Semua Bab Shadows of the Past: Bab 11 - Bab 20
81 Bab
WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME?
MIKEI was glad to think that Emily wanted that understanding between us. It was in my best interest to be friends with her to find out the truth that was nagging me. Plus, an entire year of us getting along like cat and mouse was beyond me. I wasn’t willing to have put up with all the fuss, even though I had an interest and a moral duty to Olivia. I couldn’t understand why Olivia asked me to keep an eye on her as long as I could. What business was it of mine, and why should I have played babysitter? She seemed more normal to me than I was. I still had that nightmare that I couldn’t sleep or live peacefully. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get over it. I knew I should have listened to my friends and forgiven myself, but I was still convinced it was my fault. If I’d listened to what she said and stayed home, I’d only suffer like a fool. Clearly, it was my fault and now I was bearing the consequences. I still wished I could have gotten rid of those nightmares that were drying
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SAVING MY ENEMY
MIKE She no longer had the strength to answer me, so she nodded. I lifted her in my arms, pressing her body to mine. She had a lovely perfume on her face, and at the touch of our bodies a strong electric shock jolted all my senses as if lightning had struck me. The scent of her skin was lovely. She was light as a doll and exquisite as a flower. I walked as lightly as I could out of a desire to hold her in my arms as long as possible. I didn’t know what was happening to me. Since Mary died, I’ve never felt this way about any woman. There was something stronger than my reason, screaming and scolding me for those feelings and that thrill that pushed me more and more to kiss and ravish her, trying to remind me of my mad desire for revenge. It was no use trying to remind myself that the woman in my arms was my enemy, for my heart acted on its own and clung more and more to the gentleness Emily had shown since we first met. If I told anyone that this wonderful woman had once left me on
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WHO WAS EMILY SMITH?
MIKEAfter all this time, I felt the desire to spend hours talking to a woman again. Until now, I had found various reasons to stay away from them and now the one I considered an enemy came and confused me, as she knew best. Look how I was looking for various reasons to stay around her as long as possible. We discussed more and more interesting things. One never got bored talking to her, as she wasn’t the type to stray from the subject. She didn’t brag that she knew it all, and she didn’t just talk crap to brag that she was smart. She told me she didn’t trust people anymore because they betrayed her in the ugliest way possible, but she couldn’t tell me the details. Although she tried, she couldn’t. Each time it bathed her face in tears and sobs prevented her from speaking. This woman managed in one month what those around me have not managed in two years. With her help, I forgot I was sitting talking to the enemy I wished I had taken revenge on. With her charms, she made me have
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A SURPRISE
EMILYI didn’t believe for a second that after all that suffering, and after I had driven away any attempt to continue my life under the most normal of conditions, I was going out to a restaurant with a man I had only known for a short time. Except that there was something about that man that confused my mind. When I was around him, I couldn’t think about what was in the past. The long hours of sitting and talking proved to me he was such a soulful man. I could tell that he was beautiful on the outside and the inside. Though I refused at first out of courtesy, his insistence flattered me. I felt so important, as I haven’t felt in a long time. After all, I owed him. I was alive because of him. He was right when he said that. I really couldn’t refuse him tonight. Dinner at a restaurant meant elegant, sophisticated attire, which was a little beyond me. I usually spent time indoors, out of sight. According to Kevin, we didn’t even go out shopping together. He said he couldn’t stand t
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CONFLICTING THOUGHTS
EMILYI didn’t get to ask him anything else because he disappeared. I was still enjoying this seafood cooked simply deliciously. No matter how hard I tried at home, it would never turn out like theirs. I couldn’t find the secret to cooking them like that myself. I cooked whatever I wanted in my spare time, and this dish was my favorite. I was so happy when I saw this restaurant had a band. The music, the wine and the food made everything special. I just hoped Mike loved dancing and would invite me, as I loved dancing. My chances with Kevin were slim because he hated music, or so I thought.“It’s not the place for painful memories,” I scolded myself in my thoughts.I tasted the cold wine the waiter brought us even though Mike had left for a little while. As I sipped from the glass, I heard the strains of a love song. My mouth got caressed by a sweet taste and a special music spoiled my hearing. The wine and that melody blended perfectly, transporting me to a world I had never seen
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NOT NOW, CARLA!
