004

HEIDI’s pov

For three years I had built my life around a man who never cared about me. The realization hurt. I decided within me that I was finally done with letting Jace use me anymore.

At the clinic my colleague caught me staring at his latest scan for too long. “Are you even listening?”

I blinked. “Sorry. I’m fine.”

She laughed. “You always say that.”

The scan showed the injury healing well. I should have felt relieved. I felt nothing. My phone vibrated.

Jace: Where are you Heidi?.

I locked the screen without answering. An hour later at the training facility he was already waiting. The moment he saw me his eyes narrowed.

“You didn’t answer my messages.”

“I was working, Jace.”

“You always reply.”

I opened my bag. “Sit down.”

He didn’t move. “You’re angry with me. You’ve barely spoken in three days.”

“I’ve been busy.”

“You’re treating me like a stranger.”

I almost laughed. “Aren’t I?”

He caught my wrist. “You don’t get to shut me out.”

I looked at his hand until he released me. Something that looked like regret flickered across his face and vanished.

“What really changed, Heidi? You've never been like this.”

I scoffed. “I realized I was wasting my time waiting for you to notice me or to remember I’m your wife. You never did. So I’m done waiting.”

His jaw clenched. “You knew what this marriage was when you agreed to it. I never promised you love.”

“I know. I made the mistake of falling in love with you anyway.”

He went completely still.

“I never expected you to love me back,” I said quietly. “That’s the problem, Jace. I don’t expect anything from you anymore.” I closed the bag. “I’m leaving your house soon.”

He stood. “You’re not leaving. We have an agreement and we're married.”

“I’ve finished my degree. Your career is stable. You have Maya back. Our deal is done.”

His eyes darkened. “This has nothing to do with Maya.”

“Maybe not for you. For me it has everything to do with realizing I’ll never be the woman you choose.”

Jace tried to touch my face but I pushed his hand off. “It's fine. I'll be fine.” I said, fighting back the tears forming in my eyes. Then without saying anything, I left the room, my eyes failing me as tears streamed out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that evening, I packed my things. I was still staring at them when the bedroom door opened. Jace’s gaze went straight to the bags. “What are you doing?”

“Packing.”

“I told you you’re not leaving.”

“And I told you I am. I’m finally being honest. This isn’t about Maya. It’s about you.” I zipped the second suitcase. “I don’t want your money anymore. I want a life where I don’t have to beg my husband to treat me like his wife.”

Jace stepped forward. “We agreed this wasn’t a real marriage.”

“Then maybe it’s time we stop pretending it is.” I grabbed my luggages, and I reached for the door, ignoring the voices in my head telling me to stay.

Jace's hand held my arms and he pulled me back gently. “Please don’t go tonight.”

My hope for him rose for one foolish second. Then I remembered everything I've been through for his sake. How I'd managed my feelings overtime. I dragged my luggage, he had no choice but to free my arm.

I was halfway down the stairs when I heard his footsteps.

“Heidi, stop.”

I turned. “Why does it suddenly matter that I’m leaving? You’ve spent three years telling me this marriage means nothing.”

“You’re crying.”

I touched my cheek, surprised by the tears, and wiped them away. “I’m allowed to cry.”

He stepped closer. “You don’t have to leave.”

“I do.” I set the suitcase down. “I love you. I’ve loved you longer than I should have. I knew this started as a deal. I accepted that you didn’t love me. But I kept hoping things might change. I learned everything about you—when your knee hurts, how you hate medication, the way you can’t sleep when you’re injured because you’re terrified it’ll end your career. I know everything. You never tried to know me.”

He looked away. “You knew there were no promises.”

“Yes. I just thought you might eventually want me.”

The silence that followed told me everything.

I nodded. “That’s what I thought. I’m filing for divorce.”

His eyes hardened. “No. We're not. Heidi, you’re emotional.”

“I’ve never been more certain. You’re the one who taught me our marriage could end whenever it stopped being useful.”

He stepped in front of me. “Stay tonight. Just tonight.”

“Why?”

His eyes searched mine. “I don’t know.”

The honesty almost broke me. “That’s the problem. You don’t know what you want.”

He released my hand. I picked up the suitcase again. I reached for the door. He moved toward me. For several seconds we simply stood there, the space between us smaller than it had ever been. Then he lifted his hand and touched my cheek, thumb brushing away a tear.

His gaze dropped to my lips. I should have stepped away. Instead I stayed. He leaned in.

The kiss was hesitant at first, almost uncertain. Then everything we had spent three years suppressing broke loose.

I gripped the front of his shirt. He pulled me closer, deepening the kiss until I could taste the quiet desperation in it. His hands slid down my back, drawing me against his body.

When we finally broke apart, both of us breathing hard, he rested his forehead against mine.

“This doesn’t change anything,” I whispered.

“I know.”

“You still don’t love me.”

He didn’t answer. That silence hurt, but when he kissed me again I didn’t pull away. He carried me back up the stairs, never fully breaking contact, and into the bedroom we had never shared.

He took off his shirt, tossed my blouse off, caressing my body using the tip of his fingers against my skin as he unclasped my bra. Every touch felt almost as if he was memorizing me.

He laid me down on the sheets and followed, the warm weight of him settling over me.

His mouth traced a path along my neck, across my collarbone, lower still until I arched into him with a soft moan I couldn’t hold back.

When he finally pushed inside me it was slowly filling me completely. I wrapped my arms around him, my fingers pressing into the strong muscles of his back as he began to move.

Our bodies collided, his eyes stayed on mine the entire time. One of his hands found mine and laced our fingers together against the pillow.

“Fuck, Heidi..” he groaned into my ear, pushing into me deeply. I could hear the wet slap of our thighs. And right now, I only wanted to live in the moment.

“Ahh… mmm…” I moaned.

Jace kissed my breast, carefully suckling on one of my hardened nipples. His hand grabbed my waist. I contorted to his rhythm, letting him fill me in as we came undone.

~

Afterward we lay tangled together in the dark, his arm draped over my waist, my head resting against his chest. For once he looked peaceful in sleep. My fingers traced his chest.

Tonight, for the first time, he held me like he didn’t want to let go.

I slipped out of bed quietly while he still slept, dressed, and gathered the last of my things. At the door I looked back one final time at the man I loved—the man I was finally leaving.

Then I closed the door behind me and didn’t look back.