"Just wait for me in the car. I'll just talk to your therapist," wika ni Kuya Erick nang maihatid niya 'ko sa labas ng clinic.Tumango ako bilang sagot, at naglakad na papunta sa pinagparadahan niya nang kotse. Pero napapapikit ang mga mata ko habang naglalakad patungo sa sasakyan. Hindi ako nakatulog ng maayos kagabi tapos ang aga ko pa nagising, kaya inaantok ako ngayon.Kanina gising na gising ang diwa ko habang kinakausap nang therapist. She asked so many questions na kailangan kong sagutin, but I was able to respond to all of them even though my mind was in chaos and I didn’t have enough sleep. But she never forced me to answer or share if I couldn’t, especially when she asked me what happened after my mom’s death.I was able to share that with Louie, but with her, I couldn’t say it even though I was talking to professional help."Ugh, nakakaantok... gusto ko nang umuwi," matamlay na usal ko nang makapasok na ako sa kotse.My first therapy session is done, and the next one will b
I am forcing myself to forget about it because I don’t want to keep blaming myself for what happened, and I don’t want to remember the incident that only led to me losing my mother.I thought I was okay, I thought I had moved on, but I am still hurt and affected until now. The past continues to haunt me even though I have completely regretted that incident. I’ve already repented, my father has completely turned his back on me, and so has the world, but why am I the one suffering for a mistake I didn’t even mean to make?"How is she, Doctor? Does she need to be taken to the hospital?""She's fine, there's no need to take her to the hospital. But she needs to undergo therapy and medication. We already knew what was causing this, but we have to make sure that it won't happen again. She's been suffering from post-traumatic stress, and it will only get worse if it's not addressed early.""Alright, Doctor. I will take her to a therapist tomorrow. Thank you.""You're welcome. If you need hel
*WAYNE LOUIE ANDERSON'S POVI'm here at a nearby coffee shop from the apartment. I'm not going to meet with Deo, I just really want to be alone for now so I can think clearly.I'm not mad at Erina that's why I left, I left because I can't understand what I'm feeling.I'm not the kind of person who sulks and feels bad over a small thing. But ever since I was with Erina, I felt something that I have never felt in my entire life. I need to stop whatever it is that I'm feeling because I don't want anything to change in me."How's the task I asked you to do?" I asked as I answered his call, glancing around.I'm wearing a hat inside the shop, and I think no one will recognize me here.[Wala pa rin akong maibibigay na magandang balita tungkol doon, boss. Hanggang ngayon wala pa rin akong mahanap na ebidensya na makapagturo sa taong gustong pumatay sa inyo.] He replied, and I heard him sigh on the other line.My hand clenched tightly because of what he said. I suddenly seethed in anger until
"He's still outside. He might get the wrong idea if he hears that you're in here with someone." I knew it. But why do I feel disappointed? Bakit kasi hindi niya na lang ako pinatahimik gamit ang kamay niya? Bakit ang labi pa niya? Now I’m the one thinking that there might be another reason why he kissed me. "I'm sorry kung hinalikan kita. That's the only thing that comes to my mind to—" Make me shut up. I know. "Ayos lang, naintindihan ko," putol ko sa kaniya, at agad ng lumabas ng banyo. Pero naramdaman kong sumunod siya sa likuran ko. "Good thing I was already inside the bathroom before he arrived. I saw him outside your room, so I decided not to come out," aniya, pero hindi ako sumagot. Ewan, bigla akong na badtrip dahil sa ginawa niya. "I heard your conversation—" "I know, I’m sorry for what you heard. Don’t worry, I already talked to him," I cut him off. Turns out, what happened earlier could actually get even more annoying. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko.I let myself do w
Ni-lock ko ang sarili sa kwarto pagkatapos nang nangyari kanina. Mahigit isang oras na 'kong nandito sa loob, at wala akong plano na lumabas hangga't hindi ako napupuntahan ni Louie dito.Naguguluhan pa rin ako dahil sa naging reaksyon niya kanina. Hindi ko alam kung bakit siya nagalit. Hindi ko alam kung saang parte ng sinabi ko ang kinakagalit niya.I don't know, but as time goes by, his behavior gets weirder and weirder. I'm not sure if it's still because of the trauma he went through or if it's something else."Ano kaya ang ginagawa niya?" usal ko, hindi napigilan ang mag-alala sa kaniya.Nakatingin ako sa pinto habang nakayakap sa magkabilang binti ko. Hinihintay kong kumatok siya sa pinto, pero hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin nangyayari.Wala na yata siyang balak na kausapin ako."Nagugutom na 'ko..." muling sambit ko, ngunit nakahawak na sa tiyan ko ngayon.Hindi pa 'ko nakakain ng agahan 'tsaka tanghalian. Kanina pa kumukulo ang tiyan ko simula no'ng pumasok ako rito sa kwarto. E
Hindi ko pa rin maintindihan ang laman nitong sulat. Para sa akin ba talaga 'to? O baka namali lang ng ibinigay sa akin 'yong kartero kanina?Mali ako ng tinulungan?Eh, si Louie lang naman ang tinulungan ko—wala ng iba pa."Ugh, ano ba 'to?! Isang pagkakamali na ba ang pagtulong ngayon?" naiinis na sabi ko, sabay tapon ng sulat sa ibabaw ng kama.Gosh, nakakabaliw naman 'yan. I don’t know if that’s a threat or if they just want to scare me.Ipakita ko na lang kaya 'to kay Louie?Pero hanggang ngayon hindi niya pa rin ako pinapansin. At hindi talaga ako sigurado kung nang dahil ba sa mga sinabi ko o may iba pang dahilan."Inhale... exhale, kaya mo 'to, Erina," sabi ko sa sarili nang makalabas na ako ng kwarto. At agad ng naglakad papunta sa sala kung nasaan si Louie.Nag-ipon muna ako ng lakas ng loob bago ako lumabas ng kwarto. Nagbabalak akong kausapin siya tungkol dito sa sulat na natanggap ko, at gusto ko ring humingi ng tawad sa kaniya kung may nasabi man akong hindi niya nagustu