It's well after midnight when I finally decide to lay down. I know I will regret it in the morning when I have swim practice, but part of me was hoping Shea would somehow wind up back in my room. When it's obvious she isn't coming I lay down. Sleep comes slowly and it's a fitful rest. My alarm goes off well before I'm actually ready to get up, and I roll out of bed stiffly. I throw on my swimsuit and a pair of sweats and sweatshirt before heading downstairs. It's just after 5 am and the kitchen light is on. I half expect to see Shea sitting at the breakfast bar, so you can imagine my shock when it's my sister. She's staring out the picture window over the sink and looks as though she never went to bed. "Ev, what's going on? Are you okay?"She startles and looks at me as though I'm the one who's in the wrong place, and not like she's the one who's up before a normal time on a Saturday. Her eyes focus on mine, but she doesn't

I've been in my room most of the weekend. Swim practice was sucky, and I came home a little later Saturday morning and went back to sleep. Then waking up around 11 I showered, did some homework, and wasted some time watching TV. Now, in the late afternoon, I've taken to reading a book. I have a pretty extensive TBR list, and most of the books piled on a bookshelf to prove it. I don't broadcast the amount of reading I do on a regular basis, but anyone who knows me well knows I love a good book. I'm sprawled across my bed, laying on my stomach when my door cracks open. I look up, assuming that its Eva asking about dinner. She and Maggie and Shea have spent most of the day in the basement in our home theater watching some reality tv show. When I walked by last Maggie was laughing hysterically while Eva threw popcorn at the screen and Shea rolled around on the couch giggling. Part of me wished I could join them, sit with Shea and have her explain the show to me, and why they're so ob

Monday morning I'm sitting in the kitchen waiting for the coffee to brew when Eva walks in. She's dressed in a pair of skinny light-wash jeans and a light-wash jean jacket that matches. It kind of reminds me of a jumpsuit. She gives me a completely non-committal smile and heads to the fridge, grabbing a bowl of fruit salad.  I'm still preoccupied with what happened Saturday with Shea. When she came out of the bathroom she looked as though she'd seen a ghost. Her face had the same hollowness that plagued her at the party a few weeks ago, and I didn't know what to do. She didn't stay too long after that, making some excuse to go home. I didn't stop her, even though I probably should have. But something about my question rattled something in her, so I think if I want answers, I'm going to have to ask someone else.  "Luke?" Eva is standing in front of me, leaning on the counter. There's a concerned and slightly amused look on her face that makes me think she wa

Luckily, I escaped suspension with Jacob, but we both earned detention. The school knows they can't suspend us, we are two of the best swimmers on the team. If they suspend us, we will be suspended from the next meet as well. And the school can't afford that. I have never cared about being an athlete until today. Today, I am so thankful that I can pull enough weight to not get in so much trouble. Jacob is pissed. I didn't break his nose, sadly, but I did manage to bloody it and his lip. There is a sick sort of satisfaction that comes with seeing him at least a little down and out from getting in trouble. He insisted he has no idea why I punched him, but I don't believe that for a second. However, I can't say anything without incriminating Shea and Tiffany and bringing those horrid pictures to light. So I keep my mouth shut too. I end up ditching the last 2 periods of school. Detention is scheduled for tomorrow and by the afternoon I'm tired of getting whispered about and stared at.

I stare in silent horror at the crumpled photos before me. They are printed on regular 8 x 11 printer paper which just adds to the terrible quality of the photos. But the images are clear enough to see my face as well as the people around me. I lift a photo in a shaky hand. It's a girl between two boys. Something in my brain registers that it is me, but I'm not so sure I see it. The girl looks small and like she's made of glass, Her skin is pale and the hollow fear in her eyes breaks something inside of me that I didn't think could be broken further. "Shea?" Luke's voice is like a distant echo, bouncing and reverberating around my head. His hand comes to rest on my shoulder, and it's enough of a shock that I tear my eyes away from the picture to find his face. I can feel myself retreating, something inside of my dissolving into nothingness. I close my eyes, counting my breaths as Luke rubs my back softly making each of the scars tingle on my ba