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Lahat ng Kabanata ng Mafia Kingpin: A Dark Organized Crime Romance: Kabanata 31 - Kabanata 40

52 Kabanata

31

§ ABID §I stood in the middle of the shipment room, shaking. I still couldn’t comprehend Aliyah’s death. She bled out in my arms, telling me that she loved me… And I just had to get the fuck outta there before my heart could break even more than it already had.She really did love me. She was prepared to let me walk free from a life in prison out of her love for me. And it was screwing with my mind to the point of no return. I couldn’t stop replaying the moment in my head. Her blood draining away from her face, her face going white. And I knew I’d never be able to move on from this.Everywhere I went, I saw her face in the crowd. Creeping up behind me, or from a distance. And whenever I followed that feeling, I always ended up seeing nothing. Nobody was there. She wasn’t here. I couldn’t come to terms with the fact that she was fucking dead.I’d had nightmares, I’d rocked myself to sleep one too many times. Crying and screaming, kicking and shouting, just wishing that she could be ba

32

“You'll find another bitch to sleep with, stop crying for God's sake,” Trex spat bitterly, rolling his eyes at me.“It was more than just sleeping together!” I shouted. “She was special!”“Special or not, she was a goddamn spy, Abid!” Trex accused. “Are you forgetting the goddamn code?! Steve made it clear there's no room for snakes on our team!” He shook his fists angrily. “If you sided with her and ratted out Steve, you would've ended up like Bilal too! Don't forget the fucking favour I'm doing for you by not telling Steve that your girlfriend was a goddamn cop!”I took a deep breath in, my face falling. It felt like I was going to break down.“Never forget how much Steve did for us, Abid!” Trex roared. “He took us off the goddamn streets! He taught us how to hussle! He brought us where we are today, we're at these positions in the goddamn Mafia because of Steve! And you were going to turn your back on him over a bitch you knew for a few weeks?!”Tears slid down my cheeks. I was so

33

“You've been ignoring Louis all this time and you think you can just turn up and play happy families whenever you feel like it?!” Mum screamed. “I won't be having you seeing Louis without my permission.”“Oh, give it a rest Linda, I've had a lot on my mind,” Steve retorted, and started laughing, like he was shocked that Mum had actually answered back to him. “I've been really busy and today I've finally had a day off plumbing and I wanted to see my stepson. Is that a problem?”He rolled his eyes again, looking pissed off himself, the blood flooding to his cheeks.“Yeah, it is a problem, because he's been upset about you for ages!” Mum snapped, and I took in a deep breath. “He's been crying over you, wondering where you've been, especially on our pizza night, when you just walked out without notice...”“Shut up Linda,” Steve warned. He was speaking in a low whisper now, that made Mum jolt back in fear. “He likes seeing me and we've had a good day today, and we've made arrangements to s

34

CHAPTER 8THE FUNERAL§ LOUIS §“We will now have a moment of silence for Ellie,” said the priest.I was at Ellie’s funeral… with Keelan and Ellie’s mum and dad.We were the only people that came.It felt so surreal. I didn’t want to believe that this was happening. It was like I was trapped in a nightmare… and I couldn’t wake up. Just thinking about how depressed Ellie was. How miserable she was, to the point that she would take her own life…And I blamed myself. I fucking blamed myself. When I’d walked out of her bedroom when me and Keelan went over to her house that day… and I looked back, not wanting to leave her alone. Seeing the state that she was in, collapsed on her floor in a ball, rocking backwards and forwards…But I left her there.I left her there, and left her house.I didn’t turn around and walk back to her bedroom to help her.I just kept on walking.The photographs that the police had taken of her bedroom from the night she committed suicide kept replaying and replayi

35

“S - she was raped,” Keelan stammered, shakily.“W - what?!” Ellie’s dad froze in shock, shaking so hard that he fell to the ground. “WHEN WAS THIS?!” he bellowed, kicking and screaming as he broke down.“About a week ago…” I mumbled.“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!” he bellowed.“She said a creepy old man did it... and then threatened her if she went to the police,” Keelan explained, taking his head in his hands.“That bastard is gonna pay for what he did to my daughter!” he screamed. “I’m a terrible father… she walked in late that night with blood all over her clothes. And when we asked her about it, she said she fell over… We should’ve tried to find out the truth.” Tears slid down his cheeks and I felt my throat go dry as I watched him cry. I couldn’t bear it.“It’s no use blaming yourself,” I mumbled. “All you can do is try to avenge her death. If you look through her phone maybe you'll find some clue as to who he is.”Ellie’s dad took a deep breath in, trying his best to keep himself

