Chapter Eleven

Farhan awoke with a sharp pain at his temple and an awful taste in his mouth, the room looked dark but from the sounds outside he guessed it was already day break. His whole body ached as he struggled to sit up, getting to his feet, he proceeded to perform his ablution and perform his salaat, he couldn’t remember the last time he missed the morning congregational prayers, the whole change was affecting him badly, judging from how he was feeling, he seemed to be coming down with a cold, since that Risha girl had emptied a whole bucket of cold water on him. About 20mins later he was ready for work, all the time his stomach gnawing with hunger, he couldn’t remember ever feeling this hungry in his entire life, he had gone to bed with a very empty stomach, to his disgust, he had discovered that the stores in the neighbourhood hardly stayed open beyond the Maghreb prayer, he missed his own lively neighbourhood, yes the areas was definitely over populated and noisy but it was lively also you could buy almost anything even in the late hours of the night, here in this so called rich neighbourhood, no such luxuries existed. By 7:30am he was ready to leave, he would pass her room quickly and silently hoping she was still asleep, he was not in any condition to stand her childishness. At the parlour down stairs, he perceived a nice aroma from the dining table and to his surprise, she was sitting there eating. From the way she was dressed and the heavy make ups she had on, it looked like she was going somewhere. He looked at her hoping she would invite him to join her.

Risha stopped when he walked down, she noticed he was staring at her, “the fool” she thought, “he didn’t look so good this morning, his tie was out of place and didn’t even match the suit he was wearing, his silky hair was uncombed and he looked tired. She smiled contented with what she saw.

When she didn’t say anything or invite him to join her as he had hoped, he made his way toward the door.

“Stop there” her voice lashed out “did I not tell you yesterday that you are to greet when you see me?”

He turned slowly. To study her for a few seconds as if contemplating what to say. She could tell he was struggling with his emotions. His face clouded but he said nothing.

“Well?” she demanded, flashing him a hard look

“Good morning, hope you rested well” he said

“Bad morning to you,” she replied standing up, “hope you had a bad night”

Involuntarily he smiled at her statement, he decided to play along. “It was terrible thank you”

“What did I say about smiling in front of me?” she fired up, angry in an instant.

“Was she always this angry or is it just towards me?” he wondered. He closed his eyes a little to minimize the headache he was feeling. Deciding that he didn’t need to answer that, he turned walked out ignoring her.

Risha watched as he walked away still smiling, leaving her angry and provoked as usual, “what is it about this idiot that always gets me so upset?” She wondered trying to calm her nerves. Today was a big day for her and she didn’t intend to ruin it. It was her final day as a youth corps member. After today, she was a certified doctor. Not that she cared that much for earning a useless certificate, she had only studied medicine because that was mother’s wish… at that thought, she closed her eyes as sadness engulfed her entire being. “Mother,” she whispered “I have fulfilled my promise, are you proud of me?” a tear now flowed down her beautiful cheek unchecked. At the moment, she looked nothing like the ice lady every one despised and feared. No, she looked weak, troubled, hurt, innocent and in pain. Slowly, she walked toward the giant television stand and picked up a seemingly hidden portrait that lay facing down. “Mother I miss you so much” allowing her tears to flow unchecked, she held the portrait to her chest affectionately, the pain in her heart becoming almost unbearable. She heard a sound, startled she turned to see him there staring at her in shock and evident disbelieve. “What the hell was he doing here?” She thought, “hadn’t he gone already?” quickly, she turned her back to him, using her sleeves to dab at her tears. Carefully, she returned the frame to its early position, taking deep breaths, she fought to get her emotions under control. “He must not think I am weak; he should never see me like this…” but when she turned, he was gone. She blinked in surprise; she heard no sound to indicate that he had used the door. “What is wrong with me” she thought getting angry at her own clumsiness. “Mummy doesn’t deserve this, this day belongs to her, I should not be crying, she thought making up her mind.

With that thought in mind, she put on her dark shade goggles, breathe deeply and was ready for her day. Once again, every inch the dreaded ice queen.

Farhan drove absent minded, deep in thought. “What was all that about?” he kept asking himself he had never imagined a girl like her had tears in her being not to talk more of crying, she looked so different, so lonely, so much like the child she really was.

“What has made her so cold?” he wondered, until a few minutes ago when he had stepped in the parlour and saw her like that, he had totally made up his mind that she was a some crazy, spoiled and obsessed or more appropriately possessed rich kid. But what now he wasn’t so sure…he hadn’t really given a detailed thought to the kind of person she was; he had been too stunned for that, but now his reluctance had been replaced by a certain kind of curiosity. “What had she been looking at?” he kept wondering, “it looked like a portrait, but whose?”

Although not been certain about all these, he was certain about one thing, “this girl wasn’t who she pretended to be.” He didn’t know why, but he felt sure of that one thought. He smiled a little and whispered to himself, as his car approached his work place. “Maybe she’s not so bad.”

“Don’t count on it” his own sceptical mind responded warning him. “All that glitters is not gold”

“Yes, and all that is golden does not glitter” he thought smiling at the irony of the thought. But by the time he got to the entrance, all thought about her was forgotten and the only thing he could think about was one thing, “FOOD!!!”