MIKEWhen I walked into the restaurant, everyone was giving me positive signs. Everyone was smiling and was happy for me. I went to the place where I was playing with the band. I was the second guitarist in a band that had been established for a couple of years. The lead singer of the band was a professional with years of experience behind him. He started his band after the previous one broke up. With the help of their manager, they turned out a great band. The vocalist saw great potential in me, but they couldn’t accept me as a full member. I never knew the reasons, but I always suspected it was because of their manager.When the band was absent, I was the one to fill in for them, under the orders of the restaurant manager. He was a soulful man who was always there when I needed him. He told me I was like a child to him. When the accident happened, he felt that only music was going to keep me alive after my wife died. He kept me with him and helped me get into this band. When I wa
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DREAMS, HOPES, DESIRES
EMILYDreams, hopes, desires, look how they all flew away on the wind over the sea and were blown far away from me. Once again, I fell for it. I believed love existed; I believed in purity, sincerity, and what did I get? God, I was gullible again and now my heart is again torn into a thousand pieces. If before I went out to dinner with him I got excited now disappointment has taken hold of me. A positive outlook for the future was out of the question, as I felt the world had fallen apart. This depression again caught me in the same trap set from which I could not escape. I felt like I was in a deep abyss from which there was no escape.When I saw him here, I wished I had chased him away, only I promised myself I would change. Once I stepped onto this new land, I promised a change was coming. The old bad and immature habits had to be banished, and I did. No fuss! I should have behaved as badly as I could because it humiliated me, but I didn’t. I sat in my seat and gathered what littl
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SO, HE WAS RIGHT?
EMILY“What are you doing my dear? How’s life by the sea?” Olivia asked me. “Here we are dying of heat. Honestly, you wouldn’t want to be here.”“I’m fine, Olivia,” I replied in as normal a tone as possible.“Hey what’s wrong with you? You sound sad.” “I’m fine, really.”“Hey, who do you think you’re kidding? I know something upset you. I know you. Tell me what happened to you. Don’t make me get on the first plane out here and check you out. You know I can do it.”“Fine! Calm down! I’ll tell you.” I paused for a moment while I took a deep breath to build up my courage, then continued, “Olivia, I think I’m in love.”“Wow! That’s great. Why are you sad? You’re not still thinking about that jerk, are you? If you’d let me, then I’d have told him a thing or two. ““No, God forbid! I’m not thinking about Kevin. Let him be happy with his mistress. I’m in love with Mike.”“Great! I’m really glad.” There was a brief pause and then she asked me seriously. “What does he say? He’s a great guy wh
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HATE AND DESIRE
MIKE“What did you cook? What are we going to serve?” “Surprise! I won’t tell you until we get home.”The longer I stayed around her, the stronger I felt the dancing butterflies in my stomach. My heart was pounding and my breathing was labored. On the way, I was as attentive to the road as possible, but I was still glancing at her. She was gorgeous in whatever she wore. It was clear that I had fallen madly in love with this woman I once considered an enemy and knew nothing about. All I knew was that she was suffering, but nothing more. I wondered if I was crazy; to have fallen in love with the woman I considered an enemy was immoral.For the first time, I wasn’t interested in a woman’s past, which was strange for me too. When I met Mary, I was so curious about her past. I wanted to know all about her. What kind of woman she was, where she came from, what family she had, what she liked... everything. I even asked some friends what they thought of her, which I later found embarrassin
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THAT BASTARD AGAIN!
EMILYA hotter kiss than this I’ve never had. There was a mad struggle inside me between the conscience that wanted to bring me to raw reality and the hormones that were totally out of control. His body seemed to boil with the mad desire to kiss every nook and cranny of my body. The look in his eyes gave me such assurance, his eyes burned with a fiery glow and an insane passion to make me his.I could feel the heat from the thrill of passion rising to my head like a mist clouding my thoughts and forcing me to think only of the wet hotness of his mouth and his body tense with desire. My mind went crazy, and all I wanted was to have touched his naked body and the manhood I felt growing. My hormones were unraveling one by one forcing me to react to all the advances Mike was making on me. Although an inner voice was screaming louder and louder, warning me of the danger that might come, I couldn’t listen to anything because at that moment I was determined to have let myself be carried a
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