Luca has very skillfully brushed off my question, but I can't pretend his tardiness is the only reason I'm having issues today."I think... I honestly think it's just the pressure," I say. "Everyone believes that what you and I are doing out there is real. And if we're awkward or if something about it is off, then they're going to know the truth."One of his golden eyebrows rises. "If you're worried about it looking awkward, then I'm afraid that ship has already sailed.""I know. I just..." God, what is wrong with me? "I got a weird call from Javy this morning and I'm a little distracted.""Javy?""My brother." We've been "together" for two years and apparently he still doesn't know my little brother's name. But I can't blame him, I guess - Luca and I never talk about personal stuff.He's watching me a little too closely. I don't think he realizes how intense his gaze is - how it has a way of getting under your skin, even when you try to guard yourself against it. I look down at
I still remember, quite vividly, the first time I visited Luca's house. I stood here on this very driveway, looking up at the marvel of contemporary architecture rising above me, and I'm pretty sure I forgot how to breathe. The effect isn't quite as intense this time, but the memory still comes rushing back to me.I nearly tripped over my own feet walking up the front steps. I still couldn't believe that I, of all girls, would be acting opposite Luca Fontaine. That I, of all girls, was about to walk into his Beverly Hills mansion. He'd invited me here himself, saying he had "special business" to discuss with me.Even though it had only been a month since I was cast in Cataclysm: Earth, I'd still been in Hollywood long enough to know what that meant. No doubt about it - he'd invited me here to sleep with him.It was stupid, I knew, to even consider the idea. I was here to be an actress, not to hook up with a celebrity. I knew plenty of young, naive women who thought that sleeping wit
I'm no longer the innocent girl I was the night I signed that contract. I've learned how to play the publicity game. And I've learned not to trust Luca's - or anyone's - smiles.I straighten my shoulders and head up the front steps. This is the last place I want to be right now, but after the way I humiliated myself on set today, I know I don't have a choice. I need to practice that scene.My nerves start to sink in again as I ring the doorbell. I'm still not sure what came over me earlier. I've never had a panic attack on set before. It doesn't help that I still don't know what's going on with Javy. I've called him multiple times and left him a couple messages, but so far his only response has been a quick text message to tell me he'd talk to me later. I spent the entire ride over here debating whether or not I should call Mom and Dad about him. What the hell could he need twenty thousand dollars for?Just when I'm starting to lose myself in my anxiety again, Luca answers the door.
I wish I was experienced enough in this industry to manage a few secret lovers like Luca. Dante Fontaine is the only person I've slept with since Luca and I signed our contract, and I know he'll keep what happened a secret. But who knows what other men might do? I'm too afraid they'll run off the morning after and sell the story to one of the tabloids, and I can't afford to pay the $30,000 penalty our contract says we owe for each infraction of discretion. Sure, I'm making a lot more money than I used to, but I'm not making Fontaine money or anything - I mean, two years ago I had absolutely nothing. And now I'm saving most of what I earn for my family.In all honesty, though, it's not even the sex that I miss - though I certainly wouldn't say no to that right now. It's more that I just want someone to talk to. Someone to hold me. Someone with whom I can drop all the lies, if only for a night. Sometimes the loneliness is so bad it's like a physical ache inside of me."How's your broth
I'm only too happy to get on with our evening - I can't believe I spilled as much as I did to Luca. This is why I need real friends.The rec room here in Luca's house looks - unsurprisingly, I guess - like something straight out of a movie. In my head, I've always referred to this as the "party room" - in part because this is where Luca's house parties are usually centered, and in part because the room was clearly designed precisely for that purpose. There are a number of plush couches, armchairs, and ottomans between us and the far side of the room, where a full bar is built against the wall. There's also a pool table and dart board.The most impressive feature of this room, however, is the wall to the outside - which, technically, isn't a wall at all. There are only three real walls here, and the fourth is completely open to the outdoors, creating a seamless flow between this room and the elaborate poolside area behind the house. I know there's a retractable screen that can be brou
Is Luca suggesting what I think he's suggesting? That I let myself get turned on?I don't get the chance to ponder that question for very long. He kisses me again, and all I can do is try to listen to his advice. This time, I attempt to force all thoughts of Izzy out of my head. Funny enough, all of those "Be in the moment!" mindfulness exercises my dad forced on me are finally proving to be quite useful, allowing me to focus my attention fully on what's in front of me.His breath is warm on my lips. His skin is hot and smooth against my hands - except along his jaw, where there's the slight tickle of stubble. The weight of his body traps me against the ground, but I find that almost comforting.God, I miss holding someone close like this. Just being so intimate with another human being...His hands burn. I can feel the heat of them through the fabric of my shirt. I can feel the heat of his chest, too. It presses against my body, hard and solid and ridged with muscle. I allow my ha
"What's that for?" I ask, starting to get nervous when I see the camera in Luca's hand."For practice," he says, setting the tripod into position. "It's the best I can do to recreate the set." He sets the camera on top of the tripod and hooks it into place. "It's not exactly the same as having a bunch of people staring at us, but it's as close as we're going to get tonight." He fiddles with a couple of buttons on the camera. A red light comes on."Are you actually turning it on?" I ask, starting to feel sick."Of course." He looks down at me. "It makes you more nervous, doesn't it?""Well, yeah," I admit."Then it's doing what it's supposed to do. You need to practice in conditions that make you nervous." That devilish smile returns. "Can I take this to mean you've never filmed a sex tape?"My face goes hot again. "Of course I haven't! I'm not an idiot. That's not the sort of fame I want." I want people to know my name because of my acting, not because they've seen me naked. Even
I release my death grip on Luca's hair. This is bad. This is...horrifying and humiliating and the absolute worst thing that could have happened.But there's one saving grace - he doesn't know. Thank God."I...I think we're good," I say, and my voice sounds breathless and strange. "This is where they'll cut the scene, right?"Luca freezes on top of me. His lips release my ear."I think that went well," I say, trying to sound casual. "Very well. How did that feel for you?"Slowly - torturously slowly - he sits up. The moment his weight lifts from me, I feel so cold and alone that it's all I can do not to pull him back down on top of me. My body is still trembling from that orgasm.Luca straightens, running a hand through his tousled hair. The golden strands are disheveled from the furious grip of my fingers."I agree," he says, and his voice sounds a tone lower than usual. "That went well. You're getting much more natural." He tilts his head and looks down at me, meeting my eyes f