Sebastian"I've decided something," Eli said.It was seven on Saturday morning. He sat at the kitchen table in his coat with the oldest green ledger shut on his knees. His eyes were red at the edges. I do not think he slept more than an hour."I'm going to keep the record," he said. "But I'm going to ask each child first. Out loud. Before I write anything down.""Your grandmother said that.""She did. I didn't understand it until last night." He pressed his hand flat on the cover. "Grandfather wrote you down without asking. I know why. He thought if you knew, you'd stop." He swallowed. "But you were nine. You didn't get to choose."I did not answer right away. I thought of a white van and a dented door."He did what he knew how to do," I said."It was love," Eli said. "It just wasn't permission. Those are different."I looked at my son. He was fourteen and nearly as tall as me, and he had worked out in one night what I had not worked out in forty years."Get in the car," I said. My vo
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