Chapter 017

TALIA

"What?" I whispered, blinking.

The professor repeated his question.

"I need to know if you are being abused in any way by your parents," he added.

"I don't understand. Why would you suddenly be interested in that?"

Patiently, he explained, "I ask because it is the only explanation that fits. The one that makes sense. You have spoken before about having no one on your side, about being all alone in this world."

I have got Ruby, I wanted to say. Only that would sound lame, and wouldn't it also prove I had a family only in name?

"Also the day I found you in the woods..."

I started a little. This was the first time ever Cassian was referring to our meeting in the woods.

When I had asked him about it,, he had neither accepted or denied it. And that day had already begun to seem like a dream.

"...It looked like you were running away, from home maybe. You were crying too just before you fell unconscious. Also... if there is any kind of abuse going on at your home, it would explain why your sister bullies you. Because that is what is going on, isn't it? She picks on you here at school... at home. Your mother, maybe even your father allows it for some reason." Cassian's voice lowered, softened.

I had been staring down at his blotter. Now I composed my features and looked up at him, rubbing my arm just for something to do with my hands.

He was examining my face, his eyes unreadable. He leaned slightly foward, both hands clasped on the desk, his manner inviting me to share confidences.

"Talk to me," he urged.

"Why? What difference will it make?"

Cassian inhaled sharply, leaned back and blinked several times. A look of mild surprise crossed his features.

"So I am right," he said, speaking half to himself. "You are having trouble at home."

"I do not ask these questions out of idle curiousity," Cassian went on after a long beat of silence. "Please remember that as your teacher, it is also my job to-"

"You are asking me all this just so you can report to the authorities, right? My advice, professor, is that you just drop it." The instant I said that, I noticed the stubborn tilt of his chin. "You have to. It's not as if you have any evidence that I was abused anyway. There are no physical marks on my body. All of them are here where no one can't see." I pressed a palm over my heart.

"At least we can start by talking about it."

I was shaking my head before he had finished speaking. "No. Nothing can be done when one's own parents are wicked and cruel. I have long accept my fate."

Staring into his eyes, I found what I feared there. Pity. Along with something else.

But it was the pity that stood out for me. A lump rose in my throat and I forced it back down.

"I do not need your pity," I choked out. "So please stop looking at me like I'm your next charity project. I'm tough. I can take care of myself. I have been doing it all these years without anyone's help."

"What are you talking about?" he asked softly. "All I am doing is trying to-"

"Help? Why? Wait no, don't answer that. You only took an interest in me because you found out about my family treating me badly. You are just doing this so you can go to bed at night thinking yourself as a good, decent person. You don't really care about me. You never have. I told you I needed you many times and you warned me to stay away. Now you arrive like a knight in shining armour to what? Save me from the monsters?"

"Miss Westwood-" he began, his voice sharpening.

"Oh... have I overstepped, Professor Lennox? I will let you get back to more important things now."

I rose stiffly, headed for the door.

"Don't go... please..."

I turned to see the professor had half risen from his chair, his hand stretched out as though to keep me back.

"Listen," he said. "I can help you. I can stop whatever is happening at your home, but how on earth am I supposed to do that if you won't even talk to me about it? If I do not know the details, then my hands are tied. Do you understand that?"

"Yes, and I want you to understand this. I cannot open up to someone who is not my mate."

I saw a spasm of guilt cross his face and I felt a burst of satisfaction. It was very short lived.

He called me again. I did not turn around this time. I walked out of the office, leaving his door ajar.

********

The one person I wanted to get away from was waiting for me just at the bend of the corridor. I saw her when it was too late to turn back and go the other way.

She grabbed my shoulder and pushed me against the wall, though not hard enough to hurt this time. Apparently she did not want to get in Cassian's bad books again.

"Well? How did it go? Did you speak to the professor?" she asked.

"I did."

Tessa leaned forward until our faces were almost touching. "And?"

"He won't change his mind."

Her jaw went slack with surprise.

"What?" she exclaimed, a crease appearing between her brows. "Did you tell him what mum said that you are too busy to have a tutor?"

"Yes," I sighed, my shoulders slumping.

"You dumb bitch," Tessa hissed,her eyes narrowing into slits. "I don't believe you. I'm sure you didn't try hard enough. After all you didn't want to do it this morning."

I squeezed my eyes shut briefly, dragged in a deep breath.

"If you have a problem with the professor's answer, then take it up with him and leave me alone," I said, opening my eyes and fixing Tessa with a glare.

Tessa's face reddened. A pulse was beating rapidly in her throat.

"You must think this is a fucking joke!" she said. "I swear I wil make you pay for this. I'll tell mum and dad to transfer to another school. You won't get to hang out with your stupid friend anymore. And maybe with you gone, the professor will finally see sense."

Tessa stormed past, her shoulder knocking me back into the wall as she passed even though there was a lot of room in the hallway.

Again I closed my eyes, leaned against the wall, breathed deeply, listening to the sound of my sister's departing footsteps. I was so damn tired of everything, so drained, so exhausted.

A minute later, or maybe it was five, I began to shuffle my way over to the girl's toilet. It was mercifully empty.

I went into a stall, shot the bolt, sat on the toilet seat and buried my face in my hands.

Why did Cassian only show the humane side of him only when I was in trouble? Would it kill him to treat me nicely all the time?

Maybe I was a little desperate to get his attention. But if I could only get that attention through his pity, then I would do without it!

The outer door of the toilet banged open. A group of girls came in, talking.

As I started to reached for the bolt, I heard the faucet come on and a girl talking over another say, "She has a crush on Professor Cassian. I'm telling you! I heard she has been fishing for private information about him."

"It's true," another girl chipped in. "Yesterday Sonia told me that Tessa was asking Professor Anna after class if Professor Cassian lived closeby. I bet she'll try to get him to screw her if the professor ever invited her to his house."

Someone snorted. "As if! Tessa doesn't stand a chance. The man keeps to himself."

A door opened, closed. A toilet flushed and a third girl said, "That Tessa is a slut. I heard she even took her sister's mate."

"Ethan?"

"Who else?" said the girl who had just spoken a little impatiently.

"She's going around with Ethan and now she wants Professor Cassian? What a-"

I opened the door, making as much noise as I could. Four heads swivelled in my direction. The girls paled.

One of them nudged the other with her elbow whispering, "Oh. It's just Talia."

There was a collective sigh of relief. A couple of them giggled.

"We didn't know you were there, Talia," the girl in front said and smiled.

"We are on your side. You know that, right?" another girl said. "Your sister..." She stopped, sighed and shook her head. "There are no words for what she is."

Shouldering my backpack, I marched past them, saying stiffly, "Spreading gossip about my twin sister does not mean you are on my side."

I walked out.