The sun was at its mid, scorching hot, the wind blew slowly, too slow to calm the effect of the heat on the hundreds of students standing around, some stood in lines, awaiting their clearance, others were scattered around in small groups conversing, many held their sweaters in their hands, some had it tied around their waist. It had been cold in the morning; hence most had dressed up heavily. It was a rowdy scene as people moved around excitedly, old friends catching up, guys doing the usual wooing and teasing the ladies, sellers moving around in efforts to sell their goods.

Risha hated such gatherings to the fullest, it forced her to be in the company of such “low lives” as she termed them left to her, she would have preferred schooling abroad, but daddy wouldn’t let her. She sat under the shade of the umbrella tree scrolling through her phone, a few ladies sat close to her all dressed in their NYSC uniforms. They had been conversing in their lady fashion, Risha ignored them totally as if they were non-existent as far as she was concerned all they good for was gossip.

“You know, I really love him” one of the girls was saying.

“You keep saying that, Zainab, but these days, I wonder whether you are trying to convince yourself or others, two years ago, I would have believed you, but not any more girl” one of her companions replied.

The girl called Zainab just smiled sadly and said, “let me deceive myself Aisha, it’s all I can do now, if leave him where do I start from? We have courted three years now, my parents literarily see him as family, no one will support my decision, all my parents want for me now is to get married, I am lucky they even let me finish my degree programme.

“But you have to think of yourself also” Aisha was saying seriously, “It’s not sensible for you to marry someone you know is a bad person”

“I don’t think he is a bad person; he wasn’t like this at the beginning, he had been really nice, caring attentive and loving. I don’t know what changed and sometimes I feel it’s me, because he is still nice to other people, just not me. I have given this a lot of thought, but I just can’t understand him anymore” Zainab replied sadly.

“I feel for you sis” another whispered consolingly, pray about it, things might get better.”

“I hope so, I really do” Zainab said smiling determinedly.

“It won’t get better girls” Risha announced not even bothering to look away from her phone. She had not intended to intrude in their discussion, but she just could not stand such stupidity and ignorance. “Men are like union, they are all the same, layer after layer, when you get to a new layer it looks good at first, but just give it time, and it’s as rough as before.” She continued still looking at her phone.

The girl called Zainab looked hurt “How heartless you are” she said weakly when she finally could speak.

Risha raised her head slowly to stare at the girl “maybe I am heartless, but it doesn’t mean I am wrong, you all want people to pat you on the shoulder and tell you what you want to hear. Well girl, that won’t help you much, what you need to hear is the truth and the facts on ground.” Risha continued, pinning the girl with her sharp daring gaze. “this so-called guy of yours doesn’t love you, when you claim to love something, you value it above all else, how could you even still call him your fiancé if he treats you like you say he does? Guys behave like that when they feel trapped or when they feel superior to the girl they are dating” Risha paused a little to observe her nails. “You are angry at him aren’t you?” She asked the stunned girl.

Ashamed, Zainab looked down to hide the truth of Risha’s statement.

“You feel low, inferior and insignificant don’t you?” Risha continued enjoying the effect her words were having. “You appreciate him for being nice to others, yet you despise the fact that he is rarely nice to you, right? You feel anger and frustration and you want to express yourself right? Risha asked smiling a little.

The girl raised her head, grief evident on her face, slowly, she nodded at Risha.

“Then why don’t you?” Risha asked a little affectionately now.

“Because I am scared I will lose him, because I am terrified he will leave me” Zainab answered.

“You lost him the day you refrained from speaking your mind, from expressing yourself, from being the real you, you lost him because you have lost your true self and I think that is who he fell in love with, the real you” Risha commented expertly.

Everyone in the little group had become quiet, attentively listening as Risha spoke, subconsciously; some nodded in approval to what she was saying. Zainab looked very weak at the moment.

“What should I do” she asked revealing her helplessness.

“Knock him on the head with the hill of your shoes.” Risha commented nonchalantly, everyone laughed at the supposed joke, little did they know the crazy girl wasn’t joking at all. “Regain your real self” Risha continued, you are not bad looking at all, so don’t let any joker make you feel low, don’t ever let someone’s opinion of you determine how you perceive yourself. So, the next time that guy annoys you or treats you wrong, make a conscious effort to give him a piece of your mind, express yourself without fear, if he is dumb enough to leave because you speak up, then the fool never deserved you in the first place, you dump him before he has a chance to do it to you” she said in a conclusive way, signalling the end of the discussion.

“But my parents,” the girl said weakly, “they won’t understand, they won’t let me. Besides, they know what is best for me, right?” The girl said as if asking herself also.

“The wisdom of parents is overrated trust me” Risha said like some expert. “You are the one who will be living with this guy not them, if he is indeed a wrong choice, you suffer the consequences not them, this marriage stuff is a lifelong commitment, believe me, you don’t want to spend it with the wrong person. The way I see it, your parents are more worried of their reputation taking a downturn, than they love you. My advice is, if they try to force you into marrying somebody that you are convinced is not right for you, walk away from them, if not, you will just end up hating them in the end and that’s far worse believe me.”

The girl Zainab smiled genuinely for the first. “Thanks a lot sis, I will give that a try”

In response, Risha just nodded, her attention already on her phone again. The other girls observed her curiously, some smiling in admiration of her ideals, others looking clearly impressed, some looking just a bit envious.

Risha didn’t even bother sparing a single glance at their direction, her thoughts already occupied with her latest hubby, “how to hurt a husband”.