Chapter 01

ARIANA'S POV

The room was dark and the air stale. I could tell that the sun was up but the last thing I needed was the sun shining its rays on my loneliness so I kept the curtains drawn. 

I was seated on a white leather couch in the sitting room cradling my baby bump and sighing for the umpteenth time. 

Something weighed heavily on my mind. But I did not want to believe it was regret. 

I did not want to cast my mind back to the events that led to the now: 

me, pregnant, sitting in a dark room all alone, my husband gone.

“I'm gonna be fine”, I whispered to myself. “You hear that baby?” I said, directed at the baby bump. “We're gonna be fine”. 

Even as I whispered those words, I knew that what I truly wanted was the company of my husband. 

I wanted him to be sitting right there with me, the curtains open, letting in the sun and the two of us holding hands while whispering sweet nothings and looking forward to the birth of our son.

Just so my husband could look at me with approval. With love? 

What else could I do to make him love me?

I cast my mind back to the several quarrels we had been having. Robert slamming doors angrily, walking out on me and refusing to even talk to me. 

Robert was always home late nowadays and nothing I did ever seemed to make sense to him. It was as though I irritated him. 

Today we had an appointment with the OB/GYN by 3pm and Rob had promised me he would show up. 

If not for me, at least for our baby. For our family.

I really hoped he would even though a small voice in my head kept telling me he would not. 

“Maybe I need to have some warm tea, don’t you think so, baby?” I said, caressing my baby bump “After that, daddy would come,”

I knew I was lying to him. I wanted him to feel daddy’s love so it’s a white lie.

If Rob could pretend that he loves our baby, I don’t need to continue lying after his birth. 

That’s what I was hoping for.

At about 2 pm, I started to worry. I knew I was supposed to be used to Rob's late coming by now but I could not reconcile myself with the fact. 

I loved him and that was all that mattered. He was supposed to be by my side. 

Pregnancy was not supposed to be lonely, was it? 

Frustrated, I flung myself on my bed. Wishing I had something to do, I walked out of the bedroom to the kitchen to make another tea.

I had read somewhere that tea calmed the nerves and now more than ever, I need that. 

If I could not have Rob by my side, perhaps tea would have to do. 

Being a lonely pregnant woman for such a while, I have already taught myself how to ease myself so that I won’t be bothered by depression in pregnancy. 

But as I walked to the kitchen, I still couldn’t help thinking of our endless arguments. The times I had cause to believe Rob was cheating on me but couldn’t confirm it. 

I was constantly hearing rumors that he was going out with his secretary but Rob always assured me grudgingly that I was wrong.

“Why are you always so paranoid?” Rob screamed at me one day.

“Because you leave me no choice”, I screamed back at him. 

“How? How? Don't you think you should get back to work? Perhaps that would save you from all these imaginations of me cheating!”

“Are you insinuating that I'm jobless?” I demanded.

“You left your job Ariana! For no good reason…”

“For no good reason? I said I wanted to focus on us, on our baby, so we could be a happy family!” I cut in.

“Enough! I never asked you to do that. You were good at your job Ariana. You were one of the most successful ones in business! Perhaps you miss that?”

I went too emotional to control my tears. “Why are you being mean to me? I did it for our marriage! If you don’t want to be the one who sacrifices, then I’ll do it! I thought we agreed with that! ”

Rob had never been able to stand me crying but he never tried to console me either and like he had always done.

Like he had always done.

Indifferent. Irresponsible. And most importantly, doesn’t love me.

“You should balance your work and our baby. That’s what mothers do.”

That’s the last word he said before he left.

I hated myself when I recalled what he said, but sometimes I think he should be the one I hate.

I sighed as I told myself mentally that Rob was not going to make it to the doctor's appointment. 

It was up to me to call one of the chauffeurs to come pick me up and as usual, go through the process alone. 

Would he be there when I give birth? Once again, I couldn't help thinking.

Regret started to wash all over me but I quickly snapped out of it. 

There was no use crying over spilt milk. What was done was done.

I stood up and began to walk towards the bedroom feeling fatigued and at the same time enraged, when the phone began to ring. 

Angry at the interruption and knowing for a fact that it wasn't Rob calling, I ignored it and went into the bedroom to have a shower. 

I pushed every ill thought as I washed my body and admired my baby bump. 

I was going to shower my baby boy with all the love in the world. I smiled and stepped out of the bathroom. 

I changed into a long floral gown.

When I returned to the sitting room, the phone was ringing persistently so I angrily yanked it off the cradle.

“Ariana Stone”, I said crisply. 

“It's me, Judith. Where are you Ari?”

Feeling irritated, I snapped. “At home Judith, where else would I be by this time of the day?”

Judith was silent for a heartbeat. “I'm sorry Ariana, we've not spoken for a long time, I assumed you'd be at work…”

I was only getting more irritated and pissed off by the minute “I'm at home Judith, I took a break from work”.

I was certain Judith was mulling this new piece of information over in her mind but she quickly said,  “Okay get this: I am seated in a bar and your husband walks in and orders a drink, now, he's talking to a girl who…”, she paused. “She looks like Flora, Ari”.

I gasped. “Flora? My sister?”

“Uh huh…”

“You're telling me Rob's talking to a lady who looks like my dead sister?”

“Yeah”, Judith said quietly.

“Give me the address,” I knew my voices were shaking, “I'm coming there.”