All Chapters of The Crimson Accord: Chapter 11 - Chapter 20

The file in my hand feels heavier than it should, like it’s full of secrets I am not ready to carry. I have no idea what a file that could lead to my match with Nathaniel might include. I had spent the past hour being told what I could and couldn’t do in my marriage. I came here with some known expectations, but the boundaries that were just laid out to me went beyond that. Every time I felt like I could learn to navigate this world, I was thrown for another loop.​As Nathaniel and I walk he types on his phone, sending emails or texts. If I weren’t so wrapped up in my own problems, I would ask. Instead, I consider my bed waiting for me in my room. Maybe I should go hide under the covers and devour whatever information is in this file.But that idea is squashed when Nathaniel takes me by the hand and passes the door that leads to my room. Instead, we venture back to the place we had our first unofficial meeting, the roof porch.​Climbing the stairs to the secluded porch, I see the door

It had been a full two days since I had seen him. In a house this size, with archery lessons in one wing and waltz rehearsals in another, it was too easy to avoid someone. I didn’t know if he was avoiding me, but I had my suspicions. In four days, we would be married, and I’d barely spent a few hours in his company. Yet my body knew him. Craved him. The hesitancy I had carried when I arrived as Vivienne’s replacement still clung to me, but the Binding blurred it at the edges, leaving only heat in its wake. Our last interaction left me wanting. Wanting more of his touches and answers. My file still sat on my bedside table, unopened. I felt fragmented and frozen in my desire for closure on my sister. I had spent all of yesterday exploring and ignoring my fate. Lucky for me, my father and aunt were in private meetings all day so they didn’t bother me. My cousins could care less as they flirted with anything that wore heels. They were enjoying their experience here, like kids and candy,

The pain from Nathaniel’s mouth only lasts for a few seconds and then it begins to turn into something else. Like a hot knife, it burns and then quickly cools, transferring that heat. With his hand between us, he gives me my own pleasure as he takes his. It’s as if time has stopped. A languid feeling reaches all of my extremities and I stop rocking on him to sit there motionless and just feel. The emotion blossoming inside me creates a blur of immense longing and heat. There is a strong pull in my breast and I can tell he is drinking aggressively from the way he gulps and grips me to stay in place. Either he isn’t paying attention or he doesn’t care, but I notice blood dripping down from my chest and settling in my belly button. My guess is the latter because after a few minutes when he’s had his fill, he pulls away from me, smiling as he glances at the mess. And then he begins to lick me clean.His tongue flat and warm against my bare skin, brings shivers across my body and I feel

Abigail laughs as the manicurist scrubs her feet, hitting a ticklish spot. I chuckle but am immediately brought back to a time where Vivienne treated me to a pedicure for my birthday a few years ago. I accidentally kicked the nail technician during my pedicure and spent the rest of the appointment apologizing. Grief was weird in that way. The pain sometimes hid through the normalcy of regular life and popped through in the strangest times, just to relive a fun memory that won’t ever happen again. I do my best to hide my thoughts and glance at my toes that are being painted a deep red. Royally Wicked was the color name. Something Abigail had hand selected for me, which I loved. I was surprised at her request for a girl’s day before the wedding. She called it the veil day, a day for the family to shower the bride in selfcare that was meant to make her feel bridal. It was working.Celia had popped in my room this morning with a note that had a map with a time. I was intrigued at her r

It didn’t feel like I was about to get married. Instead it felt like I was going to walk down the aisle to my own funeral. I felt steady in my attraction to Nathaniel, between the Binding and reading our file, I was certain that we were a good match. But the uncertainty of rogues and my sister's death loomed over me. Even in death, I couldn’t escape my sister. Looking at the evidence, she was probably a pawn more than I realized in the Accord, but she constantly consumed my thoughts. Now instead of those thoughts being filled with grief and longing, they were questioning the last few weeks of her life. What did I miss? I knew there were things Nathaniel wasn’t telling me, he seemed more suspicious of others than he originally let on, but who could be behind everything going on? Or was this puzzle fragmented because it wasn’t connected? My gut wouldn’t make a commitment and my theories kept shifting. But I was certain that Nathaniel would protect me.