Chapter 4 A Beta’s Burden

I inadvertently meet the girl's eyes. I get chills when I notice glimmers of hope in the little kid's eyes as she speaks to me. She is gazing at me as if I am some kind of beacon of hope for her, which makes me feel uneasy.

“Are you here to save me? Did my father send you?” She asks me.

At first, I was confused about why she was speaking to me without fear or hesitation, but then I just remembered that she must not have thought of me as a part of the lycan pack because I lack their physical qualities. My blue eyes and rounded ears must have made her think that I am human, just like her.

No wonder the alpha wants me to get involved in this, but this is a child in front of me. What does he want me to do with her…?

Human or not, I am not comfortable with lying to a child, much less use a kid, even if it is for the sake of our pack. 

I have a hard time finding my voice when I try to reply to her.

“I-...I brought these to you. Hurry and eat before…the wolves return.” I avert my gaze and quickly set the food and drink on the floor near her. I can barely look at her. I may be known as cruel and merciless in the pack, but that isn’t the same when it comes to kids. It’s just wrong. Just think of the trauma that she must be in after this.

“M-Miss, what about my father? How is he? When are we going to leave?” Her shaken voice only makes me feel more awful than I already am.

I let out a breath through my lips, masking them from trembling. “It’s okay. I will return later.” I give her the best smile that I can muster, but I was never too good at doing that, so I have no idea what I looked like at that moment, but I can confidently tell her, “I promise,” because it is not a lie. I plan to see the alpha after this and ask him to reconsider this plan. “What’s your name?”

“Holly.”

“Well, Holly. Be sure to eat properly so your father won’t be worried. Be good while I am gone, okay? Tell me if someone bothers you.” My heart breaks for the little girl. She looks so thin, unlike the last time that I saw her back with the humans - back with her father.

“Okay.” She nods timidly and starts to eat.

I take that as my cue to leave so she can eat peacefully. Once I reach the outside of the dungeon, I am surprise to see that the Alpha is still there waiting. I get nervous when I approach him.

“Alpha.” I stop right in front of him and bow my head.

“That was quick.” He says while furrowing his brow, which suggests that he is either impressed or doubtful. “What did you learn from the prisoner.”

“She is a child.” I start to say, earning a low growl from the Alpha.

“Yes, that part is already kind of obvious. Don’t you think that you have any more useful information aside from that?” He says impatiently.

“Isn’t there another way that we can do this, Alpha? Using a child is-”

“She’s human!” He yells at me, making me jump in response. “Child or not, we are going to use any means necessary to ensure our pack’s survival, or have you forgotten about that? A day hasn’t even passed, and yet you waver at this simple task. Do you wish to resign your position?! Just let me know if you wish to resign.” There’s a low warning growl at the back of his throat.

“No! I mean, of course not, Alpha.” I quickly say. 

Quitting as the pack’s beta even though I just got the position is out of the question! There’s no way that I am losing this job. I can just imagine the mockery that would follow if word got out that I had been fired so quickly. I don’t even think that I will be any more welcome in the pack as I was before. I would be a joke!

“Good. It seems like you remember your place.” The alpha straightens up, looking down at me like he is done arguing. “Go back home and get some rest. You must just be fatigued from your fight earlier.”

“Thank you for your generosity, Alpha.”

“At sunrise tomorrow, you will give me your answer if you still want to be on this task or whether you wish to resign.” 

I can’t answer him. I am rooted to this place and can only watch his back as he leaves.

In my mind, I know that this is my duty as the pack’s beta, but in my heart I know that this is wrong.

***

When I got home, my father was there to greet me the moment that I entered our cave. He cooked me my favorite dish, savory lamb chops that he wrapped in a leaf to steam. He has a joyful look on his face when he offers it to me, but one look at my face immediately told him that something was bothering me.

“Belle, what’s wrong?” He follows me as I take a seat on one of the stools in our cave.

I let out a long sigh and shook my head. “This has always been my dream; to be someone important to the pack. I want to prove to everyone that I am strong, even when my wolf is not like the others.”

“But you are already here. You have proven yourself to be the strongest. What makes you still feel like you are not enough?” My father blinks when I start to look away. Then he crosses his arms over his chest, looking angry. “Is it young lord Maxwell again? Is he still asking you to become his mate? I swear that child is just filling your head with self doubt!”

I chuckle at his outburst. “No, dad. Maxwell may be annoying, but his words and promises no longer bother me. It’s different this time.” My voice falls as soon as I remember the little girl back in the dungeon. 

“It’s so different that you can’t tell me what it is?”

I nod. The girl is supposed to be a secret. I feel like I am already failing my part as the pack’s new Beta, so I am not about to spill about the girl, even when it is to my father.

“I see. Can you at least tell me how you feel?”

I thought about it for a moment, planning on how to turn my emotions and troubles into words that would reveal what I had seen. 

“Dad, what if you are asked to do something that you know is wrong, but you can’t fully follow your judgement because of your responsibilities?”

My father places a hand on his chin. “I see, so this is a matter of morality and responsibility.” I nod. He lets out a breath. “Well, if that is the case, then I would figure out something that would compromise both sides. Make a third option. Who says that you only have two choices? My dear, we live in the real world. There will always be more than two choices.”

I stare at my father while I let the weight of his words settle in. He’s right. Why did I even think that there’s only two choices in the first place? I feel so stupid.

“Thanks, dad.” I smile at him, probably one of the most genuine smile that I have since I became the beta. “You really other the best advice.”

“And I also have the best lamb chops!” He hands me the leaf covered dish before taking the other chair. Before we start to eat, my father adds. “Belle, no one says that fitting in would be easy, but you don’t always have to let go of your morals just to catter the others. Whatever you decide, always know that I will fully support you.” His smile and his words has been and will always untangle the numerous knots of doubts and fear in my heart.

“I’ll keep that in mind. And thank you for the lovely meal.” I grin before my father and I started to eat.

As long as the child is safe and as long as we have the means to save our pack, everything will be alright.

Maybe I can build a bridge between the two sides. Maybe I can let the humans understand that lycans are not a threat. Maybe I can show them that we are just as civilized as them. 

But to do that, I need someone to help me get over the human border; someone who can let me talk to the higher ups and make them understand that there is a possibility for the lycans and humans to coexist - and if not, I can just go to plan B; learn about their techniques and secrets to use it against them. 

Unfortunately, there’s one major component for my plan to work: I would need to return Holly to her father.