“What’s going on with you two lately? It feels like the frosty atmosphere between you is more glacier than normal, and neither of you is speaking up about it.” Yoonha prods me in the back of the head as he passes behind me at the breakfast table. Being his usual annoying self. I tense up, but act flippant, not ready to share anything with him yet. If Yoonha knows, he will make everything worse, and I need to get a handle on what I’m going to do when I know for sure. I don’t even know what to do.“Nothing. You know how it is when we get into the new financial year. So much more stress for a few weeks. It’ll pass.” I brush it off and focus on pushing oatmeal into my mouth despite my zero appetite and can barely swallow it. I’m in jogging clothes as it’s my day off, and my routine is an early morning workout, followed by breakfast, and then a run. I’m trying to stay as normal as possible to keep up appearances.

I burst into our bedroom, still in the same emotional mess I was running all the way here, and somehow managed to get in and up here without alerting Yoonie or mother to my presence. A fire coursing through my veins, yet my mind’s a blistering mess of utter chaos, and I can’t think or see straight. The pain is unbearable, and years' worth of bottled-up feelings are spewing out of me like someone turned on a tap. I’m a volcano that finally erupted.I’m breathing in short raspy gulps, wiping my snot and tear-drenched face with the back of my hand, yet more keeps coming, and I hiccup up with every few gasps. I rake my fingers through my hair, which is tied up in a messy bunny, yanking it down with my erratic movements and adding to the despairing image of myself. Caked in dried blood and grime and emotional ruin. Rubbing my fingers over my face and down my throat as I try to reel my mind back from its shattered pieces. My entire world has come tumbling do

I sit in my car, staring at the alleyway from this morning and taking slow even breaths. Steadying my nerves and thinking through my purpose here. My plan. My head is swimming, yet I am wholly composed compared to earlier. Dressed in a killer black fitted pantsuit, spike heels, styled hair hanging perfectly around my shoulders, and I have my war face on. Everything tucked back in behind my mask and ready to rumble. Bringing out the real Vice President Park and what she’s famed for.It’s like earlier didn’t happen at all, and all my cuts and scrapes are concealed by what I’m wearing, not even on a pain scale anymore; their effect on me is minimal.My mind is a jumble of thoughts, but my mother-in-law’s words are ringing the loudest and clearest inside my head. I feel like I’m hanging on to them by a thread in a bid to hold it all together.‘Fix this by any means.’She knows it’s what I’m good at.

I drove for thirty minutes to get here, to this tranquil place after leaving that woman’s apartment, somewhere I don’t come all too often, yet today I felt like I needed to. I stare at the graves of my parents, laid side by side, and yet no tears come like I expected they would while driving here. I have a million conflicting emotions and thoughts that brought me here, and now I am; I’m too ashamed to stand before them. I'm aching for them after the day I’ve had, feeling lost and like everything is spiraling out of control, and I don’t have a grip on anything anymore.I lay the bouquets I stopped to buy on the way here in front of them and bend to dust off the dark grey marble stones. Stopping to touch the faces in the pictures indented into the shiny surfaces hurts as much as it always did. I’ve never faced the grief and allowed myself to mourn them fully, but I don’t know how to start.Contrary to how I behaved in front of Cl

I head out of the underground via our access road and turn left, out of the city to hit the cliff roads to let this baby roar. We live on the outskirts and are fortunate enough to be a short drive from one of the most scenic and windy roads that head into a beautiful part of our country and eventually stop at the sea. The river which runs past our home starts as a tiny trickle and somehow manages to size up and merge seamlessly to the vast world out there, and it has always fascinated me. That something so small can start that way and yet become a formidable force to take on the vastness of nature.The car feels heavy to steer, and I scrunch my face up at its lack of sensitive response, wondering what the hell he’s been doing to this. It’s sluggish and not exactly what you expect from a multimillion-dollar car that happens to be a limited edition. I can’t remember thinking it felt this awful to drive when I tried it out before, and I check the gauges for any