daydream" She sighed dramatically, lying down on my bed. I let out a laugh when she dragged me down with her.
"Tell me your secret,you little witch" She started to tickle me. I began to laugh uncontrollably.
" I.... don't.... know!!!!, Janet!!!" I screamed, trying to hold back my tears while laughing really hard .
The room was filled with our laughter as we rolled around the bed, breathless from all the tickling. Finally, we both collapsed on the bed, catching our breath. "Wow, I haven't had this much fun in a while," Janet said with a big smile on her face.
"Me too, it feels good to let loose and have some fun." I said, smiling back at her.
We laid there for a few minutes in silence,basking in the afterglow of our laughter. My mind drifted back to Lorenzo, My thoughts drifted back to his warm embrace and soft lips, but I shook myself out of my reverie. I couldn't get attached to Lorenzo, it was just a fling, nothing more, nothing less. But I couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling in my chest. I couldn't let my heart get involved, but I also couldn't deny the attraction I felt towards him. I felt so conflicted, caught between my head and my heart.
I was snapped back to reality by Janet's voice. "Hey, get up. Don't forget we're on cleaning duty today, we have to head to the club."
"Oh no! I totally forgot about that," I groaned, sitting up quickly. "We better get a move on, we don't want to get into trouble with Margot." Janet said, standing up and stretching. I followed suit, feeling a little disoriented. We grabbed our cleaning supplies and head out to the bar.
At work, my thoughts kept drifting back to Lorenzo, no matter how hard I tried to focus.My mind kept wandering back to the night before. The feel of his lips on mine, the way his arms wrapped around me, the way he made me feel like the only person in the world. I couldn't shake what I felt for him no matter how much I tried. My thoughts were distracted by Margot who snuck up to me.
"Where's your head at? She asks me.
"Huh, I didn't hear you clearly."I replied gloomily.
"I said!" She yelled in my face. "Where's your head at, you've been on this same spot for the past thirty minutes."
I took a deep breath, trying to regain my composure. "I'm sorry, I was just lost in thought," I apologized, not wanting to reveal the real reason I was so distracted.
"Well, stop being such a daydreamer and get back to work," Margot sneered, turning on her heel and walking away. I sighed, knowing that the rest of my shift was going to be long and hard. I shook off thoughts of Lorenzo and tried to focus on the task at hand.
Night came and the club was packed as usual. I hardly had time to catch my breath because I was running around.
"Mariana, we have an order for table 12 upstairs, they'd like two glasses of champagne, a bottle of merlot and an order of calamari," I heard Samantha yell over the crowd. I grabbed the order pad and scribbled down the details, my mind racing as I tried to keep track of everything. I head towards the bartender.
"Hey, you got an order for table 12?" I asked, waving the order pad at him. "Yup, let me just grab the wine," he said, rushing over to the fridge. I watched him as he grabbed the champagne and the merlot, his movements quick and efficient.
He handed me the bottles and I headed upstairs, navigating through the crowd, balancing the drinks carefully. I could feel the adrenaline rushing through me, I tried to stay calm and focused. I made it to table 12, and took a deep breath before I approached the table. I placed the tray down and served the drinks. Just as I was about to leave I spotted Lorenzo, staring at me.
My heart stopped as our eyes met. I felt frozen in place, my breath caught in my throat. I couldn't look away from him, no matter how hard I tried.
I reminded myself about what happened between us and forced myself to snap out of it. Lorenzo breaks away from the gaze first and focuses his attention on the woman beside him.
The woman was beautiful, her skin perfect and her hair glossy. She was laughing at something Lorenzo said, and he was smiling at her. I felt a pang of jealousy as I watched them. I clear my throat and headed back downstairs in anger.
The rest of the night went on the same. Once my shift was over I went back to the hostel to try to get some sleep before tomorrow but I couldn't. I tossed and turned, unable to get the image of Lorenzo and that woman out of my mind. But no matter how much I tried it was no use. I sighed and sit up on the bed staring out the little window in my room wondering if Lorenzo would spend the night with the lady from the bar.
