Chapter 2 Always the Outsider

The next morning, my family climbed into the car in high spirits.

Vincent drove, Phoebe sat in the front passenger seat, and Tristan and Eleanor took the back.

I stood awkwardly beside the car, holding my suitcase.

Eleanor looked at me impatiently. "What are you waiting for? Get in. Why can't you be as sharp as Phoebe?"

How ironic. Phoebe never had to be sharp as someone always made sure her things were taken care of. I was the only one who was constantly treated like a nuisance.

"Mom, there's no room left in the trunk."

Tristan clicked his tongue, opened the car door, and got out.

My suitcase was in the trunk a moment later, but I was left holding a backpack stuffed full of things.

"There. Now, get in. You're always such a hassle."

I squeezed into the middle of the back seat, clutching the backpack. Before long, my feet started to go numb.

I shifted, trying to relieve the pins and needles I was enduring.

Eleanor immediately shot me an annoyed look. "Can't you just sit still?"

Tristan started complaining, too.

"There are usually just enough seats for the four of us. So, why are you here? You're in college now. Can't you work part-time and earn some of your own money? Why not just get a job over break instead of coming home?"

I sat there, utterly frozen and unable to breathe.

Their blunt complaints left me cold from head to toe, so much so that I barely noticed the tingling in my feet anymore.

…

When Tristan noticed how stiff I'd become, he fell silent and turned to look out the window.

When we arrived at the hotel, Phoebe got out and stretched. "Three hours in the car! I'm exhausted."

Eleanor rubbed her shoulders and laughed in agreement. "Yeah, this trip has been especially exhausting."

Tristan shot me a pointed glance. "We wouldn't have to be squashed like a can of sardines if there weren't extra baggage with us."

As Vincent unloaded the luggage, he listened to their complaints and noticed how awkward I looked. Then, he said the same thing he always did. "Come on. We're already here."

I took my suitcase and turned to Eleanor. "Mom, I'd like to visit the library. I heard the one in Averton is huge."

Her expression immediately darkened.

"Who's going to take pictures of Phoebe if you aren't coming with us? Besides, who knows what your grandmother will say if she sees pictures of us without you in them? Can't you be a little more considerate? Stop making things unpleasant for everyone."

I looked toward the library and sighed silently.

I'd just have to visit another time.

…

We'd booked a three-bedroom suite at the hotel.

My parents took one room, Tristan took another, and the third room was Phoebe's.

I was dragging my suitcase toward the room when Eleanor stopped me. "Gwyneth, Phoebe's tired. Don't disturb her."

I stopped and stared at her in disbelief. "Then, where am I supposed to sleep?"

Eleanor lifted her chin and glanced toward the couch in the living room. "Isn't there a couch right there? Sleep there."

I looked at it. It was upholstered in soft leather, but there was no pillow or blanket.

After a moment of silence, I walked over and sat down.

Only then did Eleanor nod in satisfaction before returning to her room to rest.

I curled up on the couch, memories of all the times I'd been left behind flooding my mind. However, I swallowed my hurt and breathed through the pain at the thought of my grandmother.

Fine. I'd do it for her. She'd be so happy to see me in the family photos.

I picked up my phone and checked my email. The review process was already complete.

…

Before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep on the couch.

The next thing I knew, Phoebe's excited chatter woke me up.

"Mom, Dad, Tristan! That Ferris wheel was gorgeous! And the drone show was even better than fireworks!"

Tristan eagerly agreed. "Yeah, I'd never seen anything like it. It was incredible."

Eleanor laughed as she reminded them, "All right, it's late. Get some sleep. We're going to the aquarium tomorrow."

I pushed myself up into a sitting position.

The room immediately fell silent.

Eleanor cleared her throat. "You were sleeping so soundly, so we didn't want to wake you. There's some bread over there. Just make do with those."

Phoebe squeezed in beside me and affectionately linked her arm through mine. "Gwyneth, you really missed out! The steak was so tender and juicy! It was so good! We've had it so many times, but the one in Averton was the best."

I'd never had steak in my entire life.

My family would always leave me at home to study while they went out to eat. All they ever left me was a dinner roll or some leftovers.

I lowered my eyes.

In a way, I had them to thank for how far I'd come academically. My academic success had also given me the means to get away from them.

I'd once desperately hoped that my parents would finally look at me if I worked hard enough.

Alas, I now knew that I would fail to earn even so much as a second glance from them even after getting into one of the country's top universities.

That was when I realized the truth. They simply didn't care for me.

Maybe that was for the best. At least now I could leave without feeling guilty.

I stood by the window later that night, watching the neon lights flicker outside.

Before Phoebe was born, I'd been the apple of my parents' eyes, too.

My grandmother had told me how they'd played with me and prepared homemade baby food for me. Apparently, Tristan used to pick me up and lift me high into the air.

That changed after Phoebe was born. They began snapping at me, screaming at me, and would even hit me whenever things didn't go their way.

When Eleanor was putting Phoebe to sleep, she'd hiss at me, "Keep it down!"

When I wanted her to hold me, she'd bark, "Get lost!"

So, I learned to keep my mouth shut. I learned to do whatever I could to please them.

I'd spent 16 years learning how to please them, but I didn't want to do it anymore.

I wanted to start living my own life.

I wiped away tears I hadn't even realized I'd shed, grabbed the throw blanket beside the couch, and lay down to sleep.

The next day, I put on the only dress I had and joined my family for a trip to the aquarium.

On the way, Phoebe wore her pretty dress and took pictures with our parents and Tristan.

I was the one taking the pictures.

After an hour of walking around, Phoebe complained that she was tired and needed a break.

Eleanor took her to a bench before turning to me. "Go get us a few bottles of water. Phoebe likes Coke, so get her a cold one."

I nodded. "Okay."

The concession stand was a little far away, so I jogged all the way there to buy the drinks.

However, they were nowhere to be found by the time I returned.

I messaged the family group chat. "I got the drinks. Where are you?"

Tristan replied a little while later, "The dolphin show is about to start, so we went ahead."

Eleanor chimed in right after him, "Just wait there. We'll head back after the show."

And Phoebe, as usual, put on her sugary-sweet act. "Thanks for doing that, Gwyneth! We're going to watch the show now. I'll tell you all about it when I get back!"

I couldn't help but burst into incredulous laughter.

They were my family, alright. My kin who would hurt me as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

My laughter faded, and I fell silent.

Why was I still sad? Hadn't I already decided to leave them behind?