CHAPTER 50

I don't know for how long have I been laying here by John's bed. It might been around 8 pm because it was already dark outside. I haven't looked at my phone, maybe someone called me, maybe not. I haven't felt nor pain, hunger, nothing. I was numb. I don't care. All I can care now is that John will be ok. He has to wake up.

Don't get me wrong, I have feelings for Mike. We are still together, I think. I don't know to be honest. Maybe it was stupid of me or cliché to expect maybe a nice and warm welcome from my boyfriend after all those years we haven't seen each other. Maybe I was stupid to expect he will be waiting for me at an airport or in my apartment. Maybe I was stupid to think he misses me, he wants to be with me. Maybe.

"Fucked up." I said angrily wipping my tears off my face. I don't know how long I've been crying. Maybe my expectations were too high.

Maybe Hannah was right. I can't expect people's feeling won't get changed after I leave. It wasn't months. It was years. But wha