Chapter 5

SEREIA

The sound of honking cars and chirping birds pulled me out of my peaceful slumber.

I cracked my eyes open as they scanned throughout the room trying to find Mr. Rude.

His side of his bed was neat and it look like no one had been there.

My chest tightened at the possibility that he might have ghosted me.

Was the sex bad?

Or was he just busy?

I thought still feeling like shit because I was ghosted by the guy I hooked up with.

I swung my legs off the bed as I stood up, walking towards my dress that was neatly folded— probably by him and hope danced in my chest that maybe he went to get something.

But as I stood there for the next two minutes I realized that maybe just maybe Mr rude ghosted me.

"He didn’t even try to steal from me.” I muttered bitterly as I walked towards the bathroom to freshen up.

The bathroom smelt like cheap air freshener and I scrunched my nose walking towards the mirror to see how I looked.

I looked like a crazed woman, mascara smudges, swollen eyes, swollen lips and God my neck looked like it had been bitten by a monster.

“Gosh I look like shit.” I whispered as I washed my face with cold water, scrubbing harder than necessary.

After I was done freshening up I walked back into the room and pulled myself into my anniversary dress. The memories from that night plaguing my head.

On the counter sat my phone and my hair tie and I walked towards it picking my phone up to see if anyone had at least cared to check up on me.

Nothing.

No calls.

No texts.

Not even deleted messages.

"They couldn’t even pretend to give a shit about me.” I murmured to no one in particular digging into my purse to see how much I had left.

Only 500$.

That was it.

No cards. No house. No husband. No safety net.

How was I going to survive?

Where would I live?

"Okay. " I whispered. "Okay. You can do this."

I checked out of the hotel avoiding eye contact with the receptionist. I didn’t want her to recognize me as the “kidnapper sister” or worse judge me for how I looked.

The street of New York was bright and filled with people this morning, everyone minding their own business and I couldn’t be more grateful to blend in.

I roamed the streets till my feet began to ache and my vision began to blur but I couldn’t stop I had to find a place to live.

I finally found a run down motel that looked anything but safe but it’s the cheapest I could get at 60$ per night.

The room smelled like dust and mold. The sheets were thin. The mirror was cracked even the paint on the wall was peeling.

“Atleast there is a roof over my head.” I whispered to myself trying to find a bright side in all this. A roof that would last for less than 10 days that’s if I don’t feed.

“I need a job.” I whispered to myself as I walked out of the room I just got. I needed to find something to do even if it’s a job as a cleaner, I just needed something or I wouldn’t survive New York.

I walked out of the motel, looking for anywhere that said they were hiring. I saw a small cafe called Smex cafe and I walked into it.

The servers were hot men in shorts and tight T-shirts that made their muscles prominent and I could already guess that this job wasn’t for me seeing as I didn’t have muscles or a dick.

The second place I applied was a restaurant and the chef didn’t even let me complete my sentences as he denoted that I was too weak and dainty to be able to handle the heat that came with his kitchen.

The third was a job at a printing press and the receptionist seemed to hate me she just glanced at my face, then at the phone in her hand, ignoring me until I had no option than to leave.

By the fourth rejection, I stopped hoping.

By the sixth, my voice cracked.

By the tenth, I stopped going inside and just stood outside, reading signs that all seemed to say the same thing.

NO VACANCIES.

NOT HIRING.

COME BACK LATER.

Later never came.

Days blurred into weeks.

I survived on instant noodles and cheap stale bread that bakeries wanted to throw away. Sometimes just water and I could tell it was getting to me.

I had gone thinner, my eyes were sunken and sometimes when I stood up too fast everything became blurry and black.

Two weeks passed like that, me living of scraps and barely hanging on to survival. The 500$ I had was almost exhausted and if I lived another day without a job.

I wouldn’t be able to pay for the motel.

I continued my unfruitful walk down the road,my legs frail and shaking from starvation, which is expected because the last time I ate was two days ago.

My walk was cut short when I found this bakery, it was busy with customers coming in an exiting every second. The smell of fresh baked goods a welcoming song.

I thought about begging for stale bread but decided against it and instead chose to apply for a job instead.

The bakery was old almost vintage, it looked cozy and smelt like home. My stomach growled in hunger and I could only sigh as I walked towards the bakery

I pushed the door open the door bell chimed as I entered.

An elderly woman with stern looking eyes looked at me, her face twisted in a frown.

I swallowed. "Hi. I was wondering if you—"

She stared at me harder.

Then her eyes widened slightly.

"You," she said slowly.

I frowned. "I'm sorry?"

“You are the kind lady!” She exclaimed. “Last winter you helped me get home after I was robbed.” She added but I just stared at her trying to remember when this happened all the while slightly ashamed that an old lady has better memory than me.

She stepped closer, studying my face. "You look terrible." She whispered her face twisted in gentle judgment.

And as she said that it felt like the world suddenly tilted,my knees buckled forcing me to the ground.

The last thing I heard was her stern voice yelling for help.

Then darkness.

The smell of bread pulled me from my hungry sleep.It was warm and almost comforting.

For a moment, I felt like I had gone back to the days when life was normal and I didn’t have to eat scraps as food.

But the sharp pain in my head quickly reminded me that those days were gone.

I groaned softly trying to sit up from the soft sleeper chair. A wrinkled but firm hand pressed gently against my shoulders.

“Lie still!”

And I did laying back on the comfortable chair,which was more comfortable that the stupid motel bed.

The old woman stood above me, her arms crossed and her expression was unreadable.

“You starve yourself?” She asked directly not even trying to cut through corners.

“No..I’m fine.” I lied my voice cracking as I spoke.

“Shut up dearie,you are anything but fine you looking like an unfed animal.” she said as she sighed through her nose and turned away, walking towards her counter muttering something under her breath.

I caught a few words like, “stubborn”, “young people” “skin and bones.”

I couldn’t even feel insulted, because she cared more than anyone ever has.

When she walked back, she placed a tray on my lap.

It had bread, butter and a mug of tea.

My eyes clouded with unshed tears at the display of kindness

"I can’t…” My voice cracked. "I don't have money."

"I didn't ask for it, child" she said sternly. "Eat."

I hesitated, before I tore off a small piece of the bread and I chewed slowly, afraid that if I ate too fast I would vomit.

“You look like death danced over you ." She said her face serious.

My stomach twisted. "I've just been... stressed."

She snorted.

I swallowed hard.

“I called my friend’s child. She is a nurse.”

“Oh..you didn’t have to ma." I whispered extremely grateful to her.

"Well I already did," she replied simply.

She handed me a small white stick and I could only stare at it as my hands tightened around the mug.

“What is that?” I asked my voice shaking.

“Don’t act a fool” she said dryly. “Take it, the bathroom is over there.” She added tilting her head towards the bathroom

"I can't be pregnant.” I said quickly.

She tilted her head. "Why? Are you a virgin?" She asked smugly.

I opened my mouth.

Closed it.

Thought of Lucas. Of that night. Of how little time had passed. Of everything I'd lost since.

I took the strip from the old lady as I walked towards the bathroom my heart beating in my chest as I silently prayed that the result was positive.

I closed the door as I pulled out the strip from the packaging.

"You're fine," I whispered to myself. "You're just hungry, not pregnant."

I followed the instructions with shaky hands and set the stick on the counter as I closed my eyes silently hoping it was negative.

I Counted my breaths.

One.

Two.

Three.

I turned back.

The world tilted.

Two lines

"No…no…no.”