(Lorenzo)It’s been two months. Two whole months of peace. The best two months of my fucking life. I had never felt peace the way I’ve felt in the past months.I lay on the bed cuddling with her. Our legs entwined as she runs her hand across my chest.“I want to tell you something babe.” She sits up and moves a bit further from me. Missing her touch immediately, I scoot over, closer to her and she moves away. This sends signals to me immediately. “What’s wrong? Did something happen? Did I do something wrong?” Fear grips me as I wonder what I could have done wrong to hurt her. Instead of making assumptions in my head and overthinking, I allow her to feel comfortable enough to say whatever it is. Resolving that I will try my very best to make her happy again. “I’ve been keeping something from you for a while now. I’ve been so scared to open up and if I had told you before leaving, I’m pretty sure I’d have regretted it. But now I’ve been thinking and I feel like I’m in trouble and I hav
(Lorenzo) I watch as she enters the car and leaves. There goes the one person I ever hoped to love. There’s nothing else I can do but watch her slip away from me as the car takes her further than my eyes could see. I’ve been successful at many things, but given my profession, it is no surprise that I’ve failed at love. The thought of entering my car and chasing after her rushes through my mind but I dismiss it immediately. She has to go. Staying would get her killed and I cannot bear to see that. Instead, I decide to drive to the club and get me a drink. Nothing helps better than a bottle of bourbon down my throat while wallowing in self pity. I dare Gio to come yammering about how this is going to lead to our ruin. I enter my car and begin the long drowning drive to the club, all the while trying not to dwell on the scent of her on the passenger sit. This is going to be a long year. I might as well change my car, having it sprayed won’t do me any good. I’d still look at the pass
(Mariana)"Are you all set?" Lorenzo and I are standing in front of a mall where he spent all the time shopping clothes and various other accessories for me like shoes and jewelries and all those stuff.In my hand, I hold the suitcase that has all the clothes we bought and in his hands, he carries two shopping bags where the rest of the things are contained."I'm ready." I reply."Okay. I've also sent some money into your account as well. Only a quarter of it, the sum of your salary.""For working only a day in your club?" I cover my mouth as if it helps to reduce my chuckle."It wasn’t for free, was it?" He smiles, joining in on the amusement."Thank you." I say and hug him. "I didn't think I'll say this, but I'll miss you." I feel his hands circle around me and there's so much tenderness in the way his hand rests around my waist and back."I'll miss you, too." Then, he stops a taxi for me and I get in, waving him goodbye. His eyes are watery with tears but I think I've imagined it a
(Mariana)"Lorenzo, why are you back?"Lorenzo walks towards me like every others and checks for my temperature. "I heard you were sick and I couldn't wait any longer." He confesses, his voice edged with worry.His statement marvels me. "Was your business trip not that important that you will return the same day instead of in three days?"You're more important to me, Mariana. Than anything else in this world right now, and I can't seem to ignore that fact."My cheeks redden and I gather all the strength in me not to smile, but it's futile and I simply hide my face by looking down at my laps as a result of feeling bashful. "I don't understand." My voice is low and my cheeks are hot. "I thought you said you don't want a wife.""But I want you, Mariana." He answers, fast and sits down next to me to glide fingers through my hair, massaging gently and tracing tender lines.An electrifying jolt runs through my skin uncontrollably in response and I lean into him, resting my head on his shoul
(Lorenzo) “Gio, call the boys. Gather as much as you can. They have to be with Mariana 24/7. She’s in danger as long as she’s with me and until I find the fucker who’s responsible for this, I need to know that she’s safe.” “ I warned you, this was bound to happen sooner or later. You know how these things end up. You should have let her go when she had the chance to escape. She would have died today, and what would you have done? Wage war on whoever did this? What then? Does that bring her back? Then you’d wallow in self pity, your rivals will see your point of weakness and take us all down.” “What the fuck Gio! You think I don’t know that? Yes I know it’s all my fault and she’s in there terrified and possibly traumatized because of me. I knew she was not meant for this life but still I’ve been selfish about it. Hell I found the fucker who killed her parents and I’m still hiding it because I cannot let her go! So I don’t need you to tell me things I already know. Instead, you can
(Mariana)I wake up to find myself crying on the bed and curled up in a way that felt as though I could fit inside a little box. I'm hugging my knees to my chest and I'm thinking about last night. Everything is forcing me to demolish my love for Lorenzo.Can I not love someone in peace? And why did it have to be him? Fine, he had a good reason not to want a wife and child, but it was beginning to get clear that he had feelings for me, also because why the hell was he going through such lengths for me? The talk about him willing to marry me, discreetly?I shake my head to myself. No, no, no, it didn't change the fact that his life was a risk to mine. I could have been shot alongside with him last night and that could have been the worst part. It could have been at my stomach and I would have been bleeding seriously. I would have lost the baby in the most horrible way possible. And what not next? My death.I would have died last night. I still can't shake the feeling off. The feeling of