My book club did a Lisa See deep dive last year, so we had this list pinned. It's definitely: 1. 'Flower Net' (1997), 2. 'The Interior' (1999), 3. 'Dragon Bones' (2003), 4. 'Snow Flower and the Secret Fan' (2005), 5. 'Peony in Love' (2007), 6. 'Shanghai Girls' (2009), 7. 'Dreams of Joy' (2011), 8. 'China Dolls' (2014), 9. 'The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane' (2017), 10. 'The Island of Sea Women' (2019), 11. 'Lady Tan's Circle of Women' (2023). We read them in that order and it was a great experience.
Hmm, I'm not sure I agree with pushing 'Snow Flower' first just because it's popular. If your stated goal is following recurring characters, you should go straight to the source: 'Shanghai Girls'. Jumping in with a standalone might make you impatient if what you really want is a continuing saga. The emotional payoff in 'Dreams of Joy' relies entirely on the foundation built in the first book.
Treat those two as a single, long novel. Once you've finished that story, you'll know if you're invested in her writing enough to explore the other, unrelated books. They're all great, but they won't give you that 'what happens next' feeling.
Can we take a second to appreciate how prolific she is? To have a list long enough to cause confusion is a testament to her output. We're lucky to have so many books to sort through!
Most of the suggestions here are great. My personal vote is for the Fantastic Fiction website. It's clean, ad-free-ish, and just gives you the facts: title, year, series note, and cover art. It's my bibliographic bible for any author.