CHAPTER 162: Something shifts

 POV: Selene Castellano 

Waking up to thirty weeks felt... Different. Heavier.

More present.

Real, in a physical sense rather than an emotional one. Lying in the dark, she placed her hands on her belly. Elena stirred. "Good morning,"  she whispered.

"I know," she told her.

Dr Okafor said, "Thirty weeks.

It's all perfect, and she’s head down already."

"That's early, right?"

Avalon asked.

"Right on time," Dr Okafor said.

"She's positioning herself."

"Opinionated," Avalon mused.

"Completely," Dr Okafor agreed. She looked at me.

"How are you sleeping?"

"Less,"  she said.

 "That's normal. Your body is prepping you, and this lack of sleep is training."

"Training for what?"

Avalon inquired.

 "For not sleeping at all," Dr Okafor said cheerfully. Avalon glanced at me.

"We know," she said.

"Knowing something from an intellectual and experiencing it from a medical professional are very different," he countered.

 "You'll be fine," Dr Okafor reassured.

"Both of you. People tend to be more prepared than they realise."

 "Most people," Avalon stated.

"All the people sitting in front of me," Dr Okafor corrected. "You specifically.

You'll be fine."

The foundation's mid-year review was the following week.

For the first time, she presented while seated.

No one had asked me to; standing for ninety minutes at thirty weeks was no longer practical. Daniel Frost observed, but said nothing. It was an act of consideration in its own way from Daniel Frost. The numbers were positive.

The land trust had its first executed deal. An article in The Chronicle about the stability-not-services model had led to seventeen inquiries from other foundations interested in replicating it. Kevin Walsh's program was full and had a waiting list.

Nadia had revamped the foundation's legal structure in a remarkable six weeks, flawlessly and without fanfare.

James had reviewed her work and simply stated, "Better than what I would have done."

Nadia had replied, "I know."

James smiled. "Good review," Amara commented afterwards.

"Good year," she replied.

"Better second half," Amara added. "That displacement bond crisis was the best thing that ever happened to this foundation."  Selene raised an eyebrow.

"That's a bold statement."

"It's true," Amara asserted. "It forced us to accept real accountability, not performative accountability. The community oversight committee now holds more power than most foundation boards. It was because we got caught."

 "We caught ourselves," she clarified.

"Technically."

"Either way.

The foundation is stronger for having been tested." That evening, Selene sat alone in the nursery. 

Avalon found her at eight. "You spend a lot of time here lately," he said.

"I know," I replied.

"Is that a good thing?"

He asked. "I'm getting ready," I said. "Not with material things, but...

Mentally. In this space."

He leaned against the doorframe. 

"Tell me something,"  she said.

"What?"

"What do you think about when you think of her?" She asked.

He was quiet for a moment.

"I think about the first morning she'll wake up and notice something for the first time," he said. "The way the light hits the window at a particular angle, or a sound she's never heard before. And she'll have a reaction that's entirely hers, something no one taught her, something she already is." He paused.

"I think I'll be completely undone by that."

She looked at him. "The light from that window in the morning is the right green."

"I chose the window's placement because of that." 

She stared at him. "You chose the window placement?"

"When we were talking about the room," he explained. "I looked at which window had the best morning light. That one does, from seven to nine AM in the summer."

 "You did that, without telling me?"

"You were busy deciding the colour," he said.

"I handled the light."

She looked at the window. At the light, it would capture in the morning.

"Kofi would approve,"  she said.

 "I know," he said.

"I asked him."

"You asked Kofi about window placement for the nursery."

"He's an architect," Avalon said. "It seemed relevant."

Selene looked at her husband in the doorway of the right green room, with the chair that held and the window chosen for its specific morning quality. "You're going to be a great father," she said.

He looked at the window.

"I'm going to try really hard to be," he said.

 "That's the same thing," she replied.

"Is it?"

"For Elena Castellano Pierce," she said.

That's the same thing."