Chapter 13: A Broken Heart, or So It Seemed

Joy curled in on herself slowly, cold hands pressed against her still-flat stomach.

She felt nothing physically, and yet the weight of it sat on her chest like something crushing the air out of her lungs.

She sat awake until dawn, eyes open the whole night.

She washed up and left the apartment.

Public hospitals were always loud and packed in the mornings.

With no appointment, she pulled a number from the kiosk and found a seat in a quiet corner to wait.

A commotion nearby caught her attention.

Several broad-shouldered men in black suits stood out immediately against the crowd, escorting a woman to the empty seats beside her.

The woman was polished, composed, sunglasses on her presence entirely out of place amid the chaos of the waiting room.

She tilted her head, glanced at Joy through the dark lenses, and gave a small nod.

Joy nodded back on reflex, then looked away.

Her number was called.

Exam. Blood draw. Wait.

When the results printed, her fingers went ice-cold.

No miracle. No mistake.

She took a breath, forced her stiff legs to move, and knocked on the exam room door.

"Come in."

The doctor reviewed the chart and ultrasound.

"Based on the HCG levels and the imaging, this is an intrauterine pregnancy five weeks along. You can see the gestational sac right here, developing normally..."

"I don't want it."

Joy cut him off.

The doctor's hands stilled on the keyboard. He looked up.

"Have you thought this through?" His tone softened, standard procedure in his voice. "Have you discussed it with the father? A termination isn't without risk, especially for a first pregnancy."

At the words *the father*, Joy's hands, resting on her knees, clenched hard enough to leave nail marks in her palms.

She lowered her eyes, hiding the bitterness rising in them.

"Yes. We've discussed it."

He didn't push further just sighed, something like regret in his expression, and kept typing.

"If you've made up your mind, sooner is better. The longer you wait, the harder it is on your body."

"Can I schedule it for this weekend?"

He checked the calendar. "Friday morning works. Come in fasting for the pre-op screening."

"Thank you, doctor." Joy took the appointment slip.

Stepping outside, the midday sun stabbed at her eyes.

Several missed calls lit up her screen. She took a breath and called back.

"Hey, Megan sorry, I got caught up and forgot to mention I took the day off."

Plates clattered somewhere in the background. Megan's voice came through muffled. "Did you go to the doctor?"

"Yeah, I went." Joy kept her voice even. "Acute gastritis, apparently. Nothing serious."

"You eat too carelessly." Megan chewed through the lecture like a mother hen. "You need more rest, and better food. Actually take care of yourself for once."

"I know. I will."

Then Megan's voice dropped, gossip-excited. "Oh by the way, I stopped by the executive floor looking for you this morning and heard something juicy."

"What?" Joy asked absently.

"Someone on the executive floor is pregnant!"

Everything in Joy went still.

Her lashes trembled, her voice coming out unsteady. "Who who is it?"

"No idea, everyone's guessing." Megan, oblivious, barreled on with her scoop. "Apparently the cleaning staff found a positive test in the trash yesterday."

"There's only eight women up there, and nobody's said a word yet."

"Might just be someone waiting the standard three months to announce."

Megan kept talking, but the words had turned into a dull ringing in Joy's ears.

"...say what you want about the hours at Cross Enterprises, the benefits are genuinely unbeatable full pay maternity leave, job guarantee held during leave, parental leave on top of it"

Joy's knuckles went white around the phone.

"...Right. That's good. Sorry, I've got to run."

She hung up and sank onto a bench in the small park beside the hospital, completely wrung out.

She opened the message Nathaniel had sent that morning.

An address for a private hospital, along with a name and direct line for the hospital's director.

[Arranged. Contact the director directly when you get there for a full workup. You can return to work once you're fully recovered.]

Joy pressed a hand to her stomach, and this time the tears finally broke free, falling onto the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry, little one... I couldn't bring you into this world."

"I hope you come back somewhere better next time. Somewhere smarter than me. Don't pick someone like me again."

Wind moved through the trees overhead, but it did nothing to muffle the sound of her crying.

She pulled the ultrasound printout from her bag the only proof this child had ever existed.

A gust of wind caught it.

It spun out of her hand like a kite with a cut string, sailing toward the lake.

"No"

Her pupils blew wide, heart lurching.

She ran without thinking.

The paper drifted onto the surface of the water, slowly darkening and sinking under the ripples.

That's the only photo I'll ever have of my baby.

Without a second's hesitation, Joy vaulted the low railing and plunged straight into the freezing lake.

She pushed deeper through the murky shallows, arm outstretched, grasping.

On the tree-lined path nearby, the composed woman from earlier was walking arm in arm with a doctor after an early dinner.

"Dozens of patients this morning, I'm exhausted. You should've just let me take you to Cross Medical" She stopped mid-sentence, eyes catching movement at the lake. "My god someone just jumped in!"

"Go now!"

The bodyguards behind them took off at a sprint.

Splash

The instant Joy's fingers brushed the corner of the paper, an iron grip hauled her straight out of the water.

"Let go of me!"

She thrashed, soaked through, hair plastered to her face.

The bodyguards ignored every word of protest and hauled her onto the grass at the water's edge.

"Sweetheart, why would you do this?"

The doctor rushed over, shrugging off her coat and draping it over Joy's shaking shoulders. Recognition flickered across her face, her voice softening into something aching.

"Is some man really worth throwing your life away over?"

Joy went completely still.

She looked up, dazed, and met a pair of startled eyes staring back at her.

The elegant woman pulled off her sunglasses, studying Joy in open disbelief.

Joy flinched.

"I wasn't trying to hurt myself." Her voice came out thick, nasal. "I just I dropped something. I was trying to get it back."

She looked toward the lake as she said it.

The ultrasound was gone. Swallowed by the water.

Fresh tears welled up, and she forced out a broken, awkward laugh. "Guess nothing stays, huh..."

Watching her swing between tears and that hollow laugh, the woman's shock slowly softened into pity and certainty.

A foolish girl, ready to die over some man who didn't deserve her.

"What a tragedy," the woman murmured, sighing.