The second I was out of sight, I braced a palm flat against the nearest wall, my heart beating so fast behind my ribs, I felt like I was on the verge of fainting. I try to get my bearings. My hands tremble I have to bring my right to my chest. My knees knocked together and sweat beaded on my forehead. I licked my dry lips and focused on my breathing exhaling through my mouth. I’d put on a brave face in front out there, that I wasn’t scared of Valentina. Truth be told, I am terrified of the woman. I’d given the performance of a lifetime and the anger boiling in my chest gave me an edge. It had to be done and I don’t regret it. Valentina Salvatore is a bully. Plain and simple. I've known a few in my life, My aunt Sara and daughter Katherina to mention, and a few from my time at the academy. The only way to get them to back off is to stand up to them. She treats everyone as less than and expects us to fall at her feet. She was very harsh with Eva, the thought of it gave me shiv

I push the double stroller with Maria walking beside me, it is still early in the day and the sun isn’t out fully so I thought both the babies and I could use some air, then we find a good spot on the floor in the gardens to spread out a fluffy blanket unstrapping the children Angelo is already swinging his legs and fist with excitement form being let out, Maria drops the basket of toys so they can play. I make a mental note to take them out on walks more often. For the next half hour, I lay on my side, my head popped up on my hand as I watched my children. My little loves. Angelo and Micaela have a grand time mumbling gibberish to each other giggling and fighting over toys, yelling loudly. I feel an unfathomable joy as I watch their interaction, Caela tosses something to the side the yells “Ma?” Pointing at the toy. I shake my head, trying to be stern “You threw it there you get it” She attempts a cry to get her way and I laugh under my breath, “Bring it to Mama baby” I h

I went upstairs after that, was there anything more for me to learn, lost in my thoughts, Did I want to call Maria and question her within an inch of her life and finally find out what was going on in my own house? Yes, I did. Why was I the last to find out anything of substance around here? It was the same as when Valentina came around and dropped the union in our laps. It was as though everyone was expecting it but me. What was I doing wrong? It had to be something, to be so excluded in my family. I wanted nothing more than to line them up and get to the bottom of it all. They made it their job to inform me of the happenings of the family, most of the information they got in the form of gossip from the maids of other households. Apparently, all I was entitled to was petty gossip like who was sleeping with the servant and who fathered a bastard behind his wife, never anything truly meaningful. Gianna who hasn’t been to visit in a while Sebastian, her husband insisted it’s

I nodded, my lips now suddenly dry, I swiped my tongue once more, “I know that- I mean I think I do” I’m not making any sense, why was this so difficult? I've never had problems expressing myself or letting my thoughts known but when it came to him, I was tongue tied. I hadn’t planned on bringing it up at all or at least until I processed it. But now that I had, I just… I swiped my other hand down my face in frustration, “It’s just- for a time I felt we are that, a family, you and me. I felt connected, and I am with you.” the issue was him, I didn’t have to state that out loud, his eyes jumped from mine to my hands, as I bring them together, gesturing. My hands dropped to my lap and I let out a breath, “And then sometimes, sometimes, in a way, I don’t feel like your wife” “What do you mean? You are my wife?” “Sometimes I feel like I know you, we do well together, in bed, out of it, you are a good father to the babies, patient and attentive, and I’m so grateful to you for tha

Angelo makes a loud noise, breaking my thoughts and I look down at him, holding him down with one hand as he tries to go to his father “I’m not done with him yet” I explain and Niko nods before moving to sit on a chair in front of us. I go back to clipping, moving as fast as I can, baby nails are so soft and fragile I have to be careful as I bring the sharp end close to his soft skin while Angel stares at me with what can only be described as a displeasure. At least he is no longer lunching himself to the other side of the room in an attempt to get away from me. “We’re almost done baby” I sooth over the sound of Caela mumbling baby words to her father, giggling on a toothless smile, he goes along with her. An easy smile on his face as she pat his cheeks with her small hands. Soon enough I clip in the edge of Angelo’s pinky finger, it’s so tiny. And so freaking cute. “Annndd we’re done everybody. Thank you for having us your highness” I toss the clipping into the lid of the kit I’d b