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Author: Aya Starr
last update Last Updated: 2025-07-08 07:35:09
HAYDEN

Practice was hell.

I don’t mean the usual kind where your muscles burn and your lungs fight for air and the coach’s whistle feels like a scream in your eardrums. No, this was a different kind of hell.

The kind where your head's a fucking mess and your body refuses to cooperate.

Every time I dropped back to throw, I felt like her eyes were on me even though she wasn’t there. Every time I ran a drill, I kept hearing her voice in that lecture hall.

Coleen Maine was haunting me.

“Michaels!” Coach Thompson’s voice thundered across the field. “What in God's name was that? My grandmother could make a fucking slap shot!”

I gritted my teeth, yanked off my helmet, and ran a frustrated hand through my sweat-soaked hair.

“Sorry, Coach,” I muttered, already knowing I looked like crap out there.

“You’re not even trying today!” he barked, storming toward me like a defenseman on a mission. “What’s going on with you?”

“Just having a rough morning,” I said, avoiding eye contact.

Coach
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  • The Hockey Star Regret    110

    HAYDENJessica found me in the west hall.The long, empty corridor echoed with the faint click of her heels and the soft hum of the old grandfather clock at the far end. I’d been heading toward the study to find a bit of quiet, Coleen had gone upstairs for a nap, and I desperately needed a few minutes to breathe after the disaster of breakfast.“Hayden,” she said, sliding into the hallway with that same too-confident sway she used to have in high school.I froze mid-step. “What do you want, Jessica?”Her painted smile only widened. “What, no hello? No ‘nice to see you again’?”“I didn’t exactly put you on the guest list,” I said flatly. “Why are you even here?”She tucked a strand of perfect blonde hair behind her ear. “Jared invited me, obviously. He’s sweet like that.”“Sweet,” I echoed, rolling my eyes. “Sure.”She took a few steps closer, and I caught the faint scent of her perfume. It was sharp, expensive, the same one she used to wear senior year. For a moment, it was like I was

  • The Hockey Star Regret    109

    COLEENThe morning light poured through the tall, arched windows of the Michaels mansion, painting streaks of pale gold across the floorboards. I woke up slower than usual, cocooned in the softness of Hayden’s comforter.For a few seconds, I almost forgot where I was until I caught the faint scent of his cologne on the pillow beside me and the distant hum of staff moving downstairs.Hayden was already up. The faint sound of running water drifted from the bathroom, followed by the squeak of the door. He came out toweling his hair, wearing a navy sweatshirt and joggers that did nothing to make him look less unfairly gorgeous.“Morning, sleepyhead,” he said with that easy grin that still made my heart trip over itself. “How’d you sleep?”“Like a log,” I said, stretching. “Though your bed might be too comfortable. I might never leave.”He laughed. “Please do. My mom would implode.”I groaned and flopped back onto the pillows. “Don’t remind me.”He chuckled and leaned down, pressing a soft

  • The Hockey Star Regret    108

    COLEENBy the time dinner rolled around, I had managed to convince myself that it couldn’t possibly get worse than the afternoon.Turns out, I was wrong.The dining room was straight out of a lifestyle magazine, gleaming silverware, crystal glasses that sparkled under chandelier light, and a table so long it felt like a bridge. Hayden sat beside me, close enough that our knees brushed beneath the table, but even that small comfort wasn’t enough to loosen the knot in my stomach.Mrs. Michaels sat at the head of the table, perfectly poised, every movement graceful and deliberate. Across from her was Mr. Michaels, reading something on his tablet before setting it aside as the housekeeper entered with a tray of food. Jared sat opposite me, swirling the wine in his glass like he was starring in some luxury ad campaign.“So, Coleen,” Mrs. Michaels began, lifting her wine glass, “I hear you’re working part-time at the athletic complex on campus. That must be… exhausting.”“It keeps me busy,”

  • The Hockey Star Regret    107

    COLEENThe moment I stepped into the Michaels mansion, I forgot how to breathe.I tried to remind myself that this wasn’t some royal palace. It was just Hayden’s house. His childhood home. The place he grew up in. But the longer I stood there, clutching his hand, the less it felt like a home at all.It felt like a museum. A place where everything looked perfect but no one actually lived.“Wow,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.Hayden gave my hand a squeeze. “You okay?”I nodded quickly, forcing a smile. “Yeah. Just… trying not to touch anything. I might accidentally break a vase and owe your parents a fortune.”That earned me a quiet laugh, but I could feel the tension in him too. He wasn’t relaxed, not even close. His eyes flicked toward the hallway, toward the sitting room where I could hear faint voices.And then his brother appeared.He looked like Hayden, if Hayden had been raised on charm and self-importance instead of hard work. His smile was dazzling, all teeth and bright

  • The Hockey Star Regret    106

    HAYDENThe drive stretched out before us, the highway flanked by bare winter trees that clawed at the sky. My hands gripped the steering wheel tighter than they needed to, knuckles white, jaw clenched. Every mile closer to my parents’ house felt like another weight added to my chest.Beside me, Coleen shifted in her seat for the fifth time since we’d left campus. She fiddled with the strap of her bag, then her bracelet, then the edge of her sweater. Her nerves radiated like static. I wanted so badly to take them from her, but I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t wound just as tight.I reached across the console, brushing my fingers over hers until she stilled. “You okay?”She gave me a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I’ll be okay. Just… trying to prepare myself, you know?”“I know,” I said softly. “But, babe… you don’t have to prepare like it’s an exam. There’s no right answers with my parents. They’ve already made up their minds about most things before they even ask the question.”Her bro

  • The Hockey Star Regret    105

    COLEENI sat cross-legged on my bedroom floor, my suitcase yawning open in front of me like it was mocking me. A pile of half-folded clothes was scattered around me, sweaters draped over the chair, jeans tossed onto the bed.I kept pulling things out, folding them neatly, then unfolding them again, unsure if they were “appropriate” enough for Hayden’s parents. My heart hammered with each decision, as if picking the wrong sweater would seal my fate.If it wasn't already obvious that I was nervous about this trip, one look at my room would have given it away.“Are you seriously stressing over socks?” Mark’s voice floated in from the doorway.I whipped my head around. He leaned against the frame with his arms crossed, watching me like I was the evening’s entertainment.“They have to match the outfits!” I snapped, holding up a pair of plain black socks. “What if I wear these and his mom thinks I’m boring? What if I wear the striped ones and she thinks I’m tacky?”Mark snorted and sauntere

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