I knocked on Cael's door at eleven forty-three at night.He opened it in thirty seconds, which meant he hadn't been asleep. He was still dressed, shirt untucked, phone in his hand, and the expression he had when he was mid-thought. He took one look at my face and stepped back without asking.I handed him my phone.He looked at the photograph. Something moved through his face that was not the usual controlled stillness, something with heat underneath it, brief and then gone, replaced by the particular focus he used when something required immediate clear thinking."Sit down," he said.I'm fine standing.Ella. He said it quietly. Sit down.I sat on the edge of the chair near the window and held my own hands in my lap because they were trying to shake again and I was not going to let them.He sat across from me and looked at the photo again.The jaw, I said. The way he holds his hands. I don't have memories of him exactly, I was four, but I have a photograph my mother kept in a box under
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