I like some darkness, even if it does come from Master Carrero. There is no one quite like him. For his flaws anyway, I have to say, he can be amusing. ‘‘Lucie is my biggest fan. He secretly adores me and is just jealous that you get to sleep up here with me every night. He totally imagines the worst.’’ I flutter innocent lashes and continue sipping my drink, exuding my sexual confidence with subtle little mannerisms that are as natural as breathing to me nowadays. Wasn’t so long ago I had to force each one to build this façade known as Camilla Walters.‘’Possibly because Alexi tells him the worst.’’ Gino laughs and the little flicker of smug crossing Alexi’s face makes me wonder how much truth is in that joke. I have no idea how he got lumbered with Luciano other than through family but I don’t get the feeling he likes him at all and can completely imagine him using subtle hints to get under his skin. L

I still feel shaken, even hours after coming down here and welcoming the first flow of Alexi’s clientele and I cannot shift the feeling of foreboding and anxiety gnawing at my bones. He has yet to appear, he never followed me out of the apartment when I fled, and he hasn’t summoned me back upstairs either. I would be happy if he stayed upstairs for the rest of the night and sobered up, but I know he needs to be down here for his club’s very first night.I don’t like the side to him I met, and I have no desire to see it again so soon. The confidence in the opinion I formed of him over these last weeks has been shattered, and I am back to feeling like I don’t know him at all. That sinister man from my hospital room and how in awe I was. I should have realised then that he had more layers than an onion and I have barely taken the top one off.Alexi aside, everything is going smoothly. We have drunk men molesting half dressed women as they all

I stand in the apartment, completely disorientated as he makes us drinks; silent and calm like we’re just up here to have our usual chat and arguments, and yet I am completely on edge and cannot relax. He seems normal, unfazed, unaffected, and he hasn’t made any moves to touch me since we got in the lift. It’s weird, unnerving and I shouldn’t be like this. I’m not a virgin or an amateur. Sex is part of what I do or used to. I taught myself how to overcome all the shit that surrounded it emotionally and learned the art of making it feel good instead. Finding the pleasure in it and getting off instead of the trauma of my past. I separated the memories and the act and used sex as a tool to get ahead in life. It got me here to America for a fresh start and I have never looked back. I like sex, I crave it and I ha

I don’t doubt he has the skill and lack of moral compass to do so. The man doesn’t have a conscience. He brings his forehead to mine and looks me dead in the eye, both of us immobile and silent as so much tension in the air crackles around us. My insides have turned to ash and I know I’m about to endure brutality like I never imagined. I stifle a sob, my body shaking visibly, and yet he just sucks all the air out of me with one swift move. Alexi kisses me. Completely blows my head out of the water as he forces his mouth on mine and I respond, somewhere between relief and primal urge from high adrenaline. Kissing him back, letting myself go with a surge of craziness. My fingers framing his jaw instantly, his arms are around my waist in a second and he’s pulling me against him with a hunger that hits us like a typhoon. It’s like being dropped in a hot pool of wate

‘’Go fuck yourself. You’re a cold bastard and I curse the day you stopped me from being thrown in the river.’’ I turn to storm off, but he catches my wrist and hauls me back, meeting my slapping hands and just deflects them, pulling me close as he silences me with another kiss. Only this time it’s not like the one from before, it’s softer, smoother and more like the kiss from the bar. Wrapping his arms around me as he lifts me up into him and runs a hand around my jaw to pull me closer. It’s almost tender, hitting my craving need for someone to make me feel better and despite myself and my fury, I weaken to him almost instantly. Like it’s a weird power he has and I can’t fight it.Losing myself and letting go of my hurt, I kiss him back. Faced with less aggression and some tiny need in me wanting this somehow. A pathetic craving for little hints of affection, someone to make me feel like I matter.I kiss him a