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Lahat ng Kabanata ng The Day I Left the Band, He Thought I’d Be Back: Kabanata 31 - Kabanata 40

40 Kabanata

Chapter 31

During the set that night, right before *Before Daybreak*, I told the crowd about a waitress I’d watched at a diner that afternoon.She’d been texting her kid with one hand while flipping chairs onto tables with the other so she could mop the floor before her shift ended.When the song finished, some people clapped, while others just sat quietly taking it in.I couldn't see every expression in the dim room.And more and more, I was happy to just hand a song over to the room without trying to dictate what it had to mean to everyone listening.At our D.C. stop, the trouble started before I even walked onstage.A local music journalist set his recorder on the table and opened with: "Have you ever thought about thanking your ex? If he hadn't pulled what he did, you might not have gone solo so fast."I looked at him, not answering right away.Beside me, our press rep shifted in her chair, getting ready to smooth things over.I beat her to it."I'm grateful to the people who helped me make t

Chapter 32

He wrote about a seven-year-old girl at the music shop who had a student recital coming up.She really wanted to play a little melody she’d made up herself, and his knee-jerk reaction was to tell her to stick to the standard method-book piece she already knew cold.The little girl looked up at him and asked why grown-ups always said *next time*.He said he stood frozen in the practice booth for a long time.At the end of the email, he wrote:*I let her play her song today. She fumbled twice, and her dad still filmed the whole thing beaming.**It finally clicked for me that giving someone a shot doesn't mean waiting until they're guaranteed not to miss a note.*I stared at the screen.After a long time, I typed back:*I hope you hold onto that going forward.*His reply came back fast.*If I really do change, would you ever be open to getting to know me again?*I closed my eyes for a second.A real realization on his part could be genuine, and the string attached to it could be just as r

Chapter 33

Everyone in the room was focused on how to handle the next one.Not a single person asked why I couldn't even keep a simple verse together.Back at the hotel, I called Maya.After listening to me vent, she asked, "Do you still want to go up there tomorrow?""Yeah.""Then go sing tomorrow."Sitting on the edge of the hotel bed, I started laughing.It wasn't until I stopped laughing that I realized my face was wet with tears."Maya, I genuinely used to think I had to be 100% flawless just to earn the right to stand up there.""Tonight I messed up, and they just waited for me."Maya’s voice came through the phone warm and gentle:"Because being perfect isn't the rent you pay to be their partner, Ivy.""You can stop holding your breath now."That night, I copied her exact words into my journal.The rest of the tour wrapped without any major technical hiccups.Yet the way I experienced a show had shifted completely.Instead of obsessing solely over whether my own fingers hit every mark, I s

Chapter 34

Right after soundcheck wrapped, the final installment from Noah hit my bank account.It wasn't a huge sum on its own, but added to the previous transfers, it zeroed out every last cent of the balance we’d agreed on.The transfer memo read:*Account settled in full. Bought a general admission ticket for tonight. Staying on the floor, won't come near backstage. Have a great show.*I stared at the notification for a long moment.And didn't send a reply.Spotting me standing in the hallway, Rachel asked if we needed to brief venue security.I nodded.Backstage remained strictly pass-only, no exceptions for anyone's history.I didn't want to turn tonight into a defensive crouch against him, nor did I feel any need to lower my boundaries just to prove how unbothered I was.Five minutes before doors, Maya ducked into the green room to help me straighten my collar.Looking at me in the mirror, she said softly, "Remember the morning you applied for the festival, when you asked me if you could r

Chapter 35

When I started writing it, the chair in my head was in our old practice room.By the time I sang it tonight, though, that empty chair didn't belong to that room anymore.People walk out of your life, and eventually, new people sit down.Not every empty spot needs to be filled by the person who left it.Out on the floor, I saw Ben listening intently near the soundboard.Danny stood right beside him, holding half a cup of water.Maya didn't pull her phone out once the entire night—just watched me with her own eyes.When we eased into *Before Daybreak*, a hush fell over the venue.The song didn't have a massive crescendo, and the lighting designer dropped the rig down to a single warm amber wash.I could hear my own breath in the mic, and the gentle decay of Anton's strings at the end of each phrase.When the final chord died out, the room didn't erupt right away.A full beat of silence hung in the air before the applause broke.I loved that pause.It felt like the quiet echo left behind

