INICIAR SESIÓN"That went well," Adrian said.He said it quietly, in the back of the car, with his head against the seat and his eyes half closed. The city went past the window in long gold streaks. The driver kept his gaze on the road, as he always did, and the glass partition was up, and for a few blocks neither of us spoke."It did," I said."I haven't seen him like that in a long time." He turned his head toward me. In the passing light, his face looked younger, softened, almost boyish. "So at ease. He used to be that way when we were small. Before everything.""He was lovely.""He's trying so hard." Adrian let out a breath that was half a laugh. "I think that's what I forget. I keep waiting for him to be a threat. And he's only a man who wants his brother to be proud of him."I looked out the window.It was a clear night. The shopfronts were dark and the streetlamps lit the wet pavement like rows of small moons. I watched them go by, one after another, and I said nothing, because every word I h
He had set the table for three.That was the first thing I noticed, in the doorway of his flat, with the cold still on my coat and Adrian's hand warm at the small of my back. A small round table by the window, a white cloth, three plates, three glasses, a single candle already lit. And beside each plate, a folded card with a name on it.*Elena.*I looked at it for a moment too long."You came," Daniel said.He'd crossed the room before I'd taken off my scarf. He was in shirtsleeves, with a tea towel over one shoulder, and he looked so delighted to see me that I felt it like a physical thing, warm and unguarded, aimed straight at the middle of my chest."You came," he said again, and took both my hands. "I was so afraid you wouldn't. I'd have understood. I made a complete mess of that coffee.""It wasn't a mess.""It was a *fiasco.*" He grinned at Adrian over my shoulder. "Tell her. I've been unbearable all week.""He has," Adrian said, with great dignity. "He's rung me four times to a
By morning, I had almost talked myself out of it.I'd done it the only way I knew, which was slowly, like a woman packing a suitcase she doesn't mean to carry. I hadn't slept. I'd sat at the kitchen table until the window greyed, and I'd gone through it point by point, in my head, in a voice that sounded very reasonable.*It's handwriting.*That was the first thing. Handwriting was not proof. A policeman wouldn't take it. A court would laugh. Half the men in the city had been taught to write by the same strict schoolmasters, at the same grey desks, with the same ruled paper. Neat, upright, slightly backward. A closed *o.* A lifted tail. It was a style, not a signature. There must be hundreds of them.*There must be thousands.*I'd gone up to my father's study at dawn with the card and the film in my hand, and I'd stood a long time in the cold, looking at the shelves. Then I'd slid them both inside the pages of an old atlas, on the lowest row, between Africa and the Americas, where nob
"I need to go home," I said.Adrian looked up. He was standing at the far end of the table with the last of the film sheets in his hand, and the lamp lit one side of his face and left the other in shadow. He hadn't pressed me since I'd said I'd seen the hand before. I hadn't been able to say more. I couldn't."Is it the hand?""I don't know yet.""You said you'd seen it.""I think I have." I was already reaching for my coat. My fingers were clumsy, and I couldn't make the sleeve find my arm. "I need to check something. Something I've got at the house. And if I'm wrong, I don't want to have said it out loud.""Elena.""If I'm wrong, it's a name I'd have to take back." I looked at him. "And I don't think I can. Not once it's been said."He was silent for a moment. His eyes were steady and grey, and I saw him weigh it, the old reflex, the instinct to press, to ask, to fix. I saw him set it down."All right," he said."I'm sorry. I know what I promised.""You promised to tell me what you
We read it like a letter from a stranger.That was Adrian's phrase. He'd laid the pages out on the long table in order, one after another, enlarged to twice their size on heavy white paper, with a magnifier on a stand at one end and a pot of coffee going cold at the other. He had pushed his sleeves to the elbow. The lamp was pulled low. For a long time, neither of us said anything at all."Forget what you know," he said at last. "Forget what it means. Look at it the way you'd look at a page in a language you can't read.""Which part?""The part that isn't numbers."I bent over the first sheet.It had been photographed in the dark, in a hurry, with a phone and a shaking hand. I remembered it exactly. The close air of a half-lit office, a shower running somewhere down a hall, and his thumb pressed hard against the edge of the page to keep it flat. The numbers marched down the left in a cramped, slanting hand. I knew that hand. I'd seen it on a thousand grocery lists and birthday cards a
My mother's address book was a small blue thing with a broken clasp.She brought it to me herself, the next morning, in a taxi, and stood in the hall with it clutched against her chest, looking older than she had a week ago. I took her into the kitchen and put the kettle on, and she sat down at the table with her coat still buttoned and set the book in front of me like a gift she wasn't sure I'd want."It's in there," she said. "Under his name. I looked all night.""Thank you.""I should have looked years ago.""Mom.""I know. I know." She pressed her lips together. "Open it."I opened it. The pages were soft, and covered in her round, looping hand, names in blue ink, numbers in black, some crossed out and rewritten. I turned to the letter. There it was, between a dentist and a dressmaker. A name I didn't write down. A number. And an address, in a hand I'd have known anywhere, tall and slanting and quick.That was the strange thing. It wasn't my mother's writing. It was his."He wrote