36

DAYS LATER…I was the last to jump into the window, and I slowly creeped to the living room of the house, where Swoop, Likkle T and Chase were searching around for goods to steal.“Wow, this house is flashy as hell!” Swoop said, excited.“We're gonna be rich after tonight, boys,” Likkle T added.“Come on,” Chase urged quickly. “Let's grab some stuff before the owners come home.”I took a deep breath in… and then joined them, frantically shoving random items into a black bin bag for us to carry out when we ran out of the house.Since Ellie's funeral, a different side of me came out. I didn't care about the consequences of my actions anymore, and I behaved recklessly. I didn’t even feel guilty about the shit that I was doing now… The shit that I used to beat myself up about, because I felt so fucking bad. This time, there was nothing stopping me. Nothing getting in my way…Not even my conscience.I carried on robbing houses with the guys from school, and I played violent video games on

37

“You're delusional if you think anyone else would want you!” Steve barked. “Other men just want to get into your pants. I'm the only man who would put up with your shit!”He screamed, punching the wall behind me as I trembled in fear.“T - that's funny,” I stammered. “’Cos Matthew doesn't seem to think of me as someone just to sleep with.”I immediately regretted what I’d just said, knowing I was really in for it now. I’d just baited myself out… I was so stupid. So stupid…“So you are sleeping with Matthew, aren't you?!” Steve roared. His veins made their way to the surface of his skin. He looked terrifying. I didn’t want a repeat of what happened last time… I couldn’t go through that torture again…Steve screamed, slapping my face, so hard that my cheek started stinging. I coughed up a sob. I felt so helpless… So damn helpless.“You slut!” Steve bellowed.He slapped me again, twice in repeat succession, before kicking me so hard that I fell to the ground. I clutched my belly in pain

38

After what happened with Jackson… I ran to the convenience store. I really didn’t want to be alone right now. I was keeping everything inside of me bottled up, and I really needed somebody to talk to, no matter who it was.The owner of the convenience store was an Indian man named Raj. I was one of his regular customers; I always went to his shop to buy some snacks before I went to school, so he was quite fond of me and we exchanged some jokes and banter here and there.He was the only person left that I could think of who would actually just sit there and listen to me without judging me or making me feel like shit for having feelings. Everybody expects boys not to cry… But that’s fucking bullshit. The mental health of a man matters just as much as a woman’s does.I walked into the shop, sighing. Raj was sat there behind the counter, counting the change in his till. He looked up and saw me standing there, and his eyes instantly lit up.“Keelan!” he exclaimed, with his hands on his hip

39

I devoured the cake and hugged my mum. Suddenly, Steve’s phone began to ring.He sighed, looking annoyed and irritated. “Let me just answer my phone, Louis. I'll be right back,” he said quickly, and then walked out of the room.I went on my own phone to check my texts, and lots of people from school had sent me happy birthday messages. I got one text from Keelan asking me if I wanted to hang out tonight, but Steve was meant to be taking me out. I opened Keelan's text to respond and explain why I couldn't chill with him today, until I looked out of the window and saw that Steve's car had gone.I took a deep breath in, feeling miserable all of a sudden. He’d killed my mood. He'd left me again. Just like he had when I was fourteen playing Grand Theft Auto and eating pizza. He'd left me without telling me where he'd gone… when he promised he’d be right back.Even after all of these years, Steve continued to disappoint me. Even after how many times I countlessly forgave him for all the tim

40

By now, I was on my 5th shot of my vodka and cranberry drink, and I felt so fucking waved. The next song came on, Rain by Aitch and AJ Tracey, and I bopped my head to the beat.As I looked around the room, I saw a girl with wild bright red hair, bright blue eyes, who was wearing a bralette paired with black leggings and sneakers. She dressed casually, but she was still effortlessly sexy. She was staring right at me, biting her lip and teasing me with her cleavage.It was Maddy, a really pretty girl, who was from my science class. She was one of the few girls in our school who wasn't actually a sket, and didn’t try to fuck every man that breathes, or steal other girls’ boyfriends. Me and her had good banter at school. She was really nice – she was probably the only girl I could actually stand talking to without getting bored.I stared back at her, eyeing her body up and down, and she scratched her arm, blushing. It was cute how she was getting all shy. I saved her from having to come o

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