Chapter 36

My phone buzzed in my pocket.A text from Rachel.*Noah's outside the stage door. Says he has an old notebook of yours to return. If you don't want to see him, I can grab it for you or tell him to mail it.*I looked at the screen and thought for a moment.*Tell him to wait by the door. I'll come out.*I didn't invite him into the green room.When I pushed open the heavy metal alley door, Noah was standing under the security light clutching a brown kraft-paper package.The late-November night wind carried the damp chill of the river, tugging at the hem of his coat.He looked thinner than he had at the festival, though much more put-together—clean-shaven, his hair trimmed neat.Spotting me, his lips parted."Ivy.""Rachel said you had something to drop off."He nodded and held the package out.Inside the wrapping was a lined spiral notebook.It wasn't my original songwriting book—those were safe at my apartment. This was a clean copy I’d written out by hand for him when we were seventeen

Chapter 37

Out on the avenue, a city garbage truck rumbled past, its hydraulic brakes drowning out the alley for a few seconds.When the noise faded, he was still standing there."I know it's way too late to be saying any of this.""It is too late."Noah nodded, a tear tracking down his cheek.With nowhere left to hide, standing under the harsh fluorescent bulb over the alley door, he finally spilled out every truth he’d spent years dodging."At the very beginning, I genuinely believed I was looking out for you."He stared down at the kraft paper in his hands, his thumb rubbing mindlessly at the creased corner."You always got so nervous onstage. Whenever I took the mic for you, you'd look at me and smile like you were relieved. I told myself you needed me standing in front of you.""Then later, when you started asking when you could sing the first verse..." He swallowed hard. "I heard you."Down the hallway inside, a roadie rolled a flight case across the concrete floor.The casters clicked over

Chapter 38

Noah squeezed his eyes shut."Yes."As the word left his mouth, his shoulders sagged visibly.Standing across from him, I didn't feel a surge of triumph.There was a time when I would've given anything to hear him admit all of this.To make him understand why I was furious, why I refused to set foot back in that room, and why his talk of *making it up to me* only made my stomach turn.Now he finally understood every bit of it.And I no longer needed his confession to validate my choice to walk away.Noah held the notebook out between us."I should've given this back to you a long time ago, too."It was the copy I’d made for him at seventeen, worried he wouldn't be able to read the messy cross-outs on my original drafts.His name was written in the bottom right corner of the cover, the ink rubbed faint from years of handling.Next to that ugly little bridge on page one were two stick figures standing on the bank.I took the notebook for a second, my fingertips brushing the curled paper.

Chapter 39

He couldn't finish the sentence.And I didn't finish it for him.Stepping in to soften that silence would only turn into comfort—another scrap of *maybe* he could hold onto and turn over in his head.I had fed him too many maybes over six years.I wasn't leaving him another one tonight.I held the spiral notebook back out to him.He didn't immediately take it."You don't want it back?""I have my original drafts and the master tapes. I copied this one out for you in the first place.""But—""Keep it if you want to keep it. Or toss it if you don't. That's up to you."Staring at his own faded name on the cover, Noah slowly reached out and took it back.He’d clearly hoped returning this notebook would crack a door open between us—giving us a shared piece of nostalgia we could still talk about.An old notebook couldn't turn back the clock for us."I didn't throw the song away," I said evenly. "I sang it tonight, and I'm gonna keep singing it.""I just won't be thinking about you anymore wh

Chapter 40

He nodded hard.I stepped inside and let the heavy door swing shut behind me. Maya took my spare jacket from my arm and linked her elbow through mine."Freezing out there, huh? Danny saved a pot of hot chowder at the restaurant, and Ben just texted saying if you don't hurry up, he's demolishing the last basket of fries.""Tell him to save me half.""Already did. He said deal, as long as he gets first listen on tomorrow's new demo."We walked down the bright hallway toward the front exit together.From the other side of the heavy metal door behind us came the muffled sound of someone crying.I didn't look back.The van was idling at the curb on the corner.After loading my guitar case into the back, I climbed into the backseat just as my phone lit up.The house photographer had dropped a folder of live shots from tonight's set.One frame had been snapped right at the end of *Across the River*.I was standing at the mic, hundreds of hands raised across the floor—some people singing with

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