The scene I reached last time was a spicy scene near the climax of the book, where the heroine, who is desperate for the hero’s touch, finally admits to him that she’s ready. That she’s desperate for him. I knew I had to stop here or I wouldn’t be ableto get to sleep, but as I delve in, suddenly the heroine is no longer who I am picturing in my mind.It’s me.And the hero is Rhett, looming over me, his jaw sharp, his cheekbones chiseled, his voice gravelly and strong.“If I teach you, it won’t be like my tennis lessons. I won’t be able to take things slow with you. There won’t be any beginner lessons. We’ll jump right into the advanced classes.”I close my eyes and let his words sink into me.“You’re mine,”he growled, slamming the door behind him as he walked toward her, his eyes flaming with desire. “Say it to me.”“I’m yours,” she whimpered, scared but also elated by the pure lust in his gaze.Slowly, my hand begins to drift beneath the covers, as if moving on its own. Without me eve
CASSANDRAI skip breakfast.I skip lunch. I haven’t been able to think about anything all day.Anything other than Rhett.I sit at on the edge of my velvet window seat, one leg hanging lazily off. I’m still wearing the silk white nightgown I slept in as I gaze out the window at the misty day, arms crossed over my chest. I can’t decide if I am cold or hot. The weather is chilly, but my heart has been pounding all day, driving a warmth through my body.That’s all Rhett’s fault too.He kissed me.He kissed me like I belonged to him. Like he couldn’t breathe without me. He leaned in, nearly hypnotizing me with that gorgeous face, and grabbed me like I was delicate and dangerous all at the same time. And his lips confirmed to me what I already thought I knew: that he wants me just as much as I want him. Maybe even more.And then he pushed me away, all because Clarisse showed up and ruined everything. What would have happened if she hadn’t? I can’t even imagine.When I touched his face, told
But then I remember just how young and naïve Cassandra is. Like a beautiful bird that’s spent its entire life in a gilded cage, she has no experience with men. Least of all an unrefined man like me.“You’re not just gonna quit on me, are you?” she asks.“I…wouldn’t put it like that,” I admit. “But yes.”“Why?”My heart thuds heavy in my chest. “I have to.”I move to step past her, but she slides in front of me, eyes down on the ground, holding herself like a timid dove. “No.” Her voice is firmer now. “You can’t go.”“Cassandra–”“You’re the only man who has ever…touched me like you did. And now you’re leaving me to think about it for the rest of my life? Will you not let me get to the end of our romance story? Like the ones from my books?”Christ, she’s so goddamn innocent. She has so little experience she has to relate our interactions to something from one of her books. But her body has me drowning in the filthiest thoughts imaginable. It’s taking every bit of strength I have to not
RHETTI didn’t even goto the court today. I skipped our lesson. I can’t go near her.Cassandra…I sit on the tailgate of my truck, parked in the servants’ lot of Arthur’s mansion, my elbows on my knees and my hands twisted up in my hair. My gym bag is half-packed beside me but not zipped, and beside it, my letter of resignation, poking out of an unsealed envelope.I haven’t licked it yet, because if I do–if I make things final and leave–I know I’ll never see her again.Cassandra…Just thinking her name feels like a sin. A sin I’d commit a thousand times over if it meant feeling her breath hitch just before our lips pressed together. If it meant being able to feel her slim waist in the palm of my hand.Yesterday I told her not to be late, and now I’m the one who doesn’t show.It has to be this way. Because if I see her again, and she bites her lower lip or looks up at me from under those lush lashes, I won’t be able to keep my hands off her. And if I put my hands on her again, who know
Rhett growls something under his breath and tosses the towel aside. “Nothing. Never mind.”I take a step forward. My arms are tingling now and my mouth is dry–but my center is not. I feel like I feel sometimes when I read those books Clarisse brings me. Maybe it’s because I was reading one a moment ago–or maybe it’s some leftover anxiety from my visit with Arthur, but I’m feeling curious at the moment. And I say something I don’t think I normally would.“Do you always work out shirtless?” He doesn’t answer. My heart is racing. Am I overstepping? “You’re…in very good shape.”Still, he is silent.“You know I have these books that Clarisse gets me, and the men on the cover are always very muscular. You look like you could be one of them actually–”“Cassandra,” he snaps, as if warning me. But my body is on fire for him now, and I can’t stop myself. Behind me is prison–before me is freedom.I walk right up to him and look up, so far up. He’s so tall I have to crane my neck. My eyes fall on
CASSANDRAThe pulsing between my thighs just won’t go away.It’s been there since my lesson yesterday with Rhett, along with a tingling sensation like I’ve been transformed into a bubbling can of lemon seltzer.I press my legs together as I lounge on the green velvet chaise in my room. I’m reading a book Clarisse brought me from the outside world. It’s a romance novel entitledBuilt from Stoneabout a girl who goes hiking and gets caught in a storm, only to be rescued by a rough mountain man who takes her home to his cabin where…thingshappen.Clarisse gets me books like this occasionally. I think she knows they’re more educational than enjoyable to me. Having never had a boyfriend, I’m completely ignorant of how to please a man. These books at least give me somewhat of an idea.I used to be able to picture the heroes in my mind, but ever since I met Rhett, all I see is his face.His jaw, his hands–so rough and so big, gripping the handle of his racket as he showed me how to swing. The w