Lahat ng Kabanata ng A Damaged Alpha: Kabanata 61 - Kabanata 70

Unsteadily I let go of the messy marble worktop. Quickly wiping my hands on my apron I looked up at the man leaning against the counter next to me. We hung out all the time, this shouldn’t feel any different. Except it does. Electricity, crackling desperate heat is escaping from me despite trying to act casual. I try to tell myself he is just the same as Franz and Zeke, just another close friend. I can feel another blush rising as I realise my shining eyes will be giving away how much I have missed him. His are the same steady blue. No change, not a single yellow shard. He is all seriousness as he towers over me. His shoulders are twice the width of mine. He measured and proved it for fun last year when he started getting serious about Warrior training. /Think saner thoughts/ Nina warned as the memory of him trailing the tape measure along my arms and shoulders threatened to make my eyes shine even brighter with slivers of yellow. The same as Cillian, both our eyes flash with gold wh

I scuttled into the kitchens as soon as dawn broke and I was still too late. Bianca Jackson was already there, her shining black hair hidden under a white baker's hat. “You know we don’t mind you staying behind Tilly but you really can’t leave it like that. We’ll get rats!” “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” the name Tilly firing me straight back into childhood. I loved that Cillian always called me Matilda. In fact I loved everything about him endlessly already. Nina purred with contentment in my mind as we contemplated last night for the thousandth time. “It was a long day yesterday,” she said, “did you get to talk to him in the end?” Did everyone in the packhouse already know? Had I somehow mindlinked my thoughts to everyone? With a cough and a splutter I managed to mutter “No, I didn’t get to chat to him.” “Ah well, Jackson told me he has back-to-back meetings today, you had better make some good food. Who knows how he has been eating during his time away.” I smiled and pul

I’m racing north. I’ve got to find that purple eyed woman again. Retrace my steps, find that grubby old inn where I passed out and get some answers. I lost Vez there. She was the last person I spoke to. It’s got to be linked to her. My insides are swirling with guilt, apprehension and fear. By doing this on my own am I being a traitor to my pack? I told Jackson and Franz I was heading out to see if I could pick up the trail of my parents' killers. Not that I was hunting down some woman I may or may not have slept with. Jackson didn’t say anything but his face screwed up enough for me to know he disagreed with what I am doing. I would have said the same in his shoes. The brand new Alpha simply shouldn’t go running off and abandoning his packhouse the instant he has a free moment. But what is an Alpha without his wolf? I cannot keep dodging mind-links. Fortunately the newness of my situation, my youth, my grief are all on my side. People are willing to overlook something as peculiar

Sat in the truck with Franz I forced myself to come clean. About everything. I don’t know why but even though Jackson was the obvious choice to confide in, he was my fathers confidante. I need my own team. “Well that’s just fucked up. Your wolf is gone? Like totally silent?” “Seriously, it's horrific.” Even that description didn’t cover the aching loneliness I felt. A part of me was missing. Franz kept his eyes on the road, clenching his cheeks on and off as he tried to come up with a solution. “So you’ve been back to the place to find the girl?” “Nothing. All shut up and abandoned. That was last week's trek.” “I think you’re going to need bigger assistance. What about the Fates?” “Shit, I didn’t want to start going down that route straight away,” I sigh. It is a good idea though. One of those old crones might know something about what has happened to me perhaps. Or the girl. Or if this was all part of my plan and I was always meant to end up a wolfless failure. “Stop beating y

I expected Cillian to be surprised, to hopefully kiss me back and wrap his arms around me. I knew my brown eyes would be shimmering with gold, full of desire and need for him.I had taken my leap, this was the bravest thing I have ever done but I don’t feel his hands on me. Shit, I’ve made such a huge mistake. I end my kiss, open my eyes and look at him. His hands are gripping the table so firmly his knuckles are white.“I thought…I wanted to show you I want you too. What's the matter?” Cillians' eyes blazed with bright blue, no sign of his iris changing but his face was a storm of emotion. Every muscle in his body was tense. “I don’t want to…to do things the wrong way.”“What would be the wrong way?”“I’m gripping this table because if I place my hands on you…I don’t know where I’ll stop.”Caught in silence I looked at him steadily. Knowing he felt that strongly about me had my heart racing. The heat between my legs, yearning for him was undeniable. Nina prompted a devious little t