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His eyes betraying nothing but indifference. Yes, I’d like to use your body for a month, but it wouldn’t bother me too much whether you stayed or went.But my hands are shaking with terror.Not fear of him, but of my own unnatural desire for him. It’s the kind of craving I’ve never known before. Until now I never suspected there could be such a need for another human being. A stranger.Of course, I love Nigel. I love him deeply. My love for him feels as warm and comfortable as an old blanket. Makes me safe. I know I can trust that love to last until I am grey and wrinkled.What I feel for this cold-eyed monster is raw and dangerous. Even from where I am standing I can feel the waves of sexual tension coming from him. Like heat from the Mediterranean sun. Heating up my blood. Making me feel hot and strange.One kiss?I’m already hanging on to the edge of the cliff by my fingernails. Barely ableRelated chapters
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Star Standing next to Celine, I rifle through the small collection of outfits.There are seven items, and I can tell even without looking at the labels that they are all uberexpensive. It is also quickly apparent that they are all extremely sexy. A mix of plunging necklines, backless designs, daring slits.There is a beautiful silver mini dress that Rosa would love, and a clinging, silk pantsuit I wouldn’t be caught dead in, but there is also a long, black dress with a deep-plunge, wraparound halterneck.“Great choice. Very classy,” Celine approves. I undress quickly.“You won’t be able to wear a bra with this.I ditch my bra, and pull the daring dress up over me. Celine ties it at the back of my neck, then comes around the front to stand a couple of feet in front of me.“It suits you perfectly,” she says with a satisfied nod.Then, she crouches down on the floor, and pulls out a shoe box fr
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His gaze locks on mine. In the cluster of lamplights by the stairs, his eyes glow like a wolf’s. He doesn’t move or say anything. Just looks at me. I feel it then. How completely isolated he is. Like those strange twisted, gnarled trees that grow on barrenwastelands. They get their nourishment from deep within the earth so they have no need for anyone or anything.Suddenly, I feel unsteady on my feet.I grip the banister and carefully, continue on my journey down.As I reach the third step from the bottom I come level with him. Something flickers in his hooded eyes. He has secrets. Rooms of them. Rooms I can never enter.He reaches out a hand and touches the skin of my stomach. Desire snakes down my spine, the hair on my skin stands, and my whole body comes alive. I have to fight not to reveal how affected I am by that simple touch. I inhale deeper, and without meaning to I breathe him in, the scent of his cologne, the warmth of his skin
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His voice is polite and his eyes glitter, but I don’t care. “Yes, I am,” I reply. “I know Nigel wouldn’t have given you permission to pry in my affairs.” He takes a sip of his champagne, returns the glass back to the snowy tablecloth, and raises his eyes to meet mine. “When one decides to play little housewife and bury her head in the sand, it is always a good idea not to throw around accusations like that. Your husband signed a contract where it clearly states that anyone taking a debt from us will be closely monitored. And that includes their family members and friends.”I collapse back against the chair and stare at my lap. My palms feel clammy. First Rosa and now him. Both have made me realize how naïve and stupid I have been. I trusted Nigel implicitly. He said he would always put my safety first, and I believed him.“The soup is good. You should try it.”I look up. I wish I could do something outrageous to wipe that smu
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Outside it is getting dark. The daylight loving animals are settling down for the night. Like a nocturnal animal, my mind fills with anticipation. It’s time to hunt.My back is to her, but I feel her gaze. She averts her eyes as I turn around. I walk slowly but purposefully in her direction. On my journey, I stop to flick some table lamps. Yellow light fills the room. My brain notes how nervously she shuffles in her seat.I stop behind her. I am standing so close I can smell her. Flowers, mixed in with heady excitement and a touch of fear. I bend down until I am so close to her, my breath ghosts her neck. Her breathing becomes more pronounced. Steeling herself she turns to look at me. The look in my eyes causes her pupils to enlarge with sudden panic. She quickly drops her head. I run a finger along her pale cheek. She has beautiful skin. Smooth and cool.“It’s time, little butterfly.”“Time for what?” she whispers, her body tr
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I think I am dying. It is the only way I can describe the sensation. Everything starts leaving me. There is nothing left in the world but me on that table with his hand sealing my mouth shut, my legs wide open, and the friction of his long fingers working me. Forceful, fast,possessive. Then even that goes and I disintegrate and become one with pure pleasure. Waves and waves of it.But it doesn’t last. I don’t die. I come back. To voiceless sobbing and acute embarrassment. His fingers are still inside me, and I’ve squirted all over his fine furniture.I look up into his cold eyes and I think they will mock me, but they don’t. His eyes are more beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen in my life. I feel breathless. I am transfixed by his eyes. I feel as if I’m being sucked into them. The water is cold but it is impossible to resist. It pulls me deeper and deeper.Slowly, he takes his hand away from my mouth and I inhale a shuddering breath. His head
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Nikolai “Y ou’re nothing but a big bully.”The words reverberate around in my brain like an echo. I thought I had killed that motherfucker, but it is not dead. The past can never die. It lies down quietly in a dark well of sorrow, and when you least expect, it jumps out at you. After all these years. The scars have outwardly healed, but the ugliness underneath remains as vivid as yesterday. I turn away from her quickly. I don’t want her to see. Not her. I’m already too exposed. Too vulnerable.My hand shakes as I close the door behind me. I hear her crying and I want to go to her, but I won’t. It’s not safe for me.The past. There is no escaping it. It’s not dead.It’s still calling … Twenty-six Years Ago … “Boys can you come down, please,” our housekeeper, Duscha, calls.I turn instantly to my younger brother, Pavel. It is a late autum
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Star Before the hour is up I hear the sound of a motorbike roaring to the front. Minutes later there is a quiet knock, and when I open it Celine is standing outside. She looks at me strangely. I know my eyes are swollen and red.“Your new phone has arrived. A woman who can teach you how to use it is also here.”I follow her downstairs where a young Italian girl smiles at me and proceeds to show me how to use the phone. It is very different from mine and I have never heard of the brand before, but she is a good teacher, the interface is easy, and soon I am using it confidently.“That’s it. If you have any problems don’t hesitate to call me,” she says standing up. “I’m sorry you had to come out at this time of the night.”She grins broadly. “I wish more people would call me out at this time of the night. I’m getting paid almost a week’s wages for this, so believe me when I tell you, it is no hardship at all.”
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Star I wake up early and check my new phone. No calls or messages. I go into the beautiful marble bathroom and take a shower. Wrapped up in a fluffy robe, I sit on my bed, and call Nan. She asks how I am and I tell her that I am better, and that I will be going to see mydad tomorrow.“Yes, that would be good. He was asking about you yesterday.” “I’ll see him tomorrow,” I repeat.“What are you and Nigel up to today?”I close my eyes. This part is even more painful. “Not much. We’ll probably stay in today.” “Probably best. You stay indoors until you feel completely better.”“Yeah, I will.”“If you want I’ll make you some soup and your grandad can take it around to you.” “No, don’t do that. I’m almost better.”“Are you sure, Love? Cause it’s no trouble.”“No need. Rosa said she’ll bring something around.” “All right then.”“I’ll call you tomorrow.”I hang up with a sigh, and c
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