Chapter 100The first day back was a Tuesday in the baby's fourth month and she had known it was coming for six weeks and had prepared for it the way she prepared for everything that required her to be clear-headed, which was by deciding clearly, in advance, what she thought and what she wanted, so that when the moment came she was responding from a decision rather than from the feeling of the morning.The decision had been made in the third month when Silas had called about the second collection phase and she had looked at the calendar and looked at the baby in the bouncing chair beside her desk and asked herself the honest question, which was not whether she was ready, because she understood that ready was not a state you arrived at by waiting, it was a state you produced by going. The honest question was whether she wanted to go. And the answer had been yes, immediately and without complication, the same yes she had been giving to work she wanted to do for twenty years.She had tol
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