Chapter 5

Trista's POV

"Cassian has stepped up for this family a lot over the last three years," Randolph said, sliding a box of pastries my way. "So, if you two are having a moment, just go talk to him. Stop being so sensitive."

Next to him, Ulva squeezed my hand, her eyes full of that desperate kind of hope. "Trista, you're the Alpha and Luna of Ironthorn. If you just had a pup, that mating bond would be bulletproof."

A pup. A bitter laugh bubbled up in my chest.

I remembered the time he was out at the border with the guards, hunting rogues. I took every bottle of birth control herbs in my nightstand and flushed them down the toilet.

When he finally came home a week later, it was a full moon. The "heat" had him wound tight.

He spent the night buried in my neck, scenting my skin. He definitely knew the herbs were out of my system, but he didn't stop.

I took that as a "yes."

But the next morning, he pressed a vial of Moonshade Suppressant to my lips. He was patient about it—he didn't move an inch until he was sure I'd swallowed every drop.

After that, I stopped trying. I buried the idea of "kids" so deep I forgot where I put it.

It took me until now to realize he didn't have a problem with being a father—he just didn't want me to be his kid's mother.

The sound of boots at the door snapped me out of the memory.

My brother, Attwater, burst in, bringing a gust of the freezing night air with him.

He pulled me into a bear hug, then flashed that big, oblivious grin of his. "Trista! I just passed the Primrose Wing—I saw Cassian out there!"

My smile died on my face.

Ulva turned to me instantly. "Did he drive you here?"

"No," I said, staring at the floor. "He's visiting a friend. I just hitched a ride."

I forced a stiff, fake smile. "I'm gonna go grab some air." I bolted before they could see the cracks in my mask.

The Primrose Wing was dead silent, smelling faintly of that medicinal evening primrose oil.

I didn't need to ask for directions; I just followed a self-destructive gut feeling until I hit a door that was cracked open just a hair.

I could smell him. Cassian's scent was all over the place, tangled up with Samantha's—hers was sweet and hazy, like melting ice.

My wolf fangs slid out, the sharp tips pricking my lip.

Inside, my wolf was baring its teeth, its claws raking my insides as a fire of pure, unadulterated rage started to spread.

I peeked through the gap. The Alpha who stood like a god to the rest of the pack was kneeling on the floor by a hospital bed.

He was focused, almost reverent, as he gently rubbed Samantha's cold feet.

He moved like he was handling something priceless, something that might shatter if he breathed too hard.

"Cassian, stay with me tonight? Please?" Samantha whispered, her fingers playing with the hair at his temples.

He didn't say no.

He looked up, and the eyes that were always cold and empty when they looked at me were suddenly full of a tenderness so deep it could drown you.

Right then, I felt the mating bond in my chest shudder. I heard a sharp, crystalline crack—a sound only I could hear.

I closed my eyes and counted to ten, crushing that explosion of pain inch by inch until I could shove it back into my bones.

Then I saw the glint on her ankle. A circle of diamonds throwing off cold sparks in the dim light.

My heart bottomed out. I looked down at the glittering diamond bracelet on my own wrist.

Just minutes ago, I was still deluding myself, thinking it was some romantic "third-anniversary gift."

But there it was. Samantha was wearing the exact same one on her ankle.

What was this?

A bulk-buy to soothe his guilty conscience? A "buy-one-get-one-free" deal to keep both women quiet?

The shaking stopped. I felt a weird, total calm wash over me.

I reached down and unclipped the clasp. The heavy bracelet slid off and hit the carpet without a sound. It was just like my dignity over the last three years—cheap, silent, and tossed aside.

Maybe the silent scream from my wolf was too loud, because Cassian's shoulders suddenly went rigid.

Before he could look back and catch me, I turned and walked away. I couldn't stomach another second of his "devotion."

I headed for the elevators. I heard heavy, frantic footsteps pounding down the hall behind me, but I didn't slow down.

The elevator doors slid open, and the mirrored walls showed me exactly who I was: pale, but with eyes as dead as a graveyard.

Just as the doors were about to lock, a large, scarred hand slammed into the sensor.

"Trista!" Cassian panted, standing in the gap.

His chest was heaving. For the first time, his deep, calculated eyes held a flicker of something I'd never seen before: panic.

He let out a massive wave of mate pheromones—a thick, suffocating net designed to wrap around me and pull me back into line.

He thought a little bit of "Alpha charm" would make me the loyal Luna again.

I just stared at those invisible threads. I reached into my mind and snapped the connection with a single, sharp flick of my will.

Cassian recoiled, his body jolting as if he'd been punched.

He stared at me, his hand freezing in mid-air as he reached for me.

As the doors finally hummed shut, I looked at his shocked, pathetic face and spoke without making a sound, "Go to hell."