Unforgivable Secret のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 51 - チャプター 60

I didn’t even bother to tell the guys I was leaving after I raced out of the Pizza Shack after Clarissa.What was the point?I got into my car and drove around, basically going everywhere and nowhere at the same time.I went past the places that Morgan and I used to hang out by ourselves, to get away from the rest of the world, to forget who we were. I knew after today, after Clarissa gone back and probably told Morgan everything that she heard, that Morgan and I would never have a moment of togetherness again. She probably hated me right about now, and I couldn’t blame her.I hated myself.I hated that I agreed to such a fucking lame-ass bet that ruined everything…everything that mattered.I walked into the house, and it smelled good like someone had thoroughly cleaned and cooked dinner. The scent of freshly baked bread drifted through the air.“Ethan.” Hope ran out of the kitchen and grabbed me into a

“Morgan, you’re going to be late for school.”Mom stood outside my door and knocked for the third time this morning. I heard the door open and pulled the blanket further up to cover my head.“You’re not even up. Aren’t you feeling well?” Mom’s hand managed to slip under the top part of the cover a feel my forehead. “You are a little warm. Do you want me to set up a doctor’s appointment? I’m sure I can get you in today to see Dr. Howell.”I slowly shook my head. There was no way that Dr. Howell or any physician could help me with what was wrong.How could anyone fix a broken heart?I know that sounds, so cliché. Poor girl with a broken heart after boyfriend hurts her.But, I really felt like I was dying. I’d been through a lot, second best daughter, always ridiculed at school, the list could go on forever. But, to have my boyfriend, or wait, Ethan never reall

I knew I wouldn’t be able to pull the ‘I’m sick’ game off forever. I managed to stay home one week before mom told me that I had to either get a doctor’s excuse to go back to school or make sure that I’m in attendance Monday morning.Here it was, almost seven days after I found out what Ethan had done. How everything about us was just a lie. How I was now the laughing stock of probably the entire school or at least the soccer team.I felt used.I felt abused.And I felt a pain that I never felt in my life before. One that hurt so bad that I didn’t think I was going to be able to make it through another day, it was like I’d lost my best friend and my lover all at once.Well, I sort of did. Ethan and I had become both of those. He was my lover, the only one that I ever had. And I felt closer to him than I did my friends, even Tara and Rynae.Speaking of my friends, they called every day wondering

I was late getting out of the computer lab, but I’d managed to finish all the classwork and homework that I’d missed for the past week.AND I was able to avoid seeing Ethan.I mean I wanted to see him, but I knew each time I did my heart would die a little bit more. The last time I saw him today, when he followed me down to the lab, it took all my self-control not to run back to him.Tara said she spoke to him right after that, she said he didn’t look like he was doing too well. She’d never seen him so wrecked up. It was like this whole circumstance had ruined us both.                                                            ***Ugh

I finished the last of my literature assignment that was due tomorrow and managed to get some studying done for the debate meet that was coming up in two weeks. This was the next to the last one for the year. I was excited, yet depressed about not having to do this anymore. I’d been debating since ninth grade, and it had become part of my life.Everything was changing so fast. First, debate meets, and state competitions would be over, then we would start graduation preparation, and then before we knew it, we’d be walking across the stage to begin another chapter of our lives.Five months ago, I thought I was going to have someone to share all of my life adventures with, I honestly thought Ethan would be there forever.My call button lit up on my cell phone, the number came up as unknown. I always ignore those sorts of calls, they are usually those bot calls or someone trying to sell me something, but this time, I answered.“Hello.”