I did not sleep well after the letter, and by the time morning came I understood I was not going to be fit for anything until I let myself feel the parts of this I had been outrunning for eight years.I told Kael I needed the day alone, and he did not question it, only touched my shoulder once on his way out to see to Lyra, a small, wordless permission that meant more than any question would have.I spent the morning in the old Ashford wing, sealed since my parents died, dust thick enough on the furniture that my footprints showed clearly against the floor. I had not been inside it since I returned. The air smelled of old wood and disuse, faintly of my mother's perfume still clinging to fabric that had not moved in eight years. I sat in my mother's chair by the window, the fabric gone stiff with age, and let myself remember, properly, for the first time in longer than I could account for.My father's laugh. Loud, sudden, entirely unembarrassed, the kind of laugh that used to make visi
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