Chapter 5

Jocelyn

"Can you at least tell me what I did?" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

I just wanted to know what I did wrong and if there was anything I could do to mend our partnership, if anything. Of course, I would be crushed if we couldn't remain friends or intimate partners after what he laid on me, but I could live with that.

What I couldn't live with was losing one more valuable person in my life. I couldn't live with having to figure out a way to split the company or work together in a hostile environment. And, by the tension and the absolute loathing I saw in his gaze, it would be hostile.

"I promise I will leave and, if needed, I'll come up with a creative solution to stay away from you. I'll go work at the new building if I have to." I didn't care if I had to make the drive. "Please, just tell me what injustice I have caused to make you look at me like this." Maybe there was a simple explanation I could give and all of this would blow over?

"You're a cheater," he growled under his breath. "You cheated on Caleb back in high school. The moment we graduated, you couldn't stop yourself," he accused, the disgust so evident in his voice he was convinced I had, indeed, cheated.

The instant he spoke the first few words, I knew exactly what he was talking about.

Riley had come back and spoken with him. He had spread his misinformation and was continuing to make my life a living hell. And I understood where he was coming from. Which was why I continued to allow him to spread such information without first setting the president that what had happened had been a teenager's naive mistake.

"And here I thought you were better than that," he snapped, running an agitated hand through his hair. I dropped my gaze and took his anger, his hurt and disappointment. As if I deserved all of this and more. If this was karma coming back for vengeance for my luck in life--for living when it should have been me who died that night--then so be it. If having this wonderful man in my life wasn't supposed to happen, then I would have to live with that.

It took a few tries for me to get any words past my dry mouth. I forced the tears to stay at bay. I would take this with my head high and bear the weight of this quietly. I could cry when I was safely tucked away in my room, where no one else would see me break down. "Okay," I breathed, lifting my gaze up to his. "I understand. Thank you for telling me." My words took him by surprise. He must have been expecting me to come back with some type of explanation, or excuses. However, I hadn't offered that when I'd asked him to tell me what had changed between us. "On Monday, we can figure out the best path forward when working together. I understand if you would like a third party to communicate between us, which I will be happy to arrange," I continued on diplomatically, emotionally and physically distancing myself.

Vincent reflexively took a step forward and then paused. Confusion warred on his face. "That's it?" He snapped.

"I wasn't under the impression you wanted to hear my side," I replied calmly. "From the looks of it, you've already made up your mind and have already passed judgment."

He chewed on his bottom lip for a moment and I couldn't stop the hope that spread through my chest at the possibility of telling my side of the story. It may not change anything. However, it could change everything. And I was willing to take that risk if he gave me the opportunity. "You're right. I did allow my emotions to pass judgment without hearing your side. I would like to hear what happened from you, if you are willing to share it with me."

I nodded. "I would like to."

He stepped aside and allowed me to enter his home. We made our way to the kitchen where we sat down facing each other at the island.

"So, what happened between you and Riley?" He asked directly, after setting both a glass of water and a shot of whiskey in front of me.

Tipping the whiskey back, and making a face as the liquid burned my gullet, I coughed, "Dumb growing pains is what happened." His smirk at how I handled the whiskey wasn't lost on me. "I met Riley my Junior year of high school. Obviously, the year after you two graduated. He was new to the school, didn't have a lot of friends. We were assigned the same desk for the first trimester of biology and we hit it off as friends. Or, at least that's how I took it." I added. "I treated him as I did any other friend." With that, I pointedly looked at him and I saw the dawning understanding in his gaze. "I was still new to the whole dating scene. Caleb was my first, and we had only been together for a year. Which, for a high schooler, that is a significant amount of time," I admitted. However, that wasn't the point. "You know some of my childhood history. While I didn't necessarily have brothers, I was close to and grew up with several cousins who acted like brothers. I was used to the spats, the arguments, and the random acts of affection. I also knew that personal space meant nothing to them. If I was sitting on the sofa watching a movie, they would suddenly appear and either start some sh*t or just come snuggle with me. I didn't know any better when it came to treating someone else like that. I treated them as I did everyone else, including you, Caleb's close buddies and my cousins. No one ever told me it wasn't okay, that it would be seen as flirting or leading someone on. I just thought it was normal interaction when accepting one into your friend's circle to allow that person to seek hugs whenever he wanted them, or to allow him to lay his head in my lap during lunch breaks and talk about life and the future. We didn't speak about our future together or anything. It was always our separate futures.

"I understand I made a stupid mistake in high school, one I made sure to never make again afterwards. However, high school is where we are allowed to make mistakes and to learn from them. I know I broke his heart, but we never did anything. We never kissed. Never were intimate in that kind of way. Back then, I didn't know how to make it better. Whenever I tried to talk with him, it would always end in hostility. And, I felt like there wasn't anything more I could do. And yes," I said, anticipating Vincent's next question. "I told Caleb about it the moment I realized my naive mistake."

"Riley said it went further, though," he pressed, not believing my story in its entirety.

"What did he say we did?" I was honestly curious to know. There was no way to refute whatever he claimed happened. It would simply be just his word against mine.

Vincent frowned. "You know, he never specified."

"Hmm. Maybe he's talking more about the intimacy of our conversations. They did tend to get deep and very personal. Especially when he spoke about his home life. He also seemed touch-starved and was always seeking some kind of touch. A hug. Laying his head in my lap. Sitting so close beside me that our shoulders touched." I could go on, but he got the picture.

"Maybe," Vince agreed.

And then silence descended. It didn't take but a few seconds for me to determine I didn't need to be here anymore. Vince had both sides. He could determine what he wanted to believe or not and how our relationship, moving forward, would look like. "Thank you, for listening," I told him as I stood up and made my way to the front door. Vincent followed behind quietly.

When I stepped outside, he said, "I don't really know where we stand. I need some time to think everything over."

"I understand. Take your time. I will respect your decision." And with that, I left.

I kept it together until I got home. The instant I was inside, the dam broke, and I ended up a sobbing mess on the floor. Vincent was really the only lifeline I had left to my late husband. Yet, he wasn't just that anymore. He wasn't just a reminder, he had quickly become part of my future. A future where I saw myself healing from the pain and wounds of my past.