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Chapter 7

Author: Arya Sue
"The doctor said... it's not good." My lips trembled, and the smile I gave looked worse than crying. "There's a shadow on my lung. I need further testing."

I set the report down and stared at the camera for a long time.

"Robbie." I said his name once, then shook my head and let it drop.

In the final piece of footage, I was sitting on a hospital bed, the wall behind me a blinding white, the curtain a pale blue. I was wearing a hospital gown washed so many times its color had faded to nothing,
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  • What Robbie McAvoy Didn't Know   Chapter 9

    Robbie looked up."You never loved me. Did you?"He didn't answer. Silence was answer enough.Whitney gave a small smile—one with both bitterness and relief tangled into it. Then she shut the door and left.Robbie curled into the corner of the study, holding the camera against his chest, clutching it tight. Like it was the last reason he had left to keep living.After the divorce, his health kept deteriorating. He stopped eating. Some days, he'd take only a single sip of water. Other days, not even that. He grew unrecognizably thin, his eyes huge and hollow, the shape of his bones visible through his skin. His face turned an ashen gray, his lips cracked and bleeding.He started coughing. At first, it was just an occasional cough here and there. But it got more frequent, more violent, until every fit left him gasping for a long time afterward just to catch his breath.One morning, he sat up on the couch and was seized by a sudden, violent coughing fit. It doubled him over, wracke

  • What Robbie McAvoy Didn't Know   Chapter 8

    "Selena, I'm sorry..."Selena, I'm sorry..."Robbie repeated the words over and over, his voice fraying from hoarse to raw.The wind blew past, tousling his hair. It blew through my soul too.I drifted over to him and crouched down. I reached out and gently ran my fingers through his hair. My hand passed through the strands—no touch, no weight—but he seemed to feel something anyway. His body flinched, and he lifted his head, looking around.He saw nothing."It's okay," I said softly. The wind carried my voice away, and he didn't hear it.But something in him seemed to catch it anyway. His whole body went rigid."Selena... is that you?" He asked the empty air, his voice trembling like a candle flame in the wind.No one answered. He couldn't hear me anymore.I stood up and turned around. My mother stood in the light not far off, smiling, arms open toward me. Her smile was gentle as sunlight on still water.I ran to her as fast as I could. I threw myself into her arms, and she

  • What Robbie McAvoy Didn't Know   Chapter 7

    "The doctor said... it's not good." My lips trembled, and the smile I gave looked worse than crying. "There's a shadow on my lung. I need further testing."I set the report down and stared at the camera for a long time."Robbie." I said his name once, then shook my head and let it drop.In the final piece of footage, I was sitting on a hospital bed, the wall behind me a blinding white, the curtain a pale blue. I was wearing a hospital gown washed so many times its color had faded to nothing, my hair thinned enough to show my scalp. My face had wasted down to bone, my skin sallow, my lips bloodless. But I still forced out a smile."Robbie." My voice was so faint, like a feather caught in the wind. "I saw you today."Robbie's pupils contracted sharply.I went on, slowly. "You were walking down the hallway in your white coat. A group of interns were gathered around you, and you were teaching them something. You looked so impressive. So confident." I paused a while. "You've become a

  • What Robbie McAvoy Didn't Know   Chapter 6

    The camera sat on his desk, its dark lens pointed straight at him. He couldn't bring himself to turn it on. He didn't dare see what came next.The days passed. Robbie kept going to the hospital, kept coming home for dinner, same as always. But he grew quieter and quieter. He'd sit in the study for hours at a time, just staring blankly at the camera. He didn't know what he was so afraid of, but he never found the courage to open it and watch the rest.Whitney asked if something had gone wrong at work. He said no. He didn't touch the camera again.Not until that day. Not until he stumbled across a clip from Jim's interview. In it, the host had asked him which patient had left the deepest impression on him. Jim fell silent for a long time before he answered."My worthless daughter."Robbie sat there and watched that clip—barely twenty seconds long—more than fifty times, over and over, as if he were trying to confirm something, as if he were searching for even the smallest sign that J

  • What Robbie McAvoy Didn't Know   Chapter 5

    The camera had originally been mine, meant to document Grandma Maggie's treatment. It had recorded, in detail, everything I'd done to prepare for her surgery. I'd planned to give it to her once she recovered, a keepsake to look back on. I never imagined it would end up as my last testimony instead.Robbie's hand was shaking when he took the camera. He carried it home and set it on the table, staring at it for a long, long time. In the kitchen, Whitney was cooking, the sound of her spatula scraping against the pan drifting through the apartment. Robbie didn't get up to help. He just sat there, still as a statue.Eventually, he pressed play.The moment the screen lit up, my face appeared on it, smiling wide, eyes crinkled with joy. Robbie's breath caught.On screen, I said, "Today's March twelfth. I had a meeting with my mentor and a few colleagues." My voice was light, full of hope. I explained that Grandma Maggie's condition wasn't great, but there was still hope. I flashed a t

  • What Robbie McAvoy Didn't Know   Chapter 4

    "But she'll never hear any of it now," Jim said.Robbie's movements stilled for a moment. He swept a cold glance over my father's face.Jim seemed lost in some private grief, his voice heavy. "Tomorrow I'm taking Selena's ashes and leaving the country. If there's anything you still want to say to her, you can find her at the cemetery on the west side of town..."Robbie stood rooted to the spot, the overhead light washing his face pale. He didn't know how long he'd been standing there when the anesthesiologist's hesitant voice pulled him back."What did Dr. Hartley mean by that? Now that I think about it, I really haven't heard anything about Selena in a long time."Robbie shed his scrubs, his expression settling back into its usual indifference. He hung the garment on the rack, his tone mocking. "A woman like her always had a flair for the dramatic. Though I do need to take tomorrow off—to go to the cemetery on the west side of town.""To... confirm something?"Robbie lowered hi

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