“He’s appearing in my dreams often these days,” I muttered, any sign of a joke gone, and that stupid, fucking weight was back on my chest again. I didn't need to tell her who, because she knew everything, from A to Z.
“Did any major change happen lately?” she asked, her voice sharp and professional. “Or even a minor change is acceptable.”I raised my right hand and showed her my ring finger. Her eyes widened when she saw my ring, but I just waved that look away. “We got married for business. Our fathers arranged this marriage. None of us had a choice.” I paused, swallowing. “But…”My words trailed off, hanging in the air, heavy and suffocating.“But?” Lucia pressed, an eyebrow raised.I swallowed again, scratching my fingers. Why the fuck was it so hard to voice out?“Take your time, Belladonna,” Lucia said, her voice soft and reassuring and I nodded, drawing in a deep breath before I continued.“But things have chaKade kissed like he was punishing me. His tongue thrust into my mouth as soon as my lips parted when I gasped in surprise, and his tongue was just as cruel as his lips as it curled around mine and sucked so hard that I moaned into his mouth. I grabbed his collar, but instead of pushing him off and putting an end to this, I dragged him close to me, deepening the kiss. He grunted in approval, dragging me off my seat and pressing my body flushed against his as he leaned against my desk, palming my ass. There was nothing soft in what we were doing, nothing gentle or affectionate. It was simply pure anger and hunger, pure need and guilt. The kiss was our way of communicating because we were both too cowardly to use our words. We were both too… scared. Words were like weapons, and they could ruin things, but when we were like this, our lips glued together, and our emotions going haywire, there were no words that could be used against us la
“He’s appearing in my dreams often these days,” I muttered, any sign of a joke gone, and that stupid, fucking weight was back on my chest again. I didn't need to tell her who, because she knew everything, from A to Z. “Did any major change happen lately?” she asked, her voice sharp and professional. “Or even a minor change is acceptable.”I raised my right hand and showed her my ring finger. Her eyes widened when she saw my ring, but I just waved that look away. “We got married for business. Our fathers arranged this marriage. None of us had a choice.” I paused, swallowing. “But…”My words trailed off, hanging in the air, heavy and suffocating. “But?” Lucia pressed, an eyebrow raised. I swallowed again, scratching my fingers. Why the fuck was it so hard to voice out? “Take your time, Belladonna,” Lucia said, her voice soft and reassuring and I nodded, drawing in a deep breath before I continued. “But things have cha
“And what does that mean, Belladonna?” Gianna asked, her voice soft, her gaze even softer. “‘For as long as it takes?’ That could mean all your life. Are you really willing to forsake your happiness and drown in guilt?” I slump down in my seat, burying my face in my hands. A weight sits on my chest, making it difficult to breathe. “I don't have a choice,” I whispered, my voice creaking at the edge. “And why do you think that?”“Because I'm the reason someone’s no longer alive,” I answered, the weight growing heavier as I spoke. “I had the misfortune of living, so I have to carry this weight. Since I've been cursed to carry on, then I have to carry this weight with me.”“Do you think Luca would want you to be this miserable?”My head whipped up and I looked at her with my teeth bared and eyes wide. I didn't know what I looked like right now, but I know I looked possessed. “Then why the fuck does he keep appearing in my dreams?!
I immediately covered my ears as soon as I heard that voice because I immediately knew; this was a nightmare. “Why won't you leave me alone?!” I screamed, my body shaking. It was a dream, and yet the fear I was feeling was too intense and realistic. “I get it. I'm the reason you’re dead, but this is also your fault. You didn't agree to let me go either. You chose to stay with me until the end. So why is this my fault? Why, Luca?” “You don't deserve to be happy,” the voice repeated, even colder now.“Don't you think I've suffered enough, Luca?” I whispered, now shaking as the cold seeped into my bones. “It’s been years, and I'm still suffering. Don't you think it's enough? You’ve been torturing me in my nightmare for so long, and I've never complained, but right now, I'm begging you, Luca. Let me have this. Please.”“You don't. Deserve. To be. Happy.” “Fuck you!” I screamed, tears streaming down my face. Was this really a drea
BELLADONNA I was drained. The last time I cried like that and let all my emotions out was that dreadful night. Since then, I had bottled up all my feelings and kept them in a tight lid, making sure nothing escaped. But tonight… Fuck, tonight was a lot. I had a bad feeling as soon as Papa invited me to dinner. I should have listened to my gut and turned him down. But I was stupid and too soft and so I paid for it. But what I didn't expect was to find comfort in Kade’s arms. I didn't expect his softness, how he had handled me like I was made of glass. At that moment, he was all I felt, all I could smell, and it almost felt like it was just us two in this vast world, and the dark alleyway didn't even help matters. His soft words, his ragged breath, his raspy voice, his gentle touches and pats, they were a little overwhelming but I don't think I would have gotten through this night without him.
Kross was silent. A minute passed. Then two. I sighed, rubbing my face. “Don't judge me, man.”“Who says I'm judging?”“That silence can only be described as you judging.”“I wasn't judging. I was just shocked. What happened to coming back after five years?”“Hey, who says I'm not coming back?”I could almost see him raising his eyebrow as he said, “You think you could divorce her and leave if your feelings for her grow deep?”“Who says my feelings are going to grow deep?”“Cut that bullshit, Kade. We both know it would.”I sighed again, resting my back against a wall and slumping down until I was sitting on the ground, my knees drawn up and my head hung low, my phone on my shoulder. “You’re not helping, man.”“This is a matter regarding your heart. How am I supposed to help?”“I don't know, man! Talk me out of it or something!” He fell silent, and I knew he was pressing his