5: Her first change

*Cathwulf*

 I look at myself in the mirror, smiling at my reflection. I am wearing no makeup, my hair hanging loose and I am only wearing a rope of white silk…and by only I mean no underwear. These are the instructions I have been given. I guess it has to do with the transformation going more smoothly with no clothes in the way.

 Tonight I will go through the rituals and change into my wolf self for the first time…and hopefully imprint on a mate. I almost can’t wait.

 I am happy that my family is here for me, they are all proud of me, but it will only be my mom and Alaric attending the ceremony, the others are too young, just as it is of course my first time being there too… you can’t participate before your first change.

 “Maybe brown… a pretty chocolate”. I mumble to myself, wondering what colour of wolf I will be. There are different shades of grey and brown, those are the… common colours. Then there are black wolves, which are rare..and mostly high ranking wolves are black. There are also white wolves... but there hasn’t been a new white wolf in decades.

 There are of course myths of even rarer colours ... golden wolves, the moon wolf, which is silver as created by moonlight... and the illusive opal queen of wolves... but I am pretty sure those are fairy tales for wolves cubs, like human kids dreaming about being rock stars.

 Taking a deep breath I walk downstairs, where I am greeted by my family, who all congratulate and hug me. Telling me I look beautiful.

 Lyca hands me a gift-wrapped present. “Time to open your special gift”.

 I have already gotten a bunch of presents at dinner, little things my family has picked for me and that I value immensely, knowing they are given with love.

 “Oh thank you so much... you didn’t have to get me anything special. The things I already have are more than enough”. I am so excited to open the gift. I love gifts and my family always gives the best ones.

 “It’s probably not very valuable... but very special”. She gives me a small smile. “This was attached to the blanket you were found wrapped in... I kept it and had it cleaned for you”.

 I feel my heart beat faster… It is something from when I was found. Most likely something my parents wanted me to have. The only things I have from them is the blanket I was wrapped in and a small wolf teddy. I slowly remove the paper from the gift.

 “Oh”. It leaves me as a gasp as I open the small velvet box… It is a golden necklace with a round pendant… the pendant is black onyx and mother of pear, showing a moon and three stars in the night sky.

 Everyone wants to see it and Lyca gently touches my shoulder. “I don’t know if it means anything… but I thought you were old enough to have it now”.

 I hug her tightly. “Thanks mom, it’s beautiful... I love it so much”.

 “You are welcome…and now it’s time for your ritual. Don’t get scared sweetie, we have all been through it, it is how the moon Goddess has demanded it. And remember no matter what... I am proud of you”. She smiles at me and I know she is telling the truth... even if I turn out to be just the most plain grey wolf, she will still be proud and love me.

 We say goodbye to all my younger siblings and start the walk through the forest to the secret spot, where my first change will happen.

 When we reach the clearing by the lake the whole pack is already waiting there. Or everyone who has had their first change. I notice that most of the un-mated males are eyeing me curiously.

 Everyone is wearing capes, but I am the only one wearing a white Cape. Everyone else is wearing brown, red or black, signifying their rank in the pack. The alpha will be wearing the silver moonlight cape.

We step out into the middle of the circle, and I feel my heart racing like crazy... I am not sure what is going to happen here… every pack has its own rituals, I have been told... and you are of course not allowed to know anything before your own first change.

 The Alpha emerges from the throng, looking almost like a King as he steps over to us and holds out his hand to me. Lyca nods encouragingly and whispers. “Come on... go with him… it is time”.

 I let him take my hand and he leads me up on the dais where there is what looks like a stone altar. “Cathwulf Pureheart... are you ready for your first change ? Ready to join the wolf ranks ?”

 “Yeah”. I mumble shyly. I mean I have no idea what will happen, so I am both nervous and a bit scared. The alpha is a harsh man, who always intimidated me.

 “Then show us your true self”. He kinda throws out his arms and two of the younger females step up and take hold of my robe. I realise they are going to pull it off me, leaving me naked in front of the whole pack.

 First I feel like covering myself up, I mean there are about 70 people looking at my naked body and I do not feel comfortable at all. But then they start chanting and a moment later the clouds slide apart, revealing I will do my first change on a blue moon... that's supposed to be a really good sign, so is having a full moon on your 18th birthday.

 I look at the moon, trying to connect to her and forget the embarrassment of being naked. A weird feeling starts running through me... like something taking me over, trying to burst out of me.

 My body starts shaking and I fall down on my knees, to say it doesn’t hurt would be a lie.. it is like my body is ripped apart from the inside... but at the same time the power surging through me feels amazing.

 I am happy that it only takes a couple of minutes though. I throw my head back howling at the moon, feeling free in a whole new way.

 But no one joins in and  first then I realise that everyone has gone completely silent... just staring at me.