Chapter 14

Amy

Sitting on the porch of my new house, drinking my special night tea, i still wonder if i did the right thing moving us so far away. The kids are fast asleep for hours now, but i can't put my mind at ease.

I spent so many years raising my sons by myself, running two businesses and a house, and still had my ex husband causing me problems about my decisions regarding the kids.

I waited patiently for years to live out the dream we were once planning together. A few years after our divorce, oh so long ago, we got back together better than ever before. I thought this was it, this time we were going to do it right! We had four kids together, after all. The plan was to leave this island, away from everyone and everything, and start over.

But the dream crashed when a few months later we found out that a girl he was seeing while we were separated has given birth to his child. A daughter. After four sons, a daughter was here to turn his world upside down. Our world...

I love this kid, i always loved everything that was his. However, he was never the same. Trying to balance between two baby mommies and five kids while living with neither of them and his finances going from bad to worse, had him spiralling really bad really fast. And, of course, there was no question about moving away. He wouldn't see his daughter. Her mother was already withholding privileges from him, he wouldn't risk leaving. So i stayed too. I didn't mind waiting for the right time. Besides, i could never picture myself being with any other man than him. Even when we were divorced i stood by that notion - either with him or with nobody. I wanted to be there for him, i wanted to make everything easy for him, to support him to be the best father he could be for all his kids. He never let me. He started making crazy accusations for me, regarding the kids. Stopped seeing them, no matter how much i begged for even a little father-sons quality time. The only thing i didn't mind was when he stopped paying child support. I wasn't rich, but i could manage. I even offered to give him money, but he refused my "hand-outs"..

Ten years have passed since the day we found out about his daughter and i kissed that dream goodbye. But now, in my early 40s, my sons all grown up to fine young teenagers, i had to do it. He took me to court, insisting i was trying to take his kids away from him and deprive them of their father. The kids are old enough to choose what they want, though, and the judge, thankfully, listened.

And now, i am sitting on the porch of my newly purchased house, having saving up for years, with two flourishing businesses back home giving me a steady cash flow, thinking about my decision. Only a week here and things are somehow going south. I met a lot of nice people the first few days and i really thought we could belong here. But the ones i liked the most have suddenly stopped talking to me after the Town Fair, three days ago. I don't understand, i know i didn't do or said anything to offend them. They just brushed me off with a 'sorry, i can't' and went on with their lives. My kids are getting the same treatment from some of their classmates. I have a feeling that man Sebastian has something to do with it.

What an unreadable man he is. From the moment we met at that supermarket i had a very intense feeling about him. Not bad, but not good either. He was grumpy and all but those few seconds his face muscles loosened and i thought i saw a hint of a smile, he seemed like a completely different person. But the next time, in the Fair, he was so hostile with me, his eyes shooting lasers on my body, i tried hard to not look at his direction. I noticed Thomas talking to him. We were fine, Thomas and I, before that moment in time. But then, we weren't. And so i wasn't with other people too. Ludicrous that people ask me why i prefer the animals. That's why, humans are crazy...

The house is very big, with six bedrooms, three bathrooms and a perfect little office that i am thrilled to slowly turn it into my little witch cave. I have already installed a wall-filling bookcase for all my precious books, and rows of shelves for my jars and tools. Tomorrow i will be doing the cabins and cleaning and setting two of the bedrooms for the younger ones. So, i really need to get some sleep.

I like my little porch in my new, big house. And i really like this town, despite everything so far, with its generally friendly people and the faint doggy smell. I miss having a dog in the house. My dogs died of old age some years ago, and i never got another. This smell reminds me of them. This light smell of cuddling fur is what makes me stay calm in this frantic uprooting and relocating. Thinking about them, i inhale deeply as i put the blanket higher to my face while readjusting myself on the garden chair, slowly drifting off to sleep.