Chapter 4

Lily came back to the abbey on the fourth evening after she'd left. Her shoes were caked with mud, and a letter was pressed to her chest.

I recognized my father's handwriting at once. It was always neat and precise, never the slightest bit hurried.

He wrote that he had looked into the precedents from the late king's reign. There were three instances of royal consorts requesting permission to leave the palace. The Royal Council had complete records of all three cases, including the necessary paperwork.

All I had to do was write a formal petition explaining my decision. My family could submit it to the Royal Council on my behalf, citing those precedents and requesting that my name be removed from the royal household rolls.

At the end of the letter, my father had added, "If this is truly what you have decided, I won't stop you."

I sat by the lamp with the letter in my hands. The wick crackled, and the flame flickered.

That night, I spread out a sheet of paper and wrote my petition.

Beatrice helped me refine the wording. I cited the precedents from the late king's reign and kept the tone respectful, with reasons that would stand up to scrutiny.

I wrote that I had come to the abbey for prayer and to recover my health. During my time here, I had found peace in a quiet life of devotion. I now wished to make the abbey my permanent home.

When I finished, I read the petition. Every word was measured and proper. There was nothing anyone could fault.

I folded the petition, placed it in an envelope, and handed it to Lily.

"Take it down the mountain first thing tomorrow. Give it directly to my father and have him submit it as an official petition to the Royal Council."

Lily took the petition but did not move. She knelt beside me and wrapped her arms around my knees. "Your Grace, once this petition is submitted, you can never return to the palace."

I looked down at her and gently brushed the loose strands of hair from her forehead. "Who said I wanted to go back?"

Lily cried so hard she could barely catch her breath.

I didn't try to comfort her. Instead, I got up, went to the dressing table, and removed the ruby hairpin from my hair.

It was a gift from Edward on the day of his coronation. He had said it was one of a kind, and no other like it could be found anywhere in the realm.

I set it on the dressing table, replaced it with a plain wooden pin, and smoothed my hair while looking into the mirror.

My reflection looked calm. My face hadn't changed much. It looked the same as it had in Rosewood Court.

Lily told me that the palace was busy preparing a banquet for Lady Winona. Edward had personally reviewed the menu and even ordered the glass in every wall sconce in the main hall to change to Lady Winona's favorite shade of pale yellow.

Her father and brother had also received invitations and would arrive at the palace the following day.

It was just as grand as the banquet held for me when I became a royal consort.

Lily kept sneaking glances at me as she spoke, watching for my reaction.

I said nothing.

After Lily left, I sat alone in my room, copying sacred text.

Outside the window, the moonlight was cold and clear, and the wind through the pines sounded like the rolling sea.

Edward was far away in the palace, unaware that I had just removed the hairpin he had given me.

While he was arranging a banquet for Lady Winona, my petition was already on its way to the Royal Council. After the Royal Council reviewed it, it would be sent to the Royal Secretariat.

By the time it went through all the formalities and reached Edward, the decision would already be final.