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HER
Rayna Harrington
I wept sadly like my bruised skin—beatings from my mom were usually worst than now. As I remained sat while she just did the unthinkable, I thought about my life in a broader, more crystalline picture. My cries simmered down when she finished, hugging my knees and trying not to show her my weakness. This was the calamitous parts of life – parts where I just wanted to stand out from the different oceans of all types of people, but according to my mom, it was sinful and unwelcomed in her family.
The contentment of how it felt to hold my secret gold microphone I had spent my savings on was indescribable; it was simply the epitome of pure
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"Mommy, why can't I be professional pianist already?" I said while I swiftly trailed my soft fingers along the piano keys."Darling, it takes time, a professional isn't easy." She advised as she stroked my blonde locks when I continued to play."I want to apply to Julliard one day," I spoke and she hummed to the music I was playing."I have faith in you, baby." She believed my talent would go somewhere far in the world. I was a pianist, who played her heart out in every key I pressed, it was almost I could touch other hearts when I play."Mom, you'll be here with me?" I asked in the empty music room at Michigan school. Her stormy eyes softened at me like a silent promise as she trailed her finge
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"Fuck, I said pass me the blunt," I ordered furiously at the dark alleyway beside my house to the man beside me. The wind was irritating my body and my hair kept going in my face. The man was still focusing on rolling his weed."No, don't beat him, please!" Mom pleaded as she watched me get emotionally destroyed with each whipping."Come on!" I huffed as memories tugged at the core of my mind.He was done and gave me my favorite blunt; cocaine. I smoked it, swaying myself as I inhaled my daily dose of this drug. All life disappeared and I was on a great high, all the way up on cloud nine."Get away from her." I rocked myself with my hands on the sides of my ears.My
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The soothing finger brushes my hand had played on the piano was like an electric stroke to my heart as the emotions came to life and whirled around me. I was here in my second home, Michigan school. They had the music room open from the morning till the evening and it was all for me, the black grand piano was there for me and for my mother, who died promising me that she could watch me play. She was a no-show and dad had to tell me that she died when I was seven years old, playing on the same piano."You're still here." Alexa Jones whined at me. I flushed red as she pestered me about having the social life everyone was in. Aside from my insecurity that differentiated me from the gorgeous brunette that was my best friend, she was there for me when my mom was gone, we were kindergarten best friends and remained to be, even in our senior year. She had a bright big dimple on her left tanned
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The memories blended in with the melodies of the piano earlier. When I took a seat lazily at the end of each class, I stared out of the window."Mommy, dad ripped my books and the teacher got angry at me." My lip trembled."All will be well, honey." She sighed as she talked to the teacher over the phone.My eyes sensed the arrival of the girl from earlier entered the room, I could tell she was trying to imagine that I wasn't there with her in the room and I got the message loud and clear. She was a show off when she played the piano and it was like the sounds danced around her. There was something unknown about her that aggravated me, I could tell by her constant head shaking and the way her eyes looked to the side in anxiety.
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"Don't you ever get tired?" Mrs. Davidson inquired softly at the empty room that had been a lovely company with my piano play collection for the winter ball."No, I'm fine." I smiled when she walked in front of my piano and smiled back. She was the one who kept encouraging me to keep playing even after my mom died, it was my therapy.I was destined to keep playing as the passionate hunger kept increasing within me when I grew up.It was an escape from the amber-eyed guy I had seen. I had been thinking a lot about him, he gave off the scary face and the haunting past vibes but it only made my curious side appear even more. Every time I stopped now, I would start thinking about him so I instantly focused more on the piano keys, the guy faded into the back of my mind.
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"Mommy, why is he beating you all the time?" I said, hands shivering around the thin quilt."Because even love is in the form of darkness." She said back with a smile as we both were locked up in the room."Where were you, kid?" My dad yelled as he shoved me to the couch. I laughed at his surprising question, he never asked unless he wanted me to take another blonde fuck for him."Walking." I hissed as my back ached from the rough push. My dad had good aim. He was always like that around me and my mom, he never loved her.The foul smoke erupted everywhere in the small apartment. We only had one living room where dad slept and my tiny room since dad liked to spend more on prostitutes and drinks.
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I was aware that I had been staring at him quite a few times when he would go to his lectures or smoked in the empty hallways. It was the lunch break and I had to go practice but something allured me to enter the cafeteria."Is this real?" Alexa's eyes broadened when she saw me, I blushed as her friends guarded me with their eyes, "no way, it's the first time you come to the cafeteria." She gasped and I gave a smile to everyone before sitting next to Alexa, who was too busy gaping at me."Don't be dramatic," I flatly said as my eyes assessed the red and white stripes on the walls of the cafeteria, "and I will practice more after school," I added just for her info."That means you can always come here during lunch breaks?" Her eyes widely sparkled at me.
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I didn't know. Something about the way she played made the deepest of my fears alive. Maybe it was how at ease she was with everyone or the way she closed her eyes as her delicate fingers consumed the piano like it was her own favorite miracle. That scared me because whenever I looked into her soft green eyes, I had to know everything that she did and felt; it was like we were connected by unbreakable strings. I couldn't get enough but something inside of me told me that I shouldn't have let her in because love was like killing yourself slowly. I loved my mom but she left, so I was biased about love.She stopped playing and took a deep breath as if she was afraid to speak to me. It was something about the aura I radiated around her but my colored eyes couldn't leave hers. It was like our eyes were interlocked into an attraction phase that made the whole world around us stop